R2R2R: Manzanita to Phantom Ranch

Alright,  So I now had both feet struggling with blisters, my arches were hurting, and my body was feeling all the distance.  I was knocking on the door of the pain cave, and deeply frustrated that I had been feeling pain off an on since mile 7.  That was not at all part of the plan, or the expectation, or the hope.  I was mentally so strong and did not doubt my ability to complete the distance once during the trip, but the reality of how fast I was going to move and how much pain I was going to feel was definitely settling in.  All the way up the North Rim Bob and I were in the middle of the pack, and I felt really strong and hopeful that I would not be the last one out of the canyon.

As we headed on the 7 mile trek to Phantom Ranch, the part of our group that was behind us came running past me at mile 35 and my pride took a hard, fast fall, right on its face.  I wanted to admit that I felt as good as they did, I wanted to believe that I could run like they were, but alas....that was not reality.  And guys.....I ugly cried right there on the trail.  Ultra distance is HARD and the reality of a strong mind and terribly weak feet is honestly a pill I have not wanted to swallow in full.  I did all of the training I could handle, and honestly, in that moment, was deeply disappointed that I didn't feel as good as everyone else.  Even Bob, who is amazing and never left me, could have run and been faster.  In that moment I was the weakest link, and I felt all of that negativity swirl in my head.  And yes, I ugly cried right there on the trail.

But that is human experience and the part that I am actually proud of is what happened 3 minutes later.  I took a big deep and cleansing breath, ate some food (always a good choice) and told myself 3 things:

1. Who cares if you are last? You are doing R2R2R! And you know you can walk that far.

2. Bethany its hot and sunny and every tear you cry just dehydrates you.  Stop it right now.

3. It takes energy to be prideful, it takes energy to be angry, and it takes energy to be negative.  And you don't have enough to throw a pity party AND walk out of this canyon.  So again, stop it right now.

And I did.  I shifted, and adjusted, and changed the expectations right there.  I extended grace and praised myself for simply doing this thing.  I thanked God for a husband who gave me space, but never left my side physically or emotionally in that little stretch of the canyon.  Who was feeling his own stuff and never had a doubt that I would pull my sh!#$ together and finish what I started. 

By the time we reached the Box again the sun was down past the mountain so the Box was shaded and cool, and amazing.  It boosted my spirits and made me feel hopeful and purposeful again.  

We saw a little snake and another deer, and we methodically made our way down this stretch of canyon and back into Phantom Ranch.  I learned a hard lesson about GPS in the canyon.  I had been watching my watch and mentally making notes on distances.  But what I learned is that GPS in the canyon is unreliable at best.  What took us 13 miles one way took us 15 miles the other.  That's called canyon distance and you just shouldn't rely on your watch.  Lesson learned.

We pulled into Phantom and the feeling I felt most was excitement. From this point, its 11 miles to the top.  That's it.  The final stretch.

 

R2R2R: North Rim to Manzanita

We honestly did not spend that much time at the North Rim.  It was just enough time to reset and re-envision how we were gonna get back across the canyon.  As we started back down the mountain all I could think about was how nice it was to use different muscles.  I mean the body is truly incredible.  you can be absolutely exhausted and then go a different direction and the body just finds its power again. Good thing too because we had 25 miles ahead of us, I still felt building blisters on my toes, and the fatigue was beginning to settle in the muscles.  Thankfully the next 13 were downhill.  Hallelujah.

Now on our way down we were able to stop and take a moment at the Cococino Outlook.  You truly can see forever up there.  In fact, you can actually see all the way to San Fransicso!  I admired it on the way up, but just simply couldn't stop the momentum I was holding.

Back down through the Suppai Tunnel.  Simply astounding that somebody or somebodies carved the trail through this rock face.  HOW?

The steep descent was tricky on tired legs.  I am so thankful I learned to run and move with poles.  They really are a godsend!  I was so excited to see that red bridge and was really looking forward to walking down the cliff face again.

Unfortunately, the wind picked up with ferocity.  It was unreal.  I mean walking on tired legs down a cliff face is one thing, walking down a cliff face on tired legs with insane wind gusts is a whole other story.

Bob and I kept yelling at each other to fall to the right!  The wind kept gusting and gusting.  It was a hard stretch.

Distance in the canyon is so unmeasurable.  With so many switchbacks because of the vast elevation change, you can see your rest stop and just feel like you are never, ever, getting closer to it.  Honestly that is how I felt at this point.  We could actually see the Manzanita rest area way down below and every corner we went around we were being met with crazy wind, hot sun, and more steps.  As we pulled into Manzanita, this cyclist below was just starting the 5+ mile trek to the top of the North Rim.  He looked absolutely exhausted and asked,  How many more steps are there?  Oh buddy.

 At Manzanita I was really feeling the blisters.  There was just no denying the reality of them.  So now as I moved forward, the goal was to really work to not exacerbate them or compensate so much that I caused problems elsewhere.  At 30 miles I was starting to feel everything!  

R2R2R: Manzanita to the North Rim

Alright.......guys, excuse my language, but real quickly out of Manzanita, the Sh!#@$ got real. Holey moley.  The North Rim is no joke!

I told a friend of mine that it was the North Rim that tested my resilience and strength the most.  The Grand Canyon does not care that you are fit, or that you are a marathoner, or that you are an IRONMAN, it demands respect and takes no prisoners. The North Rim will forever be one of the hardest things I have ever done (and I will probably do it again sometime). 

Rugged, rocky, exposed, it was so big.......and so incredible. 

Before I left, my Momma called me as all mothers would reminding me to please, pretty please be careful and not fall off any cliffs.  I promise Mom, but I had no idea what it was going to feel like to literally be walking on a trail cut out of a rock face, 4 feet wide with a cliff right there.  One wrong, tired step.......well lets just say I remembered my promise real quick!

The climb was big but the views and the trail were so distracting it wasn't hard yet.  In fact, it was a dream, a moment in time that I will forever remember.....I mean is this even real?

We soon crossed the red bridge and the trail took a hard turn into real hard.  The word that most often sprang into my mind as I was working  through all the feelings was relentless.  I kept saying, this trail is relentless, the up is relentless, the rocks are relentless, the sun is relentless......

But so am I.

Bob and I put our heads down and kept moving forward.  When you are climbing miles take forever.  Where once a 3 mile stretch would seem like only a 5k, out in the sun on the North Kaibab trail it easily took the time of a 10 mile run. The top seemed so very close and yet it was so very far away.

We slowly started to get into the pine trees and I kept thinking, Its gotta be right there.  But alas it was yet another nearly 2 miles to the top.  Oh it was hard. Next time I plan on going up the North Rim I am going to train not by running trails, but by doing 500 squats a day, and add weight as I go.  Then top off the training with a week of stair climbing, just hundreds of flights of stairs.  It just kept going up.  I will be honest, I smiled for the picture, but this took a lot of grit and determination not only to get up it, but to not remind myself that I still had to go all the way back and climb up the other side.  When things get that hard at the halfway point, it truly tests those mental callouses.  As an endurance athlete the key thing to do is refocus your mind on the moment.  Control the moment, not the future, and don't dwell on the past.  All that matters is the next step.  Step, and step again, and just keep stepping.

Someday I am going to get another tattoo that says "Relentless forward motion."

Finally, finally the top came into view and we pulled ourselves up over the crest to cheers from the first of our group. The North Rim was closed to traffic so there were only the group of us R2R2R crazies that were up there.  It was really cool to be amongst them.  Halfway, we had made it half way.  Now every step we took was going to lead us closer to home.

And its not every day you see 80 degree temperatures, and snow all in the span of a few hours on your feet!