Why Daddies Matter to Little Girls

Its no secret, Daddies are important in a little girl's life.  I know this because, well, I am one of those little girls.  Growing up it was so important to know that my Daddy loved me, thought I was pretty and spent time with me.  Even though Dad was a pilot and gone many days at a time, he still made me feel special when he was home.  I mattered and I knew it.  I now realize that the decisions that I made and the ability to get through much of the hard "stuff" that girls go through was dramatically connected to my Dad's presence in my life.  My Mom was so vital, but there was just something about my Daddy.  Mom's can tell their daughters that they love them and that they are beautiful until they are blue in the face, but when Daddy does it, BOY, its big.

When Bob and I discovered that we were having a girl I instantly began encouraging Bob with how important his role would be.  I just couldn't stop sharing with him how important being Daddy would be.  One of the amazing things about Bob is that, he listened, he heard, and he is now an amazing Dad for our little girl.  He loves her, its evident in every moment with her, and everything he says.  He never misses an opportunity to tell her he loves her and NEVER misses a chance to tell her she is pretty.  It is huge and his presence in her life is vital.

So Dads out there, if you ever doubt the need for your presence in your daughter's life let me tell you a story:

Last weekend, my husband took me out on a date.  Before we left Lily, Bob told her that he was taking Mommy out on a date, but that the next day he would take her out on a Daddy Daughter date.  He told her once, just once.  The next morning I went into her room to get her and the first words out of her mouth as she stood up in her bed was, "I go on Daddy Daughter date!"  She continued to tell me that it was her time to go on a date with her "prince."  Until they left she reminded him constantly, "Daddy Daughter date." Look at her joy when it was time.

It matters guys, and had Bob not followed through, it would have left an impression on Lily that would have lasted a lifetime.  Never doubt how invaluable you are in your daughter's eyes. You matter....BIG TIME!

For Better or for Crazy

You know, when two people stand up in front of all of their friends and say, in one way or another, "for better or for worse," it is usually so much easier to see the better and be completely unaware of the "worse."  Maybe not completely unaware, but with the aura of love surrounding the happy couple, "worse" is kind of an unknown.

Well, just as Bob and I have, you discover quickly that "worse" can come in all shapes and sizes.  Lately, it has been in the form of pregnancy craziness.  The hormones that overwhelm your body during pregnancy are simply unbelievable and will make even the most sane of women feel, think and act COMPLETELY crazy.  This is where I am right now, Crazyville, USA.

This weekend has been kind of unreal.  I truthfully feel sorry for Bob.  He is such a trooper and such an incredible guy, but there has got to be moments where he has thought, "Wow, where did my sane wife go?"  I have cried, then laughed, gotten angry at really small things, been moody, irritated, annoyed and not to mention nauseous, oh, then I have cried again.   I've fallen apart again and again, only to take a nap, wake up, feel nauseous and start the whole process over again.  One minute I love watching myself get bigger, and the next I feel so fat and wretched I just want to sit and cry, or laugh, or cry.  Running is just not easy anymore, which totally affects my psyche and makes me feel like I will never feel good again.   You can see, the Crazy train has entered the building and I am on it.  Poor Bob.

Through all of this though, I am simply overwhelmed at my husband.  He is so gracious and loving and remains as always the stable rock that I can hitch my Crazy train to.  Thank Heavens.  I am utterly thankful that when he said "for better or for worse," it also included an insanity clause.

Dear Evie

Well sweet little girl, we are here at week 20 and I thought it was high time for me to write you your first letter.  This blog has been a special place for me to talk about our family, your sister Lily and now you.  I love you precious girlie and today I am so anxious to meet you.

Unfortunately, I have been sicker than sick with you in my tummy.  Don't worry, it is a good thing, its just hard for me.  With your sister I was done vomiting around week 18 or so and I woke up yesterday over the toilet.  It's hard to imagine that you are still 20 more weeks away!  You aren't supposed to come out until June 14th, so be sure you stay cooking until then okay?

You are growing like crazy and my tummy keeps getting bigger and bigger.  Both your Daddy and I have felt you move and I seem to feel every little turn and tumble that you do.  You have gotten so strong that sometimes I can see you move!  Its amazing little one.  As you get bigger, it seems that every muscle in my body is starting to stretch out.

