Balance

This idea of balance has been really on my mind this year.  Maybe its because I am wrestling with health challenges, exercise, nutrition, 2 jobs, mothering, and all that jazz, but the idea of "balancing it all" sits at the forefront of my mind a lot.

The other day I watched a popular Mom blogger and You Tuber do an interesting video about balance.  Instead of interviewing random mothers, she walked up and down streets stopping Father's with their kids and asking them the simple question that we women hear all the time, "Sir," she said, "how do you balance it all?"  Most of the men queried responded with confusion followed closely by a "what do you mean?"  You see, this question is a mostly woman derived question that has become like a weight of potential failure we have placed around our own necks.  Men have potentially just as many "plates" in the air as we do and yet, this question is rarely posed to them.  They don't wear it like a weight, and measure each other up under their ability to walk the tightrope.  But for some reason...we do.  Why?

When did the idea of balancing it all become such an important thing?  More importantly, if you are like me, the idea that there is this elusive moment where everything is supposed to be balanced and working is laughable.....and crazy stressful.  It seems that everything needs to be in balance these days. Work/Life, Kids/Husband, Me Time/Family Time, Friend nights/Date nights, exercise/rest, carbs/proteins, weights/cardio.......shoot, even your gut bacteria has to be balanced! (more on that later).

This idea of balance is suffocating......and we keep dwelling on it.  We keep seeing women who seem to have it together and going, "Wow, how do you balance it all."  I for one am going to tell you....If you have said that to me......I honestly have no idea. Am I balancing it all? I guarantee you, something is always off balance. I may be on the tightrope, but at pretty much all times I am leaning precariously on one foot desperately trying to not fall while kicking my leg, shaking my tail, and trying to wipe the sweat off my face.

And quite honestly....every other woman feels it too.

This life is a wild, crazy, unbalanced life, and instead of striving for balance maybe we should strive for something else. There is not 1 person ANYWHERE who actually has it all balanced perfectly, and those who appear so are simply ones who have learned keep swimming in the chaos.

Have you ever been to a yoga class and for some reason that day is all about balancing poses.  You have done these before and can totally balance, but that day you just can't find your zen.  You weeble and wobble and tip over and fall, and find yourself looking in the mirror and chastizing internally, "damn it, why cant you balance today!" Get too focused on it and you can leave that yoga class full of anger and self loathing.......AND THAT IS THE GREAT METAPHOR.

So on this very belated Mother's Day (because well........life),  I want to encourage us to stop focusing on balancing it all and instead focus on finding peace in the storm. Living life in the now and embracing the unbalance.

There will be times where it will be easy to find your zen, and times where you feel lost in the chaos.  Some days you win, and other days you crawl into bed going......."I did not win today." 

So how do you balance it all?

You don't.

You seek peace inside of the storm.

You wake up and live and say yes sometimes and say no other times.  You accept the areas of failure, and embrace the moments of success.  You wake up full of joy one day, and wake up full of fear the next. You trust one day and doubt the next. You spend all of your time just right one week, and then leave people, a job, your kids, or yourself out the next. You stop measuring your balance, and embrace dwelling in the unbalance. 

You LIVE, and living is a beautiful mix of unbalanced-ness.