#shesmyfriend

So ladies, lets be honest.  How many years have we spent hating on our bodies?  How many days, months, times, years, have we looked into the mirror, or looked at that piece of cake, and thought ugh......that's going to my hips?  How many diets have we tried, pills have we taken, professionals have we visited, lotions have we purchased, gyms have we joined all in the hopes of making our bodies a little less likely to hate?  Be honest......how long have you been at war with yourself?

For me?  Its been a while.  20 years?  A bit more?  Ooooooof that's hard to say out loud.  But I said it.  I have spent 20 years of this precious life criticizing and attacking this body of mine.  I'm not always critical, and I have moments of love, but up until recently, I will admit it......I have spent a lot of my days reminding my body of all the ways it isn't measuring up.  So much energy wasted.

Jen Hatmaker wrote a book recently, Fierce, Free and Full of Fire, in which she addresses the self loathing and beauty standards that we as women so often find ourselves wrapped up in.  I have read a lot of self help articles and books, but this one.....it got me.  She broke down the cultural and marketing trap that has an almost 99% effective rate of getting us to hate ourselves and then introduced this idea that maybe we could be free of all of it if we saw all that our body does.....instead of seeing all that out body isn't.  

Everything that you have done is because your body has done it.  When you wake up and see, that's your body.  When you hear the giggles of your children, that's your body.  When you speak the words "I love you" and feel the peace of a hug....that's your body. When you have incredible sex and orgasms.....your body at its finest.  

Your body has learned how to walk so your can go places, it listens so that you can learn.  It feels, and touches, and moves, and breathes.  It changes and adapts, it takes you across finish lines, it supports all your dreams.  It carries the ring your spouse gave you, and bears the enormous task of carrying a child. It bends and breaks, it nurtures and comforts, it gives and gives and gives.   It laughs, and cries, and feels for you. Remember that REALLY bad haircut you had?  Your body took care of that. 

And yet we never seem to love it.  We focus on something that our bodies were never meant to be....culturally perfect. And constantly blame and criticize it for not being so.  It does everything for us......and yet when we look into the mirror we are convinced that it cant get anything right mostly because of its shape.  

I'm a great friend, but I would have walked a LONG time ago from a friendship if I was treated the way I have treated my body in the past. 

What if "it" was a her and we stopped talking ABOUT her, and started being friends WITH her.  What if she was worthy of all the respect and honor and kindness this world can offer simply because she is a friend that has never left your negative nelly, critical self? 

At 37 its time......to stop hating, and start loving this best friend of mine.  I am grateful to and for her.  She has helped me make so many amazing memories.  She made me an IRONMAN, she bore and fed my two beautiful daughters.  She has seen all sides of this globe with me.  She is strong and can stand on her hands.  She is beautiful. All the things I can do are because this best friend of mine does them.

#shesmyfriend

For the month of July I have decided to practice yoga every day and post a yoga pose picture on my instagram with the hashtag above.  It may seem vain and self promoting and to that I say YES.....and it should be.  I am celebrating all the things that this body can do and YOGA has unleashed this incredibleness that is her. 

And she is worth the respect and honor that's due.

The Guy who is

 To the guy who leads me up the mountain, and follows me through the desert......

To the guy who gets up with me at 420 to catch the sunrise and this amazing shot.......

To the guy who never stops kissing me.......and makes me always feel like the sexiest woman in the room......

To the guy who lets me chase my dreams and try new things and sweat a lot in hot yoga.......

Who holds me up and makes me feel safe........

To the guy who gets sexier with age.......even with that silly hat.

To the guy who stands on his hands with me......who walks through fire and pain with me......

Who leads with humility and strength.....who models grace and patience.....

To the guy who lets me play and find the simple joys......

To the guy who fills all my pictures.......

 

To the guy who has turned my world upside down and give me wings to fly. 

16 years just isn't enough time with you. 

To all the years ahead of us and the beautiful ones behind us,  I'm SO glad I picked you.

Happy Anniversary!

Adulting is Hard.....We Out!

