Arizona Winters

A couple of weeks ago we had a short but very sweet visit from Grandma Jill and Aunt Sue.  Due to the crazy actual winter weather in Chicago, Grandma Jill's flight was delayed by a day, but when she got in we enjoyed every second with her.

Going to the airport my girls spent their energy at the Mesa Riverview park.  This climbing structure is one of their favorites, and YES, that is Lily Grace at the top.  She has done a lot of growing up to be confident enough to do that.....alone.

This little one did exactly what I told her to do (shocking) and stayed within her limits.  She may be unbelievably bold and daring, but she's smart too.  Praise the Lord! There is no way my foot could have gone up and rescued her so I was super grateful she erred on the side of obedience.

Grandma and Sue gave us a date night and even took the girls all day one day so that we could have an entire date day to ourselves.  We ventured out for our date night and saw Aquaman (so fun), but  totally stayed in the house and binge watched movies for our day date.  It was really fun.  Sitting and watching movies is something I do REALLY well these days and we had a great time.

On the last day here, everyone headed up to McDowell Mountain for a gorgeous Arizona winter hike.  I sat in a Starbucks and worked which is why I am not in any of these photos (this recovery process is really cramping my style).  They picked me up after they were done and we enjoyed a nice lunch together.

The weekend was so short, but any time spent with Grandma and Aunt Sue is a treat.  Here's to hoping this one of the final hike pictures I don't get to be in!

To Walk Among Giants

My girls are growing up. Its happening so fast and just the other day I had this realization that if I don't find my way past my foot and back to my camera, I am going to miss capturing them.  I mean look at them! (Even the hunky one in the middle is showing some grey).

What a season of life we are in.  Evie is working hard in Kindergarten this year.  She is younger than Lily was and we are having to remember that when she struggles to remember her word lists, she is only 5.5!  She has come so far and we are excited to watch her finish out her first year in elementary school.  Evie is a pistol and is challenging us in many ways.  Parenting her has stretched us.  She loves big, but she also angers big, and does mad big.  Helping her navigate the flood of emotions that she feels is not for the faint of heart.  Oh Lord grant us wisdom.  

Lily is growing into an amazing young woman.  Wow.  Her maturity level has skyrocketed this year and this little girl, ooooooof, she is amazing.  The well of her compassion runs deep and even though she still does battle with the inner "me only" setting, she has shown herself to have maturity well beyond her 8 years lately.  Lily cares a great deal, and as she is becoming a young woman my prayer is that she would guard her heart.  Her spirit is tender and she feels everything.  I think God gave her the same sort of gift he gave me, intuition and discernment.  This girl feels deep.

Both of my girls, although similar in so many ways, are very unique.  As they get older and slowly learn about this big world, we see them become their own persons.  If you ever want to understand different perspectives....come to my house.  Lily sees the world very black and white, while Evie colors everywhere but inside the lines.  Not right, not wrong, just different and beautiful.  

Sometimes I wish life wasn't so hard and then I remember that an easy life isn't an epic one.  As we journey ahead into this next season of parenthood I pray that Bob and I would continue to have wisdom and grace and an unwavering team unity. Raising confident, godly, bold, and courageous young women is not for the faint of heart and these girls are destined to walk among giants.

God Made Us Family

I am simply amazed at all God has been bringing into our lives lately.  Life is so much struggle, but its also so much life, and hope, and good.  Sometimes the greatest things truly happen when you least expect them.

The Hill family has become such an important part of our lives this past year.  It all started with a guys night and from that moment as Anne of Green Gables would say, were were "kindred spirits." After a year of doing life, making memories, playing games, and fighting cancer, we find ourselves having become a family. Life is SO much better when its shared.

Last month, Ashley and Taylor took us all out for breakfast and asked if we would be Daniel's Godparents. I didn't grow up with Godparents, but I had so many incredible adults that invested in m life.  After learning the importance of these figures for this family, both Bob and I were moved and completely humbled.  We have been invited to truly become a part of this family.  To walk beside this couple as they raise their kids and to be an integral part of Daniel's life.  

What a blessing and honor.

Now we have become part of this amazing, beautiful family filled with Ashley, Taylor, Sharyl, Nora's Godparents, Merriam and Scott, and their 4 kids.  

God has multiplied our family and now we have more kids in our lives than we ever thought we would.  AND WE LOVE IT!

Being chosen as Daniel's godparents is not only a tremendous blessing for us, but also for our girls.  They are now part of this extended family with more siblings than they ever thought they would have  and the most amazing adults to help them navigate growing up.

Daniel, we are honored to be a part of your life, and we look forward to watching you grow into the man God wants you to be.  As Joshua was told, "Be Bold and very Courageous," you were made to do immeasurably more than you ever thought possible. We, your family, are always on your team.

Made For More

I have made it so clear here on this forum that I want to have an epic life.  No wait.....I want to have a life that all adds up to an epic story.  I want to live well, experience constantly, love deeply, accept peacefully, move forward boldy.  I want a story that is full of highs and lows,  good and bads, joys and sorrows, incredible wins and harsh losses.  And I want to do it all, and to do it all well.

