I would not have made that statement a month ago. Lordy.......some stuff happened guys, and I am gonna try to share in the hopes that maybe a tidbit of my story can help you with yours.
What a long and sometimes arduous journey this return to complete health has been! I have been on a hormone, internal health recovery road ever since I finished IRONMAN and am learning how delicate our bodies truly are. They can do INCREDIBLE things, they are capable, they are strong.......they are also very breakable and they will break if we push them too hard for too long. Our bodies are also different and diverse and while one can push to high limits without big consequences, another cannot. Welcome to the crap shoot of genetics.
Last time I talked about this part of my life and journey I was on natural progesterone and taking adrenal support, digestive support supplements, and drastically altering my diet to remove stuff that my body was "sensitive" to. I was experiencing improvements, but still pushing my body to train for a marathon, and dealing with enormous personal stress. Then in November when I bailed on the marathon and took a huge step away from all things racing I basically stopped all of the progesterone and supplements under the faulty assumption that I didn't need all that support anymore since I was not training........
HA.......
.....and I plummeted. I experienced the worst period/cycle that I have in a long time. I was so foggy, irritable, depressed, angry, tired, wired, bloated and MISERABLE. I have never felt so outside of my body and flat out CRAZY. Everything was awful. The world was dark. I cried EVERY DAY. I was weepy and insanely emotional. I was a walking bomb......it was awful. I was so lost in my misery I couldn't even make a decision about getting help. Bob made me call my doc and make an appointment.
So I went and my Doctor reminded me that healing takes time and that it was critical that I stay faithful to the supplements and natural hormones that she had given me.
I have been on a roller coaster this past year and I am more and more convinced that my internal health and future ability to withstand training and racing depends greatly on educating myself and attentively and intentionally supporting my body. I am NOT one of those people who can push and push without consequences and unfortunately, my inner workings are more delicate than I ever thought. They are dramatically influenced by stress and impacted by sustained intensity.
So I am back on my supplements and natural hormones while also working with my coach and friend, Dawn, to get my nutrition on par to support all of my systems. I am learning the dramatic effect protein has on hormones, brain function, and metabolism and realizing that I have never eaten enough protein. I am re learning the idea of balanced eating and ensuring that carbohydrates are part of my fuel. I am keeping my cardio to only a few days a week and incorporating yoga and structured strength training. I am learning how to manage my stress and working to understand my body's limit between stress, training, nutrition, and life.
As women, our bodies are incredible, but they are complex, they are cyclical, and they are dramatically impacted by our lifestyle and the stresses we face. Trust me, I KNOW, and while I would never have thought I would deal with all of this, I am, and I am learning to embrace it, learn from it, and recognize that life is meant to be lived fully, and unfortunately, I am NOT invincible.
If you are a woman, and feel out of control with your emotions, digestion and weight you are not alone. If you have ever felt crazy......I mean seriously crazy, or been depressed when you aren't a depressed person, or have felt foggy and distracted and simply trapped inside of a body that doesn't feel like yours.....YOU are NOT alone......and you ARE NOT crazy.....Don't be afraid to ask the questions, and don't ever think that you are destined to be "miserable." Whether an athlete or not, women's lives are full of stress and logistics, throw in motherhood and WOWZA......life's version of a never ending IRONMAN.
Don't ever rest on your quest to be a healthier and wholer you. Love yourself enough to fight for it. You are worth it.
Here's to your health and to mine!
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