Nearly three weeks ago, the pastor at our church spoke on the topic of Spiritual Warfare. This topic is one that is challenging to speak about because for some it seems so "out there." Really? There are spiritual forces at work around us? Like demons and angels and all of that? I get it. I myself have wrestled with the validity of such a belief for much of my own spiritual journey.
But time and time again, I have been shown that it is real and active and that there is darkness all around that threatens to press in. When Jesus says to "be a light on a hill," and that He is a "lamp unto my feet," He addresses this darkness. We are commanded to Let our light shine, because the darkness.......ooooooo it presses.
I know this first hand because of the week my family has had. Darkness and fear are real, and the battle for the light is raging........but let me step back.
So......I am injured, and having to deal with a bunch of personal insecurities. I am having to let go and let God, and its cathartic, and hard, and awful, and beautiful. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. It has given me time to get out of my own self and open my eyes to others.
Which brings us to a week ago. One of my dear girlfriends is battling stage 4 cancer. She has beaten the odds, but is still in the fight for her life, and she shared with all of us that one of the medications proven to kill her cancer the best, has had all regulations changed and is no longer covered with insurance, or may not even be available locally. As if the Lord smacked both of us at the same time Bob and I knew that we were supposed to commit to giving this family the cost of the medication every month. We had long discussions about our budget, and how we could make it work, and without question, we knew our resources needed to go to her. So we committed to each other and to God before I left for CO.
The day after our commitment, Bob calls me in CO early in the morning to tell me that our hall bathroom has a leak and has destroyed the flooring and other furniture in half of our house.
Its a BIG mess, he had to demo half our house, things are ruined, and dollar signs are adding up. As he is telling me this, all I can think about is the reality of spiritual warfare.
I have injured my foot giving me dark insecurities, the day after we commit to giving a significant amount of money indefinitely our house floods, and our deductible is $1000? I honestly felt that dark spirit audibly say, "see Bethany, you can't afford to give money away. You need to keep it for yourself to fix your house, plus you're injured and can't do what you want to do. What if you need further medical care on your foot? What if you have to live on concrete floors for a really long time? No, don't give your hard earned money, just keep it. You need it."
Guys, in 5 seconds, the spirit of the Lord, the Light in the darkness fell over me, and I said outloud, "Dude, not today Satan, NOT TODAY! I am not afraid, I have been called to give and to obey and if my life becomes inconvenient or hard for it, then so be it! I am not afraid of what life has dealt us."
Something amazing happens when you obey out of trust and stop simply reacting out of fear. The Lord multiplies your blessings, the Lord SHOWS UP! Not only have we been able to give the money, but my dear friend Sarah matched the gift doubling Ashley's cancer fighting efforts this month. The contractor is allowing us to work off our deductible meaning that we will have nothing out of pocket for the remodel on our house, and the outpouring of friends willing to do our laundry, take our kids, bring us beer, or tell us they love us has been IMMEASURABLY OVERWHELMING. Jesus is real and active and moving. GOD IS NOT DEAD. I have been held and loved and supported by the hands and feet of Jesus.
Our life is full of hard unplanned stuff right now that, if we let it, will overwhelm and produce a dark cloud over our life. The urge to hold onto every ounce of control, of money, and of self is calling.
We however, will not fear, God has not left and has shown up in more ways than I can even enumerate. When life is uncertain, hold on to less and give away more. Be obedient to what the Lord has called you to. For the richness of life comes in the blessing of watching one act of obedience multiply.
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