My Love Letter

Dear Bob,

Two years ago, you and I sat at a marriage conference.  It was good, and hard, and so necessary.  Our marriage was rocky and hurting and felt dark.  Our last "project" for the weekend was to write each other a love letter. I couldn't do it.  There was nothing love note-ish about how I felt, and all I could think to write was.......

This sucks....but I still love you, Bethany.

Not very romantic. Through tears I remember confessing this to you and with no judgement you told me that I didn't have to write it.  You also asked that one day, when I felt like I could, when things were better between us, I would consider writing it.

My love, these last 2 years have had some of the darkest times in our marriage.  You and I have wrestled and languished through some shit (there is no other way to say it) and at times, its been awful, dark, lonely, and so not what I wanted our marriage to be.  You and I have had to battle with self and sacrifice and baggage and parenting and everything in the middle pulling us in every direction but towards each other

.  You and I now fully understand how a wedge that drives in separates quickly.

BUT we also know, through true battle, that a strand of 3 cords is not easily broken.  We have pulled and strained and yet through the power of Jesus and our unwavering commitment to each other our marriage has not broken.  We have waged war and won.

How eternally grateful I am to have chosen you as my comrade.  How grateful I am to have fought and be fighting side by side with you.  You and I finally understand that marriage is a battleground, just not the one where we kill each other.  No, our battle is against the evil one and the darkness he brings.  Our battle is against fear, selfishness, doubt, discontent, frustration, anger, and indifference. 

And you my love have always had my back. 

I am truly in awe over you.  There are few men on this earth that can love a woman like you can. Even in my hardest times, even in your worst, you still love me with your whole self.  I never doubt your love and commitment to me.....never.  You do not waver, and even in the storms you are stalwart. Yeah.....that's sexy. You are also an incredible father.  A wildly imaginative, daring, bold, fun, and empowering father. It is insanely attractive and at times I just look at you and feel all the things.  The way you love is intoxicating.  How honored I am to have had your babies.

Our 15 years have not come without challenge, but you and I are here, in this place so beyond "in love".  I literally want more of you and more of us because honey, we are good together....damn good.

I love you.  I choose you. I honor you and the man that you are.  I believe your intentions are good. I believe that you are a man seeking to be like Jesus. I believe that even in our worst that you are a  man seeking to love me intentionally, fully, passionately, and deeply. 

You are the stone in my tumbler, and you are everything I ever wanted.

All my love,
B

Universal Studios

Our day following the Space Center was a blast.  Bob and I headed to Universal Studios Orlando for a day of coasters and fun!  

The Islands of Adventure is a pretty big place so we just started at one corner and decided to walk the whole thing.  We started at The Hulk and aptly finished there too.  Big bad roller coasters are so much fun!  Especially with your boyfriend! :)

It was an especially great day too because Grandma Jill RETIRED!  We have been waiting for this day for many years and while we were standing in line for the Superman ride, she finished her last day as a Chicago schools social worker.  The woman deserves a medal, and some thumbs!

My favorite part of the Universal Studios parks is the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.  The entire world spans over 2 parks.  We ended up on the Hogwarts side and I told Bob he could ride the rides but only if I could tell him what everything was :)  We are hoping to read the entire series as a family and I CANNOT wait for all of us to experience all of the Wizarding World.

I love my husband, and I especially love doing really fun things with him.  Our trip was wonderful and time spent sans kids was special.  Looking forward to the next trip!

Kennedy Space Center

A few years ago our little family got the chance to visit the Kennedy Space Center.  Our girls were little and not as interested, but Bob LOVED it and I determined that I was going to come back one day without kids so that I could love it too.  When Bob and I knew that we were going to have a few days out in Florida, we made it a priority to spend a day at the KSC. I was so excited and the day was life changing. 

