There are 2 defining moments in our relationship that confirmed that my heart was moving towards the right man. The conversation above was the first, and the second came not long after. A few of Bob's roommates were over (not Bob) in our apartment one day and we were all talking about dating and relationships. At the risk of being considered crazy I happened to mention that I had never been kissed and that I was saving that kiss for my wedding day. I wish I could describe the looks on the guys faces upon sharing my little tidbit. They were shocked and with very little hesitation began the barrage of comments that I had feared, "Gosh Bethany, how can you do that?", "Seriously, you would be the most frustrating woman to date!"and my favorite, "Bethany, no one is going to want to be with you." My heart took a major hit. If this is how most guys thought, what in the world was Bob going to say when I told him?
Later that evening I went over to Bob's apartment, seeking friendship and support. I felt lonely and hurt. Was I "undateable" and bound to live forever single in my vow? I shared it all with Bob, right down to the commitment that against all odds I still intended to keep. I told him and then waited to hear the door of a possible relationship slam shut, but instead, his response was this, "Wow Bethany that is special. Any man who gets to love you is blessed. You are a treasure to be found." What??? Did I hear that right? He respects me and my decision, thinks it a treasure? I went home just giddy, "Lord could this be the one?"
I learned very quickly that he had ended his relationship back home during all of this and on October 4th, 2002 took me out on our official first date. I remember it well, Sushi and a walk by the Lake. (It's a good thing I'm brave-- I had never had sushi). It was all things perfect. He got a haircut (the last of our dating days.....more on that later), dressed himself up and took me out. He gave me a single rose, of which I still have 3 tender petals saved in my journal. Our friendship was slowly morphing into something more.
In good ole' CCU terms we didn't Define the Relationship for a while. It was hard to feel in a space of more than friends, less than committed, but both of us were serious about being sure we were moving towards a forever kind of relationship. We hiked together, winter camped together (wanna know how to share 1 tent and have no desire for frisky business? Go to a Glacier when its 0 degrees and camp, amazingly effective), we started rock climbing, went snowboarding and spent any spare moment together even if that spare moment was in the parking lot in our car. Before we knew it, we were an item. When I would tell people that we were not boyfriend/girlfriend everyone who knew us would say, "Um, okay, but you guys are inseparable. Call it what you want, you are serious." In November just 4 months after our first meeting, we Defined ourselves. We had fallen completely, hook, line and sinker.
In November of that year, he took me back to Illinois and Iowa to meet his family. I was the first girl he had done that with. This was real.
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