Marching into April

Our March shaped up to be a rather busy month.  Sure...we are always busy, but between trips to Texas, visiting family members, Bob's birthday, training, Spring Break and photography, it was March 1st one day and the 31st the next.  I have to say, my goal for this year has been to live abundantly.  It would appear we are nailing that!

One of of our neighbors came by earlier in the month and we told them that we had family visiting.  "Again? Wow it seems like you  always have visitors!"  I remember laughing....its true.  We have a lot of people who love us and want to be a part of our lives.  I love it.  I am thankful for it.  This year Great Grandma Joyce moved down to Phoenix from Iowa and I simply love that my girls have a Great Grandma to experience and have a relationship with.  I miss Gran Fran terribly, but am blessed the Lord gave us Joyce.  

Aunt Sue and Aunt Linda have also been a fabulous addition to Grandma Jill.  Its really cute, my girls call them all Grandmas.  They LOVE when Grandma Sue comes with Grandma Jill.  Its all just so much fun and they have so many people that just want to lavish love on them.  Bob and I especially love the visitors because it means we get to go on date nights and actually train together!  How fun.

We have of course, continued on with more house projects.  One day I promise to do another Longmire Remodel post.  I really promise!  Our list for our home is still growing, but I think we are finally in a break time (oh wait....we still need to finish painting the interior.....).  It has been such a fun process to submerse ourselves in making our house our home.  I love our space.  I am truly home.

During Spring Break we discovered the AZ Science Center.  We really have so many wonderful places to explore down here in AZ.  It may be hot, but there are so many fantastic ways to stay cool and have fun.  I am really looking forward to exploring the Center more as we get into Summer.  Thank heavens for places like the Science Center, Children's Museum and Zoo.  Without them.....I would quite literally pull my Summer hair out #mychildrenmuststaybusyALLTHETIME!

We finished our March out with a lovely Easter.   Our pastor gave such a poignant message and I was once again hit with the resolve to live life abundantly.  We have been set free by the cross and given the immeasurable gift of grace.  I want to live like a prisoner set free! 

We had the fabulous opportunity to reconnect with all of my AZ family.  We don't see them very often, but when we do its always a treat.  We took a kid picture with all of our kids and it hit me....I have the oldest in the bunch.  Look how big and beautiful Lily is. 

We are marching on into April with, a boatload of expectancy and an abundance of hope.  Just me and my peeps......doing our thang.

Journey to IRONMAN: 8 Months

To all my Friends and Family,

8 Months.  My IRONMAN is a mere 8 months away.  I have so much to do and every day it ebbs closer and closer.

Marathon season is over for me.  I focused and trained to run at my peak and did it.  I have had 3 weeks of recovery time to find my legs and focus again.  TRI season is upon me and this week marks the beginning.

The beginning of my training for IRONMAN.  How fitting that all my gear just showed up.

I cannot truly put into words how excited I am to BE HERE.  IRONMAN has been a long sought after dream.  I have waited years to start training and now I sit at the start doing my best to stay focused on the moment and not on the whole elephant.  I have a lot to do.

I am now coming face to face with the endless amount of meters I still must swim, the countless miles I must put on Lady Dash and the long road I must run down.  Even greater though is the weight of the sacrifices I must make.

A wise friend of mine said the following quote, "Yes you can do anything, but you can't do everything."  How true this is.  I know, without doubt, that I can finish IRONMAN, but it will absolutely require sacrifice.  There are simply not enough hours in the day, nor energy remaining to do it all.  So something is going to have to give.

Which is why I am writing to you.  You my friends and family are going to be my greatest sacrifice over the next 8 months.  I just simply don't have enough to be all that I want to be for you.  When you call.....I may not answer.  When you text I may never remember to respond.  If you email me, it may take longer than usual to hear back from me and shorter than I would normally write.  When we do connect our conversations may be short and distracted.  Forgive me.  I may have to turn down your invites again and again.  You may see my family more than you do me.  Forgive me.  I know the weight of my choice.  I just have to do this.

But know without question that I think of you often.  You my friends and family are always on my mind.  Whether you reside in North Carolina, Colorado, Oregon, Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, California or Illinois, know that you reside quietly in corners of my heart.  I think about you in the solace of the water.  In the wee morning hours of my swims I remember you.  I pray over you with every pedal stroke on my bike.  I have open conversations with many of you while pounding the road and smile as I thank God you are in my life.   I reminisce about conversations we have had and memories we have made.  I look forward to the days when we will make more.  I long to have long one on one conversations with you, but when the time is finally available I must choose my children, my husband or sleep over you.  Don't take it personally, I just have to do this.

