God Bless America, and Spring!

We are fast approaching that magical time of year that is Spring, and we know because there are all things musical and fun happening at school!

This year for President's day, the 3rd grade classes put on a very special patriotic performance at school, and YES it does say God Bless America in a public school.  Lily has been singing and practicing her music for months now and couldn't wait for her performances.  In case you can't find her she is right there in the front to the left of the kid in the blue shorts.  Her smile is almost as big as her personality. 

They opened the short show with a big group song and then broke off into classes for special class only pieces.  Lily was super excited that she got to wear a hat and do motions for "This Land is My Land."  

They also had a blast with pom poms and I won't lie, Lily might have a future on stage, she loves performing with a group.  Its such a neat thing to see as a Mother.

The kids had two performances in the day and Grandma and I showed up for both.  I love this sweet class and Tina Wylie is beyond an incredible teacher.  She has sparked the love of reading with Lily and as you can see clearly,  school is a happy place for her.

A couple of days later we had Evie's Spring Fling concert.  Its so much fun to do these events for both girls.  Evie's songs finish with a picnic and we were so fortunate to have Daddy here for that one!

Evie was especially excited because she had herself a little solo and she nailed it.  All week long she kept reminding us that "I get to sing in the microphone."  I won't lie, you could hear her over all the other kids!

School Concerts are special and even though they are short and sweet, Bob and I cannot talk enough about how incredible it is to be a parent that shows up.  I am more reminded of how important the little moments are every day!  Here's to a beautiful Spring filled with life, growth, and joy.

1:29:44

He did it!  Bob ran a sub 1:30 half marathon.  To put that in perspective, Bob ran 13.1 miles at a pace of 6:46 per mile.  That's fast.  For all of us back in the 8 to 9 minute pack, that pace is blistering and HE FREAKING DID IT!

A few months ago, Bob set it in his mind to do something.....set an athletic goal.....and see if he could do it.  He decided to attempt a sub 1:30 half marathon.  This was a big step for him considering 1:38 was his previous PR, and shaving 8 minutes off his time was going to be a challenge.  So he printed out a 12 week training plan, put it on the fridge (so sexy) and got to work.

Watching him move through his training plan brought a lot of smiles to my face.  The journey to a big goal like that is full of ups and downs.  Its full of days feeling like lightning, and days feeling like a drenched rat.  Its fraught with moments of "YES, I CAN," and "OOOOOO, maybe I can't."  

Trust the process......stick to the plan.

As speed and time picked up he started to waiver on his stretch goal of sub 1:30 and re-evaluate targeting just a PR.....say 1:35.  Then his Dad bought him some wings.  

Nike Vaporfly shoes (similar to the ones Eliud Kipchoge wore to run an under 2 hour marathon) showed up and it was just the umpf he needed to reignite the stretch goal.  So he wrote it, claimed it, and hit the start line ready.

I kissed him on the morning of the race and sent him with the Las Sendas group while I went to the 10k start line with Grandma, Grandpa, Matt, and Katie.  It was such a joy to be back in the racing game.  I am so ready to be over this mono thing and onto the next thing!

 

Our group had a wonderful run together and we crossed the finish with Katie right around the 1 hour mark.  I hid in the finish line, pulled up the tracking APP, and sat praying and watching the time, and praying that he would do it.  When I first opened the app he was at mile 10.2 holding a 6:45 pace.  Every update I got told me he was doing it.  The time hit 1:29:00 and I looked and strained to see him.  At 1:29:38 I saw him down the road and new it was going to come down to mere seconds.  He was pushing, but he was SO CLOSE!

The guy didn't hesitate and ran across that finish at a smooth 1:29:44.  His excitement was amazing and so awesome to see! With the help of an incredible pacer, named Elijah, who as Bob said, "had a mustache so bad he had to be fast," Bob hit his mark.

He rang the PR bell loud and proud and finished his Star Series races on a high note! Incredible goal, incredible effort, and incredible guy.

Theme of Awareness

New Year's resolutions.  Such an interesting and human practice.  The art of starting fresh, of setting goals, of letting go of failures and looking forward with hope.  For many of us making resolutions is a successful endeavor and for others the greatest failure point.  Its so easy to make big goals when you get to "start over."  When you can say, "well  I failed in 2019, but 2020 is my year not to fail!" I suppose it is a good practice and yet I myself have found it rather anxiety producing.  I think its because I am an endurance athlete.

Making resolutions is so like signing up for a race.  I mean all you have to do is fall in love with the medal, click on the link, put in your credit card, and click submit.  So easy peasy.  Getting there? Getting to the finish. Shoot, just getting to the start line? WHOLE. DIFFERENT. STORY.  I mean, there are failure points everywhere on that journey.  But it was so easy to sign up!

Last year I made the resolution to read a book a month.  I did that, but it was challenging.  I also made the resolution to spend less and save more.  I (we) failed on that one.  So I ended 2019 in both success and failure. 

Bob and I came across a great YouTube video by one of our favorites CGP Grey.  He talked about this very thing and that resolutions set us up to fail and that perhaps we should change the way we think bout this process.  Instead of choosing specific resolutions maybe we should choose to have year Themes.  I love this way of thinking and I wanted to share.

