Two years ago, you and I sat at a marriage conference. It was good, and hard, and so necessary. Our marriage was rocky and hurting and felt dark. Our last "project" for the weekend was to write each other a love letter. I couldn't do it. There was nothing love note-ish about how I felt, and all I could think to write was.......
This sucks....but I still love you, Bethany.
Not very romantic. Through tears I remember confessing this to you and with no judgement you told me that I didn't have to write it. You also asked that one day, when I felt like I could, when things were better between us, I would consider writing it.
My love, these last 2 years have had some of the darkest times in our marriage. You and I have wrestled and languished through some shit (there is no other way to say it) and at times, its been awful, dark, lonely, and so not what I wanted our marriage to be. You and I have had to battle with self and sacrifice and baggage and parenting and everything in the middle pulling us in every direction but towards each other
BUT we also know, through true battle, that a strand of 3 cords is not easily broken. We have pulled and strained and yet through the power of Jesus and our unwavering commitment to each other our marriage has not broken. We have waged war and won.
How eternally grateful I am to have chosen you as my comrade. How grateful I am to have fought and be fighting side by side with you. You and I finally understand that marriage is a battleground, just not the one where we kill each other. No, our battle is against the evil one and the darkness he brings. Our battle is against fear, selfishness, doubt, discontent, frustration, anger, and indifference.
And you my love have always had my back.
I am truly in awe over you. There are few men on this earth that can love a woman like you can. Even in my hardest times, even in your worst, you still love me with your whole self. I never doubt your love and commitment to me.....never. You do not waver, and even in the storms you are stalwart. Yeah.....that's sexy. You are also an incredible father. A wildly imaginative, daring, bold, fun, and empowering father. It is insanely attractive and at times I just look at you and feel all the things. The way you love is intoxicating. How honored I am to have had your babies.
Our 15 years have not come without challenge, but you and I are here, in this place so beyond "in love". I literally want more of you and more of us because honey, we are good together....damn good.
I love you. I choose you. I honor you and the man that you are. I believe your intentions are good. I believe that you are a man seeking to be like Jesus. I believe that even in our worst that you are a man seeking to love me intentionally, fully, passionately, and deeply.
You are the stone in my tumbler, and you are everything I ever wanted.
All my love,
B
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