I am still running, but I have to go slower these days.  You see, every time you grow, I do too!  Even though you are still super tiny, I weigh 10 more pounds!  WOW, huh?

Everybody is very excited to meet you, and your big sister Lily has already told me that she wants to teach you about horses and how to go hiking in the mountains.  She loves you  A LOT!

There is so much for us to do together Evie Frances.  So you keep growing!

Love
Mom

Frances Terrell - Her Legacy Remains

I have tried numerous times to figure out how to best honor my Grandma's memory here on this blog.  Words seems so small for such a great lady.  I have started and stopped, written and rewritten, only to find myself back to what I said during her memorial service.  The Lord placed the following words on my heart at 5AM one morning a week ago and I truly feel there is no better tribute than this.  Enjoy her.  She was a special woman.

Grandma Terrell was above all a woman of great faith,  She loved her Lord, she knew Him, she walked with Him in the garden and she sought after Him.  Grandma's faith wasn't something ethereal.  It was real, tangible and part of her.  You could not know Grandma without constantly being brought to the feet of Jesus.  I believe that above anything else she could have wished for her children and grandchildren, a relationship with Jesus was paramount.  She new that to love Jesus was life, hope and eternity.   She knew she could not make the choice for us either and so with great fervor, she prayed.  I always knew that Grandma was a woman of prayer, but it wasn't until I discovered her prayer journal that I was completely overwhelmed with the realization that Grandma prayed.  Constantly, passionately, humbly and for each and every one of us by name.  She prayed that we would find hope and know purpose.   She prayed that we would love our spouses.  She prayed  that we would pass tests and make right choices.  But above all, the prayer that is laced through nearly every one of her entries is a personal plea to the Lord on our behalf, “Lord, please let them know you, please let them love you, You are the only thing that matters.  I pray for their hearts.”  She knew that the best thing she could leave her family was a life of relationship with Jesus.  It meant everything to her.

In addition to her love for the Lord, Gran Fran loved her art.  I think she understood, in more ways than we knew, that the Lord had gifted her and to use her gift was a way of worshipping and honoring her Lord.  She painted constantly, prolifically and elegantly.  We all know this too because each and everyone of us have something or multiple somethings that Grandma made.

She put everything she had in her art, every single piece is laced with love.  Her art is one of the most precious things to me, a legacy that will forever have a permanent place in my home.  When I look around and see her art I am humbled and reminded of how important it is that we use our gifts, often and excellently.  There is no measure of time constraints and life happenings that should hinder the use of our gifts.  We all know where we are gifted, honor her by using them.   Be as prolific in your gifts as she was in her art.  

Frances Terrell was a woman who understood gentle strength.  Although she would never have called herself a leader, she was.  Her life was lived in service to her family and her community, a lesson we should all take to heart.  Grandma understood that true leadership meant sacrifice.  Selflessly laying down her life for others, serving her family, loving when many were unlovable, teaching with grace and respecting others differences.   She recognized that this kind of sacrifice didn't make her weak, instead made her the strongest pillar of our family.

I challenge the men in our family to look at this aspect of Grandma's character and take it to heart.  Leadership is not bombastic or loud, it is not arrogant or self seeking.  It is humble, gentle and demonstrated by having  a willingness to always consider others more important than yourself.  To honor Grandma's legacy, live the way she did, by laying down your life for others, by loving your spouse above reproach, and by serving your family in humility and gentility.

To the women of this family, we have big shoes to fill.  Very big shoes.  Frances Terrell was the epitome and essence of a true lady.  She lived a lady and left this world with as much grace.  She was elegant, classy, and beautifully feminine yet a fierce and passionate woman.  She was a woman that took pride in her role as a wife and a mother.  She took great care with her home, great care with her appearance and took great care to be sure that her children reflected her heart.  She loved selflessly and always gave 100% of herself.  She knew when to be quiet and she knew when to speak her mind.

Ultimately, she knew that relationships are what matters, but she also knew that they don't come easy.  They don't just happen because you're family.  They require work, sacrifice, unconditional love and in many cases, and utter ability to leave yourself completely out of it.  Have you ever considered that every single person in our family had a real relationship with her?  That each one of us had a deep meaningful connection to her?  That isn't just because she was a nice lady and the matriarch of this family.  No, it is because she WANTED a relationship with each of us even if it meant putting her desires, thoughts and feelings beneath ours.  This is the challenge that I extend to us as women and co leaders of our families.  If we desire to honor Grandma we must be women, wives and mothers who love our families by laying down our lives and prioritizing relationships over our own selves.  In the end that is how we leave our own legacy that fits with what Grandma left us.  

