The Weeds Still Grow

I thought of the title for this post a while ago and laughed at how cliche it sounded.  Weed metaphors are so common.  Perhaps it is where I am in my life right now, or perhaps it is because we spent the entire weekend last weekend cleaning up our yards, but weeds have been on my mind a lot lately.

When I brought our garden home I put all of my pots out on my patio so that 1. they would be easy to water and 2. they wouldn't sit on any weeds.  I was proud of myself for conjuring up a plan to limit my weed exposure.  As I have tended and watered my plants, my eyes have been opened to the harsh reality that, no matter what the weeds still grow.  Weeds have sprouted up through cracks and along the edges of the patio.  Thick weeds have now grown to surround my little plants.  All of the extra water that has fallen on the ground has watered the weed roots too.  Even unintentionally, the weeds still grow.

As I sat there pondering the reality of this I couldn't help but think of my life and the space I am in right now.  The "garden" of my life is growing, but so are the weeds.  Mothering is not easy right now.  Lily is testing every limit, every boundary and using me as a target for every piece of naughtiness she can think of.  Its hard, disappointing, frustrating and discouraging.  Especially when all of this is served with a side of poop in the pants nearly every day.

Evie is doing well, but still tends to be fussy at just the wrong times.  Have her home, she sleeps quietly and peacefully.  Try to have a coffee date or adult conversation with a friend, she screams.  Again, its hard disappointing, frustrating and discouraging.

If Motherhood and parenting is a battlefield, I am most definitely down in the trenches covered in mud, poop, vomit and yes, a little blood. I'm told "this too shall pass," but constantly find myself wondering if it will.  I just want to know, when does this mothering thing get fun again?

Weeds come in all shapes, depression, anger, self doubt, fear, indifference and loneliness.  If my heart is a garden, I am working on overtime these days trying to keep the weeds from prevailing.  If there is one thing mothering is teaching me is that NEVER in my life have I needed God more.  I am eternally grateful that I have a Gardener who is not afraid to be in the trenches with me getting His fingers dirty pulling my weeds.