Don't Stop Believing!

 You know, 4 years ago I got a tattoo on my arms. Believe and Achieve.  I got it the week following my massive IRONMAN victory and I did it while I was still on the high of my achievement.  My Mantra, "The body will achieve what the mind can believe," literally fueled my entire training journey on the road to IRONMAN. That journey was HARD.  I knew that the high I was riding was going to come crashing down and that there was no way I could maintain that physical peak so I committed and tattooed it on my arms knowing that there was going to be a moment....or many moments when I was not going to feel as capable as I did in that season.

So time for truth telling......I have not felt that physically capable since that time in 2016.  Its okay, promise.  IRONMAN was really incredible, a top of the mountain life changing high, but honestly it completely trashed my body.  I didn't recover fast or really well after that long standing exertion.  My body did what I believed it could, but not without consequences.  Following that recovery process I of course managed to injure my foot causing long standing nerve damage and pain through the right side of my hip and leg.  The bottom line.  You can believe all you want, but the body DOES HAVE LIMITS.  Our belief in our ability is what fuels us on to greatness, but when we push, there ARE consequences.  Unfortunately we are not invincible.

So lets talk Grand Canyon.....Its in 1 week and following my 50k training event my body has ridden the struggle bus of recovery. My right side nerves in my hip down to my foot are acutely aware of the pounding and physical demands I am asking of it.  Am I going to finish Rim- to Rim- To Rim?

I absolutely want to.  I believe I can do it.  I know that I can walk that far. It is absolutely possible and I am absolutely going to give it my all.  The difference though is that I am more aware of my body and its limits this time.  Determined to do this well, but honor my body.  I'm in a good space.

Yes, I still wonder if I did too much, or not enough to complete this adventure.  Its easy to compare myself to other athletes who's bodies have held up far better and who have been training triple the amount that I have.  I am determined to stay in my own lane and mind my own self, but its hard.  My mind is a super ultra marathon runner and triathlete who can run any distance with any group, crush goals, and constantly be doing the next big thing.  My body is not.

The past few weeks have been simply working on getting the blisters healed, the nerves calmed down, and the body happy before I enter the canyon.  I have not run more than 8 miles at a time and have taken several days off with most of my days spent in the yoga studio.

But I am determined, we are determined, to attempt this adventure because honestly, we may never again find ourselves 2 weeks away from the attempt.  Rim to Rim....absolutely will do again.  R3? Never say never, but probably not.  

We both have a humble appreciation and an authentic understanding of just how big it is, and just how human we are.  Looking forward to simply allowing the experience to be whatever it is and soak up all the beauty along the way, come what may, and come what won't.

I won't stop believing in the impossible and am clinging to the belief I held during IRONMAN that the body WILL achieve what my mind can believe.

R3 HERE WE COME!