While many would consider Grandma's death on New Year's Day to be a rough start to the year, I just don't see it that way.  Honestly, Grandma is going to have the best year EVER.  But family, we are too.  2013 is bursting with new life.  The Lord is blessing and growing our family in the form of precious babies we grandkids will be welcoming into our lives. Chase and Beth Malin will welcome Elly Katherine this coming February,  Nathan and Charity Terrell will welcome Lexi Jeannine in March and Bob and I will welcome our second little girl Evie Frances in June.  I can think of no better way to honor her than by raising these women to follow in Gran Fran's footsteps.

Before I go I wanted to leave the final entry that Grandma wrote in her prayer journal.  It is powerful and lists things she felt were valuable enough to be remembered.  She wanted these things part of her life.  Listen to her heart, hear her voice tell you what matters and lets be sure that what mattered to her matters to us!

1. People are far more important than schedules.

2. Wen you find yourself in spiritual desolation and your faith in crisis, get WAY out of your comfort zone! Then you can really see how dependent on God you really are.

3. When the illusion of "control" fades and you realize the ONLY thing you can control is your attitude, joy in the Lord becomes the most important aspect of life! Prayers, smiles and the simple pleasures become the "riches of life."

4. You cannot necessarily drown in your own sweat.

5. The "stuff" I thought was so necessary is just "stuff" and can be lived without.

6. Rest is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

7. Language is only a small part of communication.

8. Being physically hungry is good for your soul.

9. When the Word of God is read in a language you do not understand, it can still pierce your heart and fill your soul! The same for prayer.

10. Taking time to be in a relationship with people is KEY in life, busyness detracts from relationship with people!

11.  Depth in relationship happens much faster in the absence of luxuries and thrives in a simpler life style!

12. Live in the moment without judgement.  Even when you think you have all the facts.  You don't!

13. Don't take yourself so seriously and know how to laugh at yourself and your silly human antics.

14. I'm not responsible for anyone elses "stuff" and no one else is responsible for my "stuff," but LOVE truly does cover a multitude.

Her Name

This month has been a month of emotional highs and emotional lows.  The hardest part of the past 30 days has been the loss of my precious Grandma Frances Terrell.  Simply put, I miss her.....

But the Lord is never far from His children and He is a God of hope.  Whenever life comes to a close the Lord always brings new life somewhere else.  There is no greater example than my family right now, and me most of all.  I always knew that I would loose my Grandma someday, but never figured it would be at a time of discovering new life inside of me.  That is why I can think of no better name for our new little one then......

Evie Frances Longmire

Let me introduce you.

Celebrating Elly Katherine

For those of you excited, no, that is not our little girl's name, it is my soon to be "niece."  My cousin Chase and his lovely wife Beth will be welcoming their little girl into the world next month and this past weekend we got to shower them with people, food, love and gifts.  What a day it was.

After the race in the morning I headed over to the house we were hosting at and spent the afternoon with all of my co hosts setting up the stage for the celebration.  It was wonderful.  I just adore my family!

It is so special to celebrate in big style and let me tell you, we held nothing back.  It was a couples shower which was an absolute blast and we had a chili cook off of sorts.  4 different, yummy, chilis and all of the fixins.

My mom went all out on the cheese and cracker/veggie trays completing them with little mice that scampered about.

So cute right?  Cake, cupcakes, gumballs and plenty of sugar to keep us all wired and happy for hours.

Heather Malin had this fantastic idea for a "game" and instead of doing something awkward, she made papers with all the alphabet letters on them.  We all drew on a different letters throughout the night and we put the book together for Elly's first alphabet book.  What a fun thing.

There were so many wonderful faces to see and catch up with, including Beth's Mom and Sister who flew in from Missouri.  The afternoon was simply wonderful and such a blessing to celebrate with the Malins.  Girls are just the best!

Dearest Elly,

You are so loved sweet little girl.  Your family thinks the world of you and we simply cannot wait to meet you.  You already have several cousins that are ecstatic to play with you.  We are a big family, but we love each other lots.  You are special little one!

Love ya!
Aunt Beth