The Nutcracker

I know the Ballet isn't for everyone but I cannot tell you how excited I was to finally be at the stage where we can take our girls to go and see The Nutcracker!  All of these traditions that we are beginning to establish.  SO MUCH FUN!

Every year Ballet Arizona puts on a Kids version of the classic.  Basically they have taken the 3 hour epic dance and boiled it down to about 1 hour and 45 minutes.....intermission included. I absolutely loved it.  Ballet is so moving to me.  Maybe its because I understand the athleticism and focus of it all.  Dancers are spectacular.  Lily was mesmerized when she wasn't absolutely confused in the story.  Evie was a perfect angel for the first half.  The second half was a whole lot of whining that this was "Boring." and "When will it be over?"  Boy how glad I am that it was the shortened version!

The show director was BRILLIANT though, because right in the middle of the second act this little number below came out and broke up the "boring" with interactive clapping and crowd play. This lovely lady of hearts had Evie giggling and clapping and all of us smiling.

There is just nothing like sharing fun experiences with those you love.  I am definitely looking forward to making The Nutcracker part of our holiday traditions....and one day maybe we will be able to experience the whole beautiful thing.

There is Always Hope

This post is gonna be real.  I'm in a real place and feeling a lot of real things.  My foot injury has become such a weight around my spirit. This is so hard.  Everything that I love to do for myself has been taken from me.  I can't run, I can't swim, I can't bike, I can't do yoga......I know......so much CANT.  Its not like me.....I get it.  But its real and true.  In a cast I CANT do those things.  I have been to the gym, attempting to work my upper body, but the reality is this.......my poor body is off, off balance, off kilter, and even attempting to "work out" is creating other pains. Months of limping and now a literal weighted immobilized joint has left my body and my spirit handicapped.....and there is no end in sight.

People keep telling me, its just a "season," "this will pass," "you will heal," "this won't last forever."  I hear them, but I also feel and my foot is screaming louder than them.  I just dont understand.  Why will this not heal?  Even after 3 weeks of being completely immobilized I still feel pain in the joint, its still not right, I still can't run.  Why, WHY won't this heal!!!

Our medical system sucks.  I should have had the MRI 4 weeks ago, but my doctor was given wrong information about my ability to get it done.  I filled paperwork out incorrectly.  No I don't have an implant!!!!  I tried to give him the information, but the nurse taking my call communicated incorrectly.  He sent me for a CT Scan......it showed nothing.  "Why didn't we do the MRI, Bethany? A CT Scan won't show anything."  Um, because I told your staff I filled the paperwork incorrectly......and you sent me to do a CT scan. "So you can have an MRI?" YES......I told your nurse that!!!  "Oh, well lets just cast it.....we really needed that MRI."  I KNOW!!!!!

Now I have to get the MRI that I should have gotten 4 weeks ago.  WHY?  Why is this happening like this? 

I told you....real.

My hope has been dwindling.  As I look into 2019 I don't know what to hope for.  I have no races on the books, I have no personal goals except to walk, WALK, with no pain.  My how far the IRONMAN has fallen.

I know I am more than an athlete, I KNOW.  I know I am a mother, and a wife, and a friend, and a photographer.  I KNOW.  I know I am more than my physical body, I KNOW.  I know that Jesus loves me and that there are other things in life worth pursuing, I KNOW.  But I LOVE to run, I LOVE to bike, I LOVE to swim, I LOVE to do yoga, and hike, and run with my girls, and ski, and play!  I can't do any of it right now........and I wake up every day, put my foot down, and remember.......I still can't.

Bob and I decided to rewatch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy this Christmas and I am amazed at how timely it is.  So much darkness, and fear, and uncertainty......and yet one single thread ties the whole epic story together........HOPE.

And today, in the words of the Great Aragorn I will cling to the belief.....

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.

The Greatest Showman Spectacular!