You know, when you are married, you want to invest your time in your spouse and as you grow in your years, sometimes the things that delight you individually aren't ultimately a mutual love.  Bob LOVES space, and NASA, and Space X and while I think much of it is interesting, I don't LOVE it like he does.  Part of that is also my fault because I don't invest my time learning enough.  I haven't ever taken the time to differentiate between the Mercury, Apollo, and Shuttle missions.  They all run together, but this time I decided that I really wanted to engage and learn.  Without kids to constantly push and rush I wanted to slow down and  listen, and the experience was probably one of the top 10 in our marriage.  Yep, it was that good.

We started the day in the rocket garden.  We had so much to do so we just started at the very beginning.  Seeing some of the replicas of old rockets was a great way to start the day, but I really didn't have any connection to them and I remember thinking, "Cool, but these aren't THAT big."  As we were walking through, a volunteer "astronaut" stopped us and told us to head straight to the bus tour and out to the Saturn V viewing center.  Given that we had no agenda, we listened and headed straight to the buses. 

This experience was utterly magical.  There is just no way to understand the incredible things we have done in the area of space travel, there is just no way to explain and transfer the magnitude of it.  The bus tour took us out to all of the infamous launch pads and by the VAB.  I have seen this building in movies for my entire life and driving by it, actually being within a half mile of it was absolutely cool.  The picture doesn't translate well, that building......ITS MASSIVE.  This is the building where all of the rockets are assembled before the Crawler (an amazing piece of equipment designed to cart the millions of pounds of rocket and fuel out to the launch pad) makes its journey down that rocky wide road.

39A.  Bob has talked about this launch pad and I will admit, I have had no connection to it at all.  Seeing it, realizing all of the missions that have left from this spot, realizing the astronauts that left from this pad that never came home........envisioning the hopes for the future.......I mean the astronauts who walked on the moon left from this pad........

Okay Bob, I get it.  Its really REALLY cool.

After the bus tour we were dropped off at the Saturn V museum where inside they have an actual Saturn V rocket.  Its BIG,  I mean SOOOOOO Big.

There aren't enough ways to describe this moment above......taking this in, realizing the enormity of this rocket.....HOW?  How did we launch that thing into space? and DUDE, did the guys riding at the top have some major brass balls.  90% of this rocket is explosives.........WOW.

But they did it. Our nation did it......but not without cost. 

Our goals were big, damn near impossible, and many people paid for it with their life.  When JFK gave that rousing speech, the one telling the nation that we were going to land on the moon even though we had yet to put a man into orbit within a decade, it started a push.

Apollo I, the very first launch after the moving and inspirational speech was the start of this exciting journey to the moon, we were going, and we had astronauts and engineers and scientists all on it.  Lets go!  

It was a routine test, just a test.  The 3 astronauts were put in the command module and locked in.  It was just a test, but something went very wrong and in the oxygen rich environment, a single spark turned the module into an inferno.  The first design of the doors was created to only open inward.....makes sense in the vacuum environment of space, but with the pressure of a fueled fire building, the doors wouldn't open.  The 3 brave souls answering the Presiden'ts call, died tragically, clawing against the door, while the engineers outside fought a losing battle.  They died, on the launch pad entombed in a raging inferno.....performing a test.

Walking through the memorial, I simply had no words.  Such sacrifice.  Imagine how everyone felt.  We didn't even get off the ground before we tragically killed 3 men, and you still want us to go to the moon?  YES, and now we all wanted it more than ever, for Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger Chafee.  Doing big things comes with high cost.  We now knew this more than ever.

11 missions later, inside of the decade, Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Impossible is simply a lack of imagination.

We spent most of the day living the Apollo missions and I was honestly sad to leave.  The only reason we did is because we still had the Shuttle museum and Atlantas to visit.

I have seen it before, but there is nothing like this reveal........seeing the shuttle up close and personal is still a tear moving experience for me. 

We spent the remainder of our afternoon exploring Atlantis and riding a launch simulation, and remembering the brave men and women who died on the Challenger and the Columbia.  I have so much more understanding and respect for those who believed space exploration was worth the risk.

Doing hard things is always worth the risk, and setbacks will always try to derail and detour you.  I left our time at the KSC enlightened, amazed, honored, and excited.  I also left it personally motivated to find my way past my foot and towards my own big goals.  