Pandemic craziness aside, it is a delight to travel these days!  A couple of weeks ago, I headed back out to Colorado for another photography trip. I have deeply missed my travel, and deeply missed visiting my girlfriend Sarah too.  Sarah is a traveling nurse in LA currently so instead of going alone my girlfriend Melissa came with me and we had a masked blast.

After my successful work breaking my Starbucks habit I have only reintroduced it.  ITS SO EXPENSIVE!  BUT so worth it every now and then.  A plane ride....with my book.....so worth it.

 Our new pandemic normal makes all the things a little weird, but I won't lie, social distance travelling is magical.  We not only flew on a half full flight, but managed to enjoy the light rail, and stop at a very not busy Union Station.

Melissa and I stayed at my dear friends TJ, and Justin's house.  TJ went to great lengths to be sure that we would have a lovely time.  We had complete access to her wine cupboard, her hot tub, her garage gym, and Netflix.  I daresay it was a slice of heaven. 

We shared so many great conversations and laughed a lot.  Breaking from the constancy of Motherhood was wonderful.  

On the first day of our trip, I had the blessing of meeting with this lovely lady below.  Tracy is a new friend of mine that I got to know because of my dear friend Rebekah.  When I met her she was moving out to CO and I am so glad that I was able to make her a priority and catch up a bit.  People and relationships are such a blessing.  I am so excited to have yet another beautiful human in CO to see.

I only had 3 clients for the weekend which allowed us to stay up late, sleep in, have breakfast whenever, and shop.  It was great and we even managed to find a couple of restaurants to eat out at.  

My favorite day was our last day when we spent a large portion of the day in Boulder.  It has been a while since I have found myself in Boulder and cannot believe how spectacularly beautiful the place is.  We walked the main street in our masks and found a little hole in the wall spot for dinner.  My clients met us on the Boulder CU campus and the place they picked was simply amazing.  I have so many incredible shots from that session and think I have found a new favorite place for pictures.

Amidst the regulations, masks, and closures, the City of Boulder was so joyful.  There is something akin to hope that runs even down the crosswalks.  There is kindness and there is love plus the deer run free......and I even think Melissa encountered a racoon!

I am so thankful to have friends in many places and open homes and hearts.  Its a blessing and was a truly wonderful experience to share with Melissa.  Here's to many more adventures!

Daddy is my Guy

Guys, time is flying.  This pandemic has done a lot of stuff, but the biggest of which is make me feel like the time is equal parts not moving and flying off the shelves.

Just today a friend of mine said, "Bethany, I feel like summer time has literally sped up my children's growth!"  Its true, being around the kids on a daily basis shows all the little changes that keep adding up to growing up.  It does happen fast.

I am so grateful to be doing this parenting thing with this guy, because every now and then the reality of knowing these girls will not be in our house forever hits me hard.  These baby birds have wings and man are they testing them.

I know that Dad's are special, but having girls has made me all the more sure that having a good man in your daughter's life can make all the difference.  The way he leads and loves and honors them is good.  Its so good and something worth celebrating.

Plus, lets face it, he's the one that can turn a car wash into whatever all this was!.....

Does not get better than that.

I can remember when I first married Bob I would have a recurring dream.  It was one in which he would come home from whatever line of work he was in and on his way up the walk his daughter (hmmmmm) would run out and without pause he would lift her into his arms.  Simple, but I dreamt it often.  To have a man who longs so deeply to love his wife and his children that we, those people, simply could not wait for him to arrive.

Its my reality and a gift.  It's priceless

Bob, I am thankful for you, and grateful for your heart.  Thank you for always committing to us and for showing our girls what deep sacrificial love looks like.  Thank you for leading graciously and walking through fire some days to reach us.  For being our safe space.....

Happy Father's Day

Don't Forget Me

So Memorial Day happened a seemingly long time ago, and yet I never got around to posting about it.  I'm giving myself a lot of grace these days and letting myself catch up on posts I wanted to write even if the moment is long gone.