The idea of themes is simple enough.  Instead of resolving to lose weight and go to the gym 4 times a week, choose to have a Theme of health.  Instead of resolving to read 1 book a week, and always chose education over Facebook, choose a Theme of learning.  Don't resolve to save a set amount per month, instead choose a Theme of financial transparency.  You may lose 5 pounds in the first month and none the next.  You may find yourself unable to save, or read, or learn for a time. You haven't failed, just remember your theme and move towards it.  

It was eye opening and so great for me. I gave it some thought and decided to chose this way of beginning.  So my theme this year is Awareness.  Primarily in our finances (since I am the Longmire CFO), but also in my health (lets not get injured and Mono again), my marriage, and my desire to be a woman of joy.  

Those of you that know us at all know that we are a TESLA family and have known without doubt that our next vehicle will be a TESLA.  Its been hard to dream this dream because no matter how you slice it they are expensive.  We just haven't been focused on managing our finances to some day make this a reality, but I am tired of that.  Tired of not stewarding our money better and spending it where we don't need to.  So this year we put a reservation down on a Tesla Cybertruck, and in 2 years when our time comes, we are going to have the money and plan to own one.  I am aware and making choices to implement that awareness.  One practical thing I am doing?  Stopping the Amazon Prime habit.  We now make a list and add things throughout the month.  At the end of the month we make one purchase and check to be sure all the things we "thought" we needed we really do.  Its been eye opening.  

My health....what a journey.  Awareness here is the willingness to truly embrace what makes me happy and whole while honestly letting go of the things that don't.  Best example....Crossfit.  Not only is it expensive, but after 1.5 years of injury and illness, I am finally convinced that my body doesn't like it.  So instead of wishing it were different and constantly looking at Crossfit bodies that I deem look better than mine, I'm letting it go.  I am aware.  I LOVE Yoga,  my body loves yoga, my mind and my heart and my anxiety love yoga.  I LOVE to run, I love endurance, I love triathlon, I do.  I am aware of the things that serve me and am letting go of the things that don't.

Being aware, quite possibly for the first time, of the ways my body actually likes to move and look and do has been empowering and honestly transcending.  My yoga practice is flourishing and my body is moving in ways I have NEVER moved.  The controlled strength that has come from learning to handstand and incorporate inversions into my life is new.  I am discovering muscles and movement I never dreamed was possible. But its stepping back and taking an honest inventory of who and what I am.  This body that God gave me is masterful and capable and incredible, but it cannot do everything.  I am using this theme to let it speak.  For the first time....I am listening.

I am aware of what steals my joy and aware of what brings me joy.  I breathe in one, and I breathe out the other.  I am aware of how my attitude, my words, and my actions influence those around me. I am aware of how we spend our resources.  I am aware

2020 is the year of awareness and transparency for me. And its going to be a raging success!

Love is a Choice

I love my husband.  If you don't know me or are just meeting me here I am going to start this post by telling you.  I am seriously all in, madly in love, all the feels into my husband. He is tall, dark, and undeniably handsome, has a 6 pack, is gorgeously fit (as in runs a sub 1:30 half marathon), and sports a few grays.  He is one of the most passionate, forgiving, and loyal men I have ever known.  He admits faults, doesn't fear emotions, never stops pursuing, and can legitimately show grace like a man after God's own heart.  He's incredible, irresistible, all out in love with me, and unwaveringly committed to me.

But he's not perfect.  Neither am I.

We have discovered this blaring inadequacy in the both of us over the past couple of years and through our life, battles, and desire to remain married, have learned a few things.  A few really important things.  You know, actually its just one REALLY BIG thing.

Love is a Choice.  You have to choose it.  AND its the hardest when you don't feel it.

Three years ago I had just finished IRONMAN.  Bob's unwavering support had not only gotten me to the finish line, but had been catalyst for believing I even could.  It was a high, so much success, so much unplanned potential!  My possibilities as an endurance athlete quadrupled in that moment.  Sky was the limit.....what could I achieve with this new found skill? In an instant I had all these new dreams all these new limits and yet my husband was done.  All done.  So, so, so done.

Done with the hours and hours of training, done with the rigidity of scheduling, done sharing me with something else, done having an exhausted wife, done with the striving, done with the constant "next thing," so done. You see the door of opportunity that had given me glory and joy turned out to be a soul crushing loneliness for him.  He absolutely was supportive, but when it was done, so was he.

 But I was just getting started. What about my dreams, what about all the things I could accomplish, and the medals I could have?  I'm good at this! I'm supposed to be doing this!

And we fought, and fought, and fought.

There was a moment where the chasm between us was great. What happens when your dreams diverge? What happens when you feel compelled, excited, and "lead" to go down a road that your spouse won't go? What happens when something that sets your soul on fire, literally crushes the other?  What happens in this moment?

You make a choice.

So there we were.  An impasse.....

Why was it so hard?  Why was the idea that this dream I had may not be the best thing for me or my family such an issue? Why was Bob not on board? Why was this happening?