So grateful for the opportunity to invest in my husband and live a day beyond the sky.

Evie's Florida Adventure

I have said it before, and I will say it again, we are so blessed with the Grandparents that are in our lives.  Not only for the adventures afforded to us, but simply because we are LOVED, and that is a special thing.

Every year, Grandma and Grandpa Longmire like to have the girls out to Florida, but really like to have them separately.  Last year Lily got to go for a whole week so this year it was Evie's turn and she could not wait.

Evie was especially excited because her cousin Jess was also going to spend the week with her and they LOVE each other.  With only a year between them, they get along like two peas in a pod and the excitement surrounding this trip has been BIG.  Our first stop was Disney World and we had a blast at the Animal Kingdom resort.  The girls picked up right where they left off and were off and funning!

It was especially exciting because Evie and Jess are finally big enough to ride the big Avatar Banshee ride at Disney World Animal Kingdom.  Both little girls are the next in line to go through the Flight of Passage and we have been working diligently on eating this year so that Evie GROWS!  Lordy......Lily takes after her Daddy, but Miss Bee is a peanut who only likes to eat popsicles.  BUT, she did it and was all smiles once she too got to fly like an AVATAR! Both girls got to have a special Banshee purse for their ability to Rise to the Challenge! Sivako!

Then came my favorite part!  Expedition Everest.  I showed Evie a video of the roller coaster to see if she wanted to ride it, "Oh yes Mom, that looks like fun!" So the juuuuuuust barely tall enough Evie took on the big bad backwards and forwards coaster and LOVED IT!

She got off and immediately squealed, "Again, again!" So we did.  In fact, we rode the coaster 3 times throughout the day.  This kid is fearless and I see many more coasters in our future!

We visited a bugs life.....

And rode the Dinosaur ride........

Then we took an ice cream and princess break to meet the adorable Pocahontas.

We finished our day with the Kali River Rapids and the Lion King show.  Gosh I love that thing.  We had a great late lunch and then said goodbye to the kids and headed of on our adventure......

Meanwhile, the girls had a BLAST down in Fort Myers.  The few days that we were gone was spent playing in the ocean, swimming in the pool, eating all sorts of goodies, and having a sleep over every night. 

Evie even conquered the paddleboard.  I had no doubts about her skill. She has seen me do it, and the kid has balance to rival most!

Grandma of course got them matching mermaid outfits and swimsuits, and they each had their own blow up dolphin to play with.  

The girls had a ball making memories and just doing what kids do best....playing.

They even got to go play mini golf one evening and I just love these pictures.  Grandpa worked to teach the girls the skill of aiming, and they each came back with stories to tell.

They especially loved feeding the gators that were on site!

The next day in the morning Grandma and Grandpa took the girls for a kayak tout through the mangroves.  It is busy season for alligators and so the girls weren't completely convinced they wouldn't be gator lunch so the general consensus was, "Mom, that was so scary."  You can't tell from  the photos, and again, memories were made.

We came back from all of our galavanting and met them for a few more days of fun.  We started with lunch at the Bubble Room.  A super old time restaurant that resides in an old beach house.  The nostalgia was great, and the orange crunch cake? Worth every calorie!

We spent the remainder of the afternoon on the beach playing in the water and in the sand.  We spent countless minutes burying the girls and making them mermaids only to "rescue" them and dump them back in the water.  Ah the simple joys of childhood.

The last two days were a blast.  We went jet skiing which was AMAZING!  Bob took photos, but we ended up ruining his phone in the water due to a scratched screen.....so those will just be our memories. One thing I can tell you though, is that the jet ski didn't go fast enough for Evie.  I still have bruises on my calves for holding on to her and Bob over waves and donuts.  Fearless......she's fearless.

There is nothing quite like summer vacations, and we spent our last night at Capone's pizzeria followed by ice cream at 9:30 at night.  It was one for the record books, and we took a very happy, very tired sleeping Evie home.