Just not Today

So I have wanted to blog for a few days right now, but I have so many things going on in my head that I can't get organized enough to get them out.  I am utterly discombobulated lately and feel essentially like I am a little lost in this new version of my life.  I want to talk about everything from how I am feeling to what Evie is doing, to what Lily is doing, to what is happening today, but all of that just seems exhausting! At some point I will have to figure out how to be Super Mom, but not today.

Little Evie is so precious and so different from her sister.  For one thing.....she sleeps!  It is like a new world to have a baby that eats and then goes right back to sleep.  I am eternally grateful for this because I am getting good sleep at night.  Praise the Lord!

I think ultimately what has been the hardest is balancing the quiet peaceful nature of my Evie against the loud, noisy, high energy nature of my Lily.  Was Lily ever so quiet?  In this time of recovery I have found myself overwhelmed and in a space of wanting quiet peaceful moments.  It's normal, I have heard, but its hard to imagine what our new norm is going to look like right now.  Thank the Lord for Grandma Jill.

This go around I feel much more confident in my mothering abilities.  It is amazing how different the second baby is.  Evie and my nursing relationship is phenomenal.  In fact, she has gained a POUND in 1 week and 3 days.  No worries there.

Lily, when she can hold still long enough, loves to hold baby Evie and watch as we change her diaper. She has really been an absolute doll and is such a good little girl in spite of her toddler inclinations.  She has spent a lot of time with her Grandmas.  I was absolutely stunned to see that she is now riding horses by herself and trotting too.  When did she grow up?

I am discovering anew why "they" tell you not to move at the end of your pregnancy.  The moving part wasn't so hard, its all of the things following moving that are super stressful.  Wouldn't you know it....I have to change our address......on everything.  Speaking of everything, what is everything?  New vendors, new services, new accounts........I had all of this memorized........now I have to change it all.  We have got to change our health insurance now that we have added a new member, oh yeah it all has to be done before the end of the month.  Then of course there is still laundry, remembering to feed my toddler and my husband oh yeah and me, while there is a baby needing to be fed.  I want to have a life outside of all of this, but have no idea at present how to get there.

That all being said, I try to focus every day on the fact that right now all that matters is my babies and Bob.  Everything else can wait.  It will be there tomorrow exactly where I left it, but they will never again be where they are today.  Each moment is fleeting and I just don't want to miss it.  Yes life has to go on, and I will have to figure out how to do it all, but just not today.