This year the Matthews family invited us to partake in their yearly tradition which is to place a dozen roses on the headstones of veterans.  We Longmires have never invested or engaged in "remembering" quite like that before and were truly blessed with the opportunity to connect more fully this year to the purpose of the holiday.

The Matthews bought us all donuts and we met at the Cemetery in Mesa.  It has been a while since I have found myself in a cemetery and its equal parts strange, beautiful, and fascinating.  Both of the girls were very nervous because lets face it, their sum total of cemetery experience is equivalent to Scooby Doo on Haunted Hill.  Its a shame how media and kids shows make cemeteries out to be so scary.  They aren't, and as a matter of fact, as we walked through and read the names of people gone before, was so peaceful and purposeful.  We searched for any and all who had served our country and once all of our flowers were placed just walked by each headstone and read the names.

Evie found a little girl that had passed, that was hard. For her and her Daddy.  I was amazed at the married couples who rested next to each other after a lifetime of oneness.  This life is short and long, its worth living, but it doesn't last forever.

All in all though, I was most drawn to the dates on the headstones.  Every single one had dates carved into the stone.  A born year, a dash, and an end year.  Here in this hallowed ground lie people who lived a lifetime of experiences all put into a dash, and perhaps a few key words.  It made me mindful.

A friend of mine talks constantly about "living her dash."  Its a cute anecdote, but not one I have ever given much thought to, until this Memorial Day. People are remembered not for their years, but for their dash.  It might be short, even a day, or long, like 107 years, but its the thing that gives that person a space in the history books.  Their dash.

I am eternally grateful for the men and women who used their dash to fight for freedom that my children and I now enjoy. The significance of that choice is not lost on me.  I respect it and am humbled by it.

I am determined to live my dash well, and one day when my dates are set, I hope my dash will be worth remembering.  So if I can reach through the interwebs and tell you anything its this. You are living the dash that will sit in history.  Your highs and lows, your good and bad, all of it will make up that single line.  Stay present, be kind, resolve conflict, build relationships, find Jesus, love your spouse, and go boldly forward.  Your dash is one worth living.

Evie Bee Turns 7!

Oh Bee, how are you 7?  Time truly does go so fast, except when it doesn't.  Girl, you are all sugar and all spice and I deeply, deeply love ALL of you.

Watching you and your sister grow up and become young women is so beautiful, and so special.  I have great and deep pride in the two of you.  You Bee are incredible.

This season of quarantine has been wonderful and so challenging.  You have pushed Daddy and in more than a few ways.  You are bold, and confident, and beyond determined.  You do not sway, you go all in, you are not afraid to have an opinion.  Girl, I love you for it, even when it creates struggle.  Keep your boldness, keep your drive, but baby, keep listening to Jesus.  Don't die on every hill and girl, you don't always have to push all the buttons.

Tickles, and snuggles, and playtime, that is what makes your smile shine.  If Daddy would just tickle you all day you would be happy.  You just love that guy (I get it, I love him too).

You baby girl are growing up so much.  This year you asked to be baptized.  And while quarantine changed lots of plans, your heart for Jesus and others grows daily.  You get love, and you give it. 

 

I am so grateful that we could take you, your sister, and Erienne to Great Wolf Lodge for your birthday. What a fun time for you to celebrate

You played Magiquest, and bowled....

You ate all the candy and I think 2 cups of ice cream....

Your Daddy and I sat outside  for a good couple of hours one day and let the three of you have your independence.  I put this here because you are so grown up we no longer worry about seeing you all the time.  Its wonderful, and weird, we simply don't have babies anymore. Our trust in you is growing.

You did both levels of the ropes course....by yourself.

   

 

And climbed to the top of the climbing wall.....twice.

You rode the drop slide and did every possible thing you could.  

On this trip you hit that 48 inch mark.  Nothing stops you now......see I told you.

 

Evie Bee I am so amazed by you and hope each day to live up to the bar of boldness you set.  You are outgoing and kind, but big, and outspoken, and unafraid.  I always tell your sister, go, do, and be bold.  The same is true for you.  Let Jesus lead you, don't let life knock you down, and girl, shine that big beautiful light with all you got.

All my love

Mom