Our Quiver is Full

"Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in ones youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127:4-5

When it comes to children in Christian circles there is a huge controversy.  Is it godly to limit how many children you have?  Furthermore, is it godly to even be on birth control?  Should we really have babies until God "closes the womb?"  What if you choose to be childless? Will you not experience blessing?

These are all questions that every Christian couple has faced.  Growing up, my best friend was the oldest of 11 children.  Their family was amazing, God fearing, well behaved, organized and an incredible testament to Christ.  Her parents felt very strongly that God opens and closes the womb and that they would have children until God designated them to stop. I always struggled because I didn't feel that way.  I wanted desperately to be a mother, but I knew I didn't want 5 or 8 or 10 or 15 kids.  Was that wrong?

Since becoming a mother I have come to a peaceful place on this topic and I want to share with you why we are choosing to have only 2 children and why we feel completely sure that our quiver is full.

God did something amazing when He created us.  He created us real.  We live in a real world with real consequences.  Have sex.....you can get pregnant.  Continue to have sex.....you can continue to get pregnant.  Simply put.  But parenting and parenting well doesn't come as easily.  It takes a lot of energy, a lot of effort and a lot of sacrifice to raise one child well, let alone multiple children.  And, lets face it, you cannot parent well unless you, yourself are healthy and whole.

For me, being healthy and whole is not something I gain solely from mothering.  It is something I gain from my relationship with the Lord, my relationship with my husband, my physical well being and my fellowship in community.  If mothering steals from these things, I begin to loose myself and become unhappy.  When I am unhappy, I am quick to anger and slow to forgive.  My children and my husband suffer.  Aside from the ability to reproduce, the Lord has given me brains and the ability to recognize this in myself.  How could I simply ignore it and bear more children?

Carrying and bearing children is hard work.  Consider a woman's body like a field to be planted.  If she is whole and satisfied, her children will grow and thrive.  If she is tired, lonely, dry and weary, her children will grow, but will be untended and neglected.  If she is angry and empty from giving beyond her capacity, her children will grow but the weeds of her own self-neglect will choke out the life of them.   Plant seeds and they will grow.  Put them in overused, exhausted soil and the fruit they bear will suffer.

For us having a full quiver doesn't just mean having numerous children.  It means having children and being whole in mind, body and spirit.  It means being passionate and satisfied in our marriage.  It means being full and whole as a daughter and son of Christ.  It means being strong and filled enough to parent our children not only well, but Divinely.  It means having enough of ourselves to be able to give without going dry.  It means loving life completely, joyfully and wholly.

For Bob and I we are happy, we love the Lord, we love our children, we are madly in love with each other, and we love our life as a family of 4.

For us.....our quiver is full.