My cast came off last Monday and not only am I not healed, but I am worse off than I was a month ago.  As my leg and foot muscles have all atrophied and in the words of my dear nursing friend, I am officially "de-compensated." My injury is exposed, painful,  and not better.  Upon the removal of the cast, even the Dr.'s eyes grew wide when he saw my sweet foot. "Wow, I really would have thought that complete immobilization would have provided some improvement, but it is no better." No, it is no better and I find myself inside of a great unsolved mystery.

I allowed myself to go into a cast without an MRI and do not plan to make that choice again. NO Doctor, I will not go into ANOTHER cast for 6 weeks without an MRI. Frankly, I am tired of guessing, and I will not do anything further until all of the tests that I can get are done.  We need all the information possible before we talk or do anything further. So this past Thursday I was finally able to have a successful MRI. 

I got there bright and early and felt an enormous victory with every click and buzz of that machine. My 30 minutes in the test was a time of prayer, gratitude, and hope.  After 4 months, I am finally getting the test that I really need.  The waiting still continues though as I navigate through the health care maze of checkpoints, office bureaucracy, office hours, holidays, and weekends.......my current IRONMAN.....learning to wait.

So where are we?

If I go with what the current Orthopedic doctor is suggesting.......its a toe fusion, toe replacement, or a cortisone injection.  AGAIN, we still have no idea WHAT is going on.......but those are the current "solutions" being offered. None of these (except maybe the cortisone) are acceptable options for me so its time to find another opinion. The damage is most definitely soft tissue, and it is absolutely going to take a LONG time to heal, but I simply do not believe that fusing my toe joint is the solution.  Not right now.

I have A LOT options to exhaust before we even begin to explore surgery as the only option.
I just need to know WHAT THE DANG PROBLEM IS!

So I wait......wait for the test results and then I start researching every Chiro, massage, fascia release, healing energy, essential oil, meditation, acupuncture. and natural healing specialist I know.  I start advocating for myself and out thinking the problem. If you, or your grandma, or your neighbor's cousin's best friend has an idea....I am all ears.  I have been made in the image of the Divine and this body was made to work, and heal, and be well.

But really Bethany, how are YOU?

I am good, I am at peace, I am expectant.  I am humbled and blessed by the richness of life that has flowed from  all of my own "loss."  I have been made for more.  I have been made for an epic life.  I have been made for a life lived confidently.  I have been made to be a light to others and to have joy and hope.  I have been made to change what I can, and accept the things I cannot.  I have been made for great BIG things, and I AM OKAY in this place.

Let it Snow

It is January 1, the start of a New Year.  So much possibility and so much hope exists at number 1.  Even though I woke up with a painful foot (cast is off.....no progress.....more later), I am reminding myself of one thing, NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP!!!

Our holidays were FANTASTIC for my family and bitter sweet for me.  This year Memaw was ready to teach the girls how to ski!  I remember growing up on the slopes of Colorado and I was SO excited for them this year.  Although I was unable to participate, I didn't want them to miss the opportunity so on Christmas Eve we introduced our girls to Sunrise Ski Resort and by golly, they learned to ski!

Fun fact about Sunrise.  My Mom and her family grew up on that mountain.  They were Ski Patrol for much of her teenage years.  How cool that our girls get to learn on the same mountain that Mom has so many ties too.  It really was cool.  Evie took to it like a pro.  She and Memaw were all smiles working on pies, turns, stops, and bent knees.  Evie has no fear, and she LOVED it all.  In fact she was off the bunny hill and onto the big hills by the end of the day.

Lily was a bit more hesitant, but she and Bob worked together to learn the turns and the stopping. Lily's caution won out for the first couple of runs, and we had to convince her that she could do it.  She is an amazing athlete, but she is also a risk averse lady.  Its gonna save her SO many broken bones.........that her sister is gonna get.

Both girls did AMAZING on the slopes and I spent my day in the lodge, reading, working, and wishing I was making the memory with them.  I kept telling myself that when I am able to ski the girls are going to be awesome and confident.  We can go down the big hills together.

Christmas was restful and quiet. We slept in, made breakfast, ate candy, opened presents, played games, and watched movies.....ALL DAY LONG.  It was great. I'm trying to embrace the sedentary life right now and Christmas was a lovely day.  How rich we truly are. Santa brought Evie a new scooter and Lily the whole set of Magic Treehouse.  Magic. Memaw and Papa got the girls an entire new wardrobe and Adventures in Odyssey series, and Grandma and Grandpa Hill got the girls new bibles, new gymnastics outfits, and jammies.

On our last day in the mountains, we all woke up to SNOW!!! The girls were ecstatic and couldn't wait to go out in it.  This is there own version of the Polar Bear challenge.  

Bob took them sledding and then we made Christmas cookies.  So much fun to be had by all.

Just before we left to head down the mountain, the girls and Ellie had one final hoorah in the snow.  They played, and threw snow, and ate snow.  

We brought 1 very tired puppy home.  

When we got home, we had more gifts to open and my snow bunnies tranformed into summer mermaids lickity split. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Longmire!

Only in Arizona can you spend one day in a foot of snow and the next day swimming as a mermaid in the local heated pool.  These girls, their life is sweet.

Our holidays were lovely and yet I am anxious to move forward.  I am excited for 2019 and pray beyond all hope that next Christmas I am on the slopes and in the pool with my family!