I sat down at my computer today to catch up on my normal stuff, bills, phone calls and Facebook to find that not 1 or 2 but 3 of my pregnant friends have had their babies in the past 2 days. For those of you curious to know, 2 were due after me and one before. I really am happy for them but oh did it make me anxious for Evie Frances to come out.
While I am technically not due yet, everything about my body is telling me the baby is coming. I will have days where I am just convinced she is going to come early and then other days where I am for certain she is going to stay in her little oven forever. I know, irrational, but this last stretch before the finish line seems to ddddddddddddrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggg on and on and on......
I've been stewing over this post for a couple of days now. I remember being at this stage with Lily and writing a post about all of the things I wanted to remember about my pregnancy with her. Last night I thought of the title for this post while praying over this pregnancy, "Help me remember Lord about .......... but PLEASE let me forget about......." Allow me to let you eavesdrop into my conversation.
"Lord, help me remember how incredible it was to take that pregnancy test and see it positive AGAIN. The impossible is always possible with You. Let me forget that I knew I was pregnant because I started vomiting at 5 weeks....in Las Vegas......on what was supposed to be a much needed vacation.
Help me remember how exciting it was seeing this little baby for the first time at 13 weeks and hearing her heartbeat, but let me forget how much frustration we had getting insurance coverage when everyone denied us. Let me also forget how frustrating medical bills are!
Help me remember how much fun it was to run races with my "Running for Two" shirt. Everyone thought I was bada** and I felt like I was. Let me forget how frustrating it was to have to give up running because of the pain.
Help me remember how special it is to have another girl and be able to name her after Great Grandma Frances. Let me forget that Grandma died before knowing she had a namesake.
Help me remember how masterfully You created my body and how beautifully it creates life, but Lord PLEASE let me forget about the endless days and hours of nausea and vomiting.
Help me remember how wonderful having numerous ultrasounds was. What an amazing thing to see her so tiny and then so big. Let me forget the uncertainty and worry connected to each one.
Help me remember how active Evie was, constantly moving, hiccuping and squirming. Let me forget the desperation of watching a loved one suffer the unimaginable pain of a stillborn.
Help me remember how perfectly perfect You have formed this precious life and the grace given to me to weather the pregnancy, let me forget the doubt I had that I would ever make it to the end.
Help me remember Lord, but please Let me forget.
Amen"
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