I cannot tell you how many people I talked to during this time that told me things like "your dreams matter, and if he can't get on board, maybe he isn't the best for you," that "if he really loved you he would absolutely continue to support all of your athletic goals, you are amazing!"  And the wound that we had opened festered. Disappointment, disillusionment, and doubt began to take hold and I found myself actually thinking.....yeah, I SHOULD be able to do exactly what makes me happy, and this marriage thing isn't doing it.

I'm here to shatter some glass y'all.  Love and marriage DO NOT and WILL NOT always make you happy.   We are a selfish, self absorbed, and self promoting being. You will absolutely have to not do something you feel you should be able to do for the sake of your marriage. READ THAT AGAIN......Guaranteed you too will find yourself one day at a crossroads. One sign pointing to "what sets your soul on fire," and the other pointing to the one person who may or may not be willing to walk down the other road with you.  Love is a choice. And its a damn hard one.  If it isn't hard, you haven't had to make it yet.

Now if you have made it this far and are still with me, I am finally ready to get to the point of this blog.

Your life does not have one purpose.  Your life is not preset by a dream you are supposed to pursue, and you WILL have different dreams, passions, and desires that come and go. Your life is not defined by any of them. Your life is not supposed to be for you.  Read that again.....your life is not about you. Maybe best said in the words of a parent, "this world? DOES NOT revolve around you."

What makes your life is the choices you make, and the thousands of times you make a choice either for self or for others.

Could I be an incredible athlete, racing Kona, kicking ass and taking names?.....you bet.

Could I be a phenomenal business woman, running corporations?......yep

A phenomenal musician.....sure

A missionary...... uh huh

A theatrical phenom.....you betcha

A Doctor..........nope

I could have lived on Broadway, or abroad. I could have lived the single life.  I could have lived a thousand different ways on a thousand different days.  My life could have had fulfilling purpose and soul fire passions in a hundred other worlds all made possible by the great gift of my choice.

What saved my marriage?  I made a choice. And it wasn't about me.  I chose him. And it was hard. And making it felt equal parts right and equal parts awful.  But I made it and I kept waking up and making it until one day it got easier and I began to reap the rewards of committing to my marriage over self interest.

Now I wake up, and the choice is not hard, in fact, it has become what sets my soul on fire.

Him, me, us.....we are so good together, and our marriage and love is flourishing and growing.

And yet it is still not without sacrifice.  For both of us. This thing called oneness, this thing called love, is sacrificial and will always be.  Its surrendering, its turning the inner dial to 51% others and constantly being accountable to the reality that this world does not revolve around you.  Its about dreaming and goal setting together, with purpose, and oneness.  Its about not getting stuck on the I in team (yes I can spell).

And Bob and I are happy and whole.  We have so much joy and peace.  We are in love and can't figure out why we can't spend all day in each other's arms.  Its life giving and good.

I see why marriage is the training grounds for kingdom living.   Jesus came not to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.  He calls us into that kind of living, because that is where life lives.  Its hard and contrary to everything this world, social media, and the latest meme tells us, but sowing the seeds of selflessness will yield a harvest of joy that I can say is without doubt well worth the cost.

Life is Wild

Living in Arizona most definitely has its perks.  one of the awesome things about our state is the many zoos it offers.  The Wildlife Zoo is one of those amazing places and I cannot believe that we have lived here for nearly 5 years without visiting.  

All that changed last weekend when we took the long drive out west with Grandma Jill to meet Aunt Linda for this amazing and wonderful experience.

What makes this place so amazing?  The animals are within touching distance.  No kidding.  I mean our first show was the sea lion show and this little handsome guy was not but 4 feet from me and my girls.  So neat!

It absolutely amazing to see these creatures maneuver in the water, but it is a special experience to almost touch one!

Another amazing thing about this place is that it is an aquarium, zoo, and amusement park all in one!  No kidding!  Even in the winter, the girls couldn't wait to do the log ride! :)

Not only are the plethora of animals close enough to nearly touch, but they are active and mobile and the setting is so immersive.  Babies were everywhere and every monkey and creature was visible.

This monkey below has me howling.  Mom just hanging there teaching the little one how to hold on to stuff while holding the snack and making sure the little tyke doesn't fall.  Yep that checks out.

Even the peacocks were free roaming and you could get right up close and personal with them.

These two cats were my personal favorite to experience.  Such rare beauty and so incredible.  I have never before seen a white tiger and felt even more fortunate to capture the eyes. WOW.

Every animal was spectacular and there were rows and rows and rows of opportunities to see one.  We even attended a little show showcasing a few of their species.  Up close and personal.  Pretty cool.

We spent a boatload of time observing the free ranging monkeys.  The zoo has given them a safe habitat complete with enormous full palm trees.  They jump and swing and fly from tree to tree using any appendage they have to hold on.  Really incredible.

We had lunch in the Aquarium restaurant surrounded by sharks and ocean wildlife.  Even after 5 hours we still had not seen the entire place.  The general consensus was that we would absolutely have to return!