The 13th Month Al-Cute-ah Hijacking

Breaking News! Al-Cute-ah strikes again! Just when we thought that we had prevailed against the organization, Osama Bin Lily came out in full force by attempting a 4 hour plane hijacking!


I was debating whether or not to continue a monthly baby update and I think that I will through her second year. Some day when Lily looks back on this I think that it will be really neat for her to see her monthly trasformation. This year, however, I will do a monthly blog on the 6th and talk about whatever needs talking about whether good, bad or somewhere in between as Lily enters toddlerhood. Today I am going to share with you the epic journey that we took home from Colorado!

So for those of you who read my blog, you know that Colorado brought out a new side of Lily. She was just aweful during the nights. Most of the time she was just so cute that it really took all of us by complete surprise, hence the Al-Cute-ah title. Well, I had no idea how powerful this little terrorist was until we got on our flight home. Now, normally, Lily is AWESOME on every flight. Albeit there are some tears and fuss, but overall she has done exceptionally well. Lily has been dealing with some cough/snotty nose gunk for the past few weeks so I was expecting a little drama with the altitude change, but nothing like what I got! WOW, she brought out a whole new side of naughty!

Lily and I loaded onto our little airplane and headed to the back of the bus last Saturdya. We got into our window seat and I prayed that it wouldn't be a full flight. Thankfully it wasn't, but a sweet college girl got stuck in the aisle seat of our row. In retrospect I should have second guessed her choice to sit there, but how was I supposed to know that she would be subject to the drama that would ensue? While we were loading Lily was a busy, busy girl, touching this, pulling that, crawling over there, pulling up on those, smiling at them, jumping on Mom, banging on the windows and talking up a storm. She has also started to hit by flailing her arms in all directions, she especially likes my face (an action which has gained her many a spanking.......remember the nose piercing? OWWWWW) So in an effort to provide some entertainment, while waiting on the tarmac, I gave her the security information card to look at. For a mere 5 seconds she sat still on my lap. Ahh, a break. Then, in one swift body thrusting, arms flailing move she managed to fling the card at my face and successfully jab a corner of it into my eye. Instantly I knew I had a laceration to the cornea and the pain was nearly unbearable. Mind you, we were still sitting on the tarmac and my child was still acting as crazy as ever. The flight hadn't even begun!

We sat on the tarmac for 45 minutes before the pilot said that we were headed towards our runway. They made us go to the farthest runway causing us to taxi for 15 minutes out to our lane. I was so annoyed and convinced that we were going to drive there instead of take off and fly. Oh this was going to be a long night! Well, we finally got airborne and Lily started to fuss. Oh boy did she start to fuss. As tired as she was she just would not slow down. Now remember, every time I blinked it was like fire in my eye, my eye was constantly crying and my nose was running all while Lily was slapping at my face, arching her back and filling the airplane with screams. In a desperate attempt to get her to calm down I put her to my breast (I really don't have much milk, but I was hoping that it would be comfort to her). There, she was quiet and content...ahhhhhh........then OMG! Lily bit me!! And she didn't just bite me, she bit and held on. I tried to pull away and couldn't. I had to flick her face for her to let go which of course amped up the screaming. So much for comfort. I was loosing body parts one at a time. For the next hour and a half I fought this battle desperately hoping that she would give up and SLEEP. After an hour and a half she started to sleep sitting up on my lap. She would lay on my shoulder, almost sleep then wake herself up by sitting up, fall asleep sitting up, fall back on my shoulder then start the whole cycle again. LILY. GO. TO. SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!! She just wouldn't do it. Then all of a sudden I felt heat on my legs. YUP, she had peed through all of her clothes and made me look like I had wet my pants. There in the middle seat we had to strip her naked and change everything while screaming and being half blind with pain.

Once changed, we fought each other for another 30 minutes before she FINALLY gave up and fell asleep. I dared not move even though my foot was asleep and one of my butt cheeks was numb. SHHHHHH, SHHHHHH, no I don't want peanuts, no I don't want water and no I don't need anything else. SHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I laid my head back in a desperate attempt to rest my eye to no avail. When we touched down and arrived at the gate several passengers stood up and gave me the once over. One guy even commented that you have a "little trouble maker" on your hands. YEAH, YA THINK? I was not in a good mood.

I love my daughter, but when we got off of the plane I went straight out to the curb and handed the terror to her father. I was done, off duty, DONE. It was an epic 4 and a half hour journey that gave me a cornea abrasion, pee pee pants, bite marks on my chest and a test of patience that would challenge even the most patient of people. Al-Cute-ah is still in full force and continues to strike.