Frances Terrell - Her Legacy Remains

I have tried numerous times to figure out how to best honor my Grandma's memory here on this blog.  Words seems so small for such a great lady.  I have started and stopped, written and rewritten, only to find myself back to what I said during her memorial service.  The Lord placed the following words on my heart at 5AM one morning a week ago and I truly feel there is no better tribute than this.  Enjoy her.  She was a special woman.

Grandma Terrell was above all a woman of great faith,  She loved her Lord, she knew Him, she walked with Him in the garden and she sought after Him.  Grandma's faith wasn't something ethereal.  It was real, tangible and part of her.  You could not know Grandma without constantly being brought to the feet of Jesus.  I believe that above anything else she could have wished for her children and grandchildren, a relationship with Jesus was paramount.  She new that to love Jesus was life, hope and eternity.   She knew she could not make the choice for us either and so with great fervor, she prayed.  I always knew that Grandma was a woman of prayer, but it wasn't until I discovered her prayer journal that I was completely overwhelmed with the realization that Grandma prayed.  Constantly, passionately, humbly and for each and every one of us by name.  She prayed that we would find hope and know purpose.   She prayed that we would love our spouses.  She prayed  that we would pass tests and make right choices.  But above all, the prayer that is laced through nearly every one of her entries is a personal plea to the Lord on our behalf, “Lord, please let them know you, please let them love you, You are the only thing that matters.  I pray for their hearts.”  She knew that the best thing she could leave her family was a life of relationship with Jesus.  It meant everything to her.

In addition to her love for the Lord, Gran Fran loved her art.  I think she understood, in more ways than we knew, that the Lord had gifted her and to use her gift was a way of worshipping and honoring her Lord.  She painted constantly, prolifically and elegantly.  We all know this too because each and everyone of us have something or multiple somethings that Grandma made.

She put everything she had in her art, every single piece is laced with love.  Her art is one of the most precious things to me, a legacy that will forever have a permanent place in my home.  When I look around and see her art I am humbled and reminded of how important it is that we use our gifts, often and excellently.  There is no measure of time constraints and life happenings that should hinder the use of our gifts.  We all know where we are gifted, honor her by using them.   Be as prolific in your gifts as she was in her art.  

Frances Terrell was a woman who understood gentle strength.  Although she would never have called herself a leader, she was.  Her life was lived in service to her family and her community, a lesson we should all take to heart.  Grandma understood that true leadership meant sacrifice.  Selflessly laying down her life for others, serving her family, loving when many were unlovable, teaching with grace and respecting others differences.   She recognized that this kind of sacrifice didn't make her weak, instead made her the strongest pillar of our family.

I challenge the men in our family to look at this aspect of Grandma's character and take it to heart.  Leadership is not bombastic or loud, it is not arrogant or self seeking.  It is humble, gentle and demonstrated by having  a willingness to always consider others more important than yourself.  To honor Grandma's legacy, live the way she did, by laying down your life for others, by loving your spouse above reproach, and by serving your family in humility and gentility.

To the women of this family, we have big shoes to fill.  Very big shoes.  Frances Terrell was the epitome and essence of a true lady.  She lived a lady and left this world with as much grace.  She was elegant, classy, and beautifully feminine yet a fierce and passionate woman.  She was a woman that took pride in her role as a wife and a mother.  She took great care with her home, great care with her appearance and took great care to be sure that her children reflected her heart.  She loved selflessly and always gave 100% of herself.  She knew when to be quiet and she knew when to speak her mind.

Ultimately, she knew that relationships are what matters, but she also knew that they don't come easy.  They don't just happen because you're family.  They require work, sacrifice, unconditional love and in many cases, and utter ability to leave yourself completely out of it.  Have you ever considered that every single person in our family had a real relationship with her?  That each one of us had a deep meaningful connection to her?  That isn't just because she was a nice lady and the matriarch of this family.  No, it is because she WANTED a relationship with each of us even if it meant putting her desires, thoughts and feelings beneath ours.  This is the challenge that I extend to us as women and co leaders of our families.  If we desire to honor Grandma we must be women, wives and mothers who love our families by laying down our lives and prioritizing relationships over our own selves.  In the end that is how we leave our own legacy that fits with what Grandma left us.  

While many would consider Grandma's death on New Year's Day to be a rough start to the year, I just don't see it that way.  Honestly, Grandma is going to have the best year EVER.  But family, we are too.  2013 is bursting with new life.  The Lord is blessing and growing our family in the form of precious babies we grandkids will be welcoming into our lives. Chase and Beth Malin will welcome Elly Katherine this coming February,  Nathan and Charity Terrell will welcome Lexi Jeannine in March and Bob and I will welcome our second little girl Evie Frances in June.  I can think of no better way to honor her than by raising these women to follow in Gran Fran's footsteps.

Before I go I wanted to leave the final entry that Grandma wrote in her prayer journal.  It is powerful and lists things she felt were valuable enough to be remembered.  She wanted these things part of her life.  Listen to her heart, hear her voice tell you what matters and lets be sure that what mattered to her matters to us!

1. People are far more important than schedules.

2. Wen you find yourself in spiritual desolation and your faith in crisis, get WAY out of your comfort zone! Then you can really see how dependent on God you really are.

3. When the illusion of "control" fades and you realize the ONLY thing you can control is your attitude, joy in the Lord becomes the most important aspect of life! Prayers, smiles and the simple pleasures become the "riches of life."

4. You cannot necessarily drown in your own sweat.

5. The "stuff" I thought was so necessary is just "stuff" and can be lived without.

6. Rest is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

7. Language is only a small part of communication.

8. Being physically hungry is good for your soul.

9. When the Word of God is read in a language you do not understand, it can still pierce your heart and fill your soul! The same for prayer.

10. Taking time to be in a relationship with people is KEY in life, busyness detracts from relationship with people!

11.  Depth in relationship happens much faster in the absence of luxuries and thrives in a simpler life style!

12. Live in the moment without judgement.  Even when you think you have all the facts.  You don't!

13. Don't take yourself so seriously and know how to laugh at yourself and your silly human antics.

14. I'm not responsible for anyone elses "stuff" and no one else is responsible for my "stuff," but LOVE truly does cover a multitude.