If you have not seen The Greatest Showman, You have not experienced the BEST movie entertainment.  Its got it all guys, JOY, Music, LOVE, Music, PEACE, Music, and HOPE!  It is simply the most uplifting piece of Hollywood that I ever did lay my eyes on and we Longmires LOVE IT!!!!

This year they brought it back to the theatres for a few really special engagement time.  They brought in circus performers, included popcorn and soda, and made the viewing experience a "Spectacular" one!  Last weekend we were fortunate enough to go with Nathan, Erienne, Kayla, and Faith!  So much fun!

The movie is just the best and we all enjoyed every second!  

Our weekend finished with some good ole fashioned light seeking and cupcake decorating.  Its the most spectacular time of the year!

We Have Been Restored

Life is such a ride.  Its such a story.  Everyone wants to be part of a grand adventure, and yet we all too quickly forget that life, living, and day to day happenings are what make the grand story of our life a good one.  The highs, the lows, the wins, the losses.  Its all part of this plot starring us.  Sure, some of those plot lines we wouldn't have chosen, but when you embrace your adventure and all the detours it takes.....life is beautiful.

Three months ago, we had a pipe burst in our hall bathroom effectively flooding half of our house.  All the floors,and baseboards had to be gutted from about 50% of our house, and our hall bathroom vanity was toast.  After all of the renovations Bob and I have already done (well Bob has done), so much of it was destroyed and we found ourselves living on concrete.

While the demolition to our lovely home was hard we are ever so blessed to live in a rich society with insurance coverage.  All of the damage was covered many times over and our home was going to be on the path to restoration.

I am ever so grateful that I married an incredibly capable and handy man.  He put all of our floors back together and stepped in to help the Contractors whenever they needed him. It was a long waiting and scheduling process, but as of 2 weeks ago, our home has been completely restored.

The girls have been amazing throughout this process and the promise of a new room kept their anxiety at bay.  They slept on the floor in a picture-less room for 3 months and we only had a few moments of tears.

Our insurance money (and Bob's willingness to pitch in his sweat equity) afforded us the opportunity to completely redo their room and make it extra special.  I won't lie......seeing this room come to fruition is what helped me feel fully restored.

My girls now have a room and a space that delights them and has lead to many hours of play and planning.  

Our home has been restored and a rainbow has come after the storm.  Another adventure in our story comes to a close and we look forward to the next plot line.......here's hoping its one with a little less water.

I Keep Choosing JOY

So I know you all are wondering, "How's the whole being in a cast thing going, Bethany?"

It's going, and I find myself finally at full acceptance about it. Wow has this foot been an interesting life detour.  After I cried myself silly for not being able to get an MRI, the Doc scheduled a CT Scan.  It literally showed nothing of major consequence, and without the MRI the only deduction he could make is that it is soft tissue damage. The way to healing? Complete non-weight bearing for a minimum of 3 weeks.  So 1 week ago I willingly subjected myself to a toe to knee cast. 

The first 3 days  were incredibly difficult. I don't love restraint and the reality that my foot is non moving for 3 weeks was completely overwhelming. This is hard.  All for a toe......A  TOE!  And not even a broken one.  

But......life is not without its humor and I have found myself a bunch of silver linings......  

I ride these through the stores now and my girls think I am "THE COOLEST MOM EVER!"

My dog traded me in for my husband, and Bob is LOVING running again! (Its super sexy)

My girls have become amazing helpers including wheeling me around the house, getting me wine, and giving me back rubs!

I have become the gym heroine.....and most high maintenance member.

I got to have an unbelievably fun and snarky time in IKEA with one of my BEST FRIENDS.  She had me and her little...... it was fun (don't let her face fool you).

I get to have my family with me as personal assistants and private photographers on photo shoots.

And I got a scooter cart to move around a little easier.  I won't lie, this little thing has put a smile on my face so many times!

The brightest star in all of this though is that I have been given the gift of joy this year. True joy, a deep contentment and happiness even though my circumstances are not what I hoped.  My heart is glad, my heart is hopeful, and the future is bright.