In this time of wandering how I am, know that I am good. No......I AM GREAT.  I am pursuing my dream and achieving a long growing personal goal.  Don't worry about me.  Instead. please love on my family.  Be there when I cannot.  Please continue to text.  Please continue to encourage.  Your support will truly energize me during the relentless summer and training hours.  You are valuable to me......every single one of you.  Please don't ever doubt it.

8 months from today when I cross that IRONMAN finish line I hope that you will cheer.  I pray that you will feel the victory because you experienced the burden of the sacrifice.  Having people that love and support you is one of life's greatest treasures.

Thank you for traveling this journey with me.

Bethany

A Letter from Texas

It had been 2 years since I last laid eyes on my dear friend Grace and her family.  She is up 2 more kiddos since the last time I saw her yet still the same delightfully wonderful, depth filled, life giving friend and sister.  I must say....I have missed her.  I am so grateful for the time.  Our time was messed up a bit when her newest little lad ended up back in the ER, but I was ever so thankful that I was able to help on the homefront and get to know the 3 other kiddos that fill their home.  While I was disappointed not to have her presence in mine, I had this really neat opportunity to get to know her hubby Sebron a bit more.  I don't think I have ever just really had the chance to talk with him.  I was blessed by it.......I'll take whatever Jessup I can get.

I have thought about how I want to blog about my time out on the range and actually feel my heart telling me to pen a letter to my girls about a few things my trip revealed to me.  They may not read this for many years so for now you my family, friends and followers can.

To Lily and Evie,

Girls I want to tell you a really neat story.  Its a story about finding confidence, purpose, and hope in the face of unexpected circumstances.  You know how I talk about Grace, Sebron, Jancsi, Laughter, Hayva and Lariat.  I know you don't know them really well, but Grace is one of my dearest and best friends.  I know....I have a lot of friends, but Grace came into my life at a time when everything in my life was about to change.  I was 7 months pregnant with you Lily, and had just moved across the country away from everything I knew.  I needed a friend and one lovely day......Grace showed up.  I instantly felt drawn to her when I found out that she was also pregnant with her first baby.  Some day you will understand.  Grace was my first new Mom friend.  We had this crazy bond that neither of us quite understood, but it instantly drew us together.  I thank God for that moment on a bridge around Lake Johnson.

Grace and Sebron LOVE ranching. They love agriculture and working the land.  I can remember countless conversations listening to the deep seated dream of a ranch life.  Their dream was so big because no one in their family owned a big ranch.  For them to ever live their dream.......they were gonna have to take a big leap out of their comfort zone in Raleigh, NC. When the opportunity to move to a ranch in Texas opened up, through many tears (you see their families lived in NC), prayers and hope they decided to go.  I have never been so proud of them.

You see girls, much like you, Grace and Sebron come from wonderful families with Mom's and Dad's that love them and want to be a part of their lives.  Leaving the security of your family takes a level of guts and bravery especially as a young couple with a new little baby.  When your Mom and Dad have always been the rock that you can cling to when life feels chaotic it is HARD to leave them.  Trust me....I know.  What makes it harder is that sometimes we parents have a hard time letting you go when the direction your journey is taking you is not the direction we had hoped for you.  But your dreams are not ours, your relationships are not ours......your journey is not ours.  And so we too let you go.

It has been 5 years of living out on a Texas range for Grace and Sebron.  Even the hope of a fabulous ranch life has been tossed back and forth in the constant ocean of unexpected moves, job changes, new babies, and sickness.  YET, they have weathered every storm, every change with a few tears, a lot of guts, a bastion of bravery and a constant hope in the Lord.  Their dream has sometimes been a nightmare.....yet, they press on.

They recently had an opportunity arise that would allow them to move back home to NC and closer to their extended families that they miss so much.  It was going to be a lot harder in someways and hopefully a lot easier in others.  So they made the decision to move.  Something started to stir in their spirits though.  Something unexpected clouding the decision that seemed so sure.  After all, the joy and support of moving back closer to family is like a balm on a weary soul.  As their move ebbed closer and closer the still small voice that said to stay grew louder and louder and in an unexpected moment, they made the choice to stay......in Texas.  Their families were devastated......after all, the hope of having them closer was so exciting.  The process of wading through unexpected emotions, the fear of failure, the weight of disappointment and disappointed people has been hard for them.  Man life just stinks sometimes.

As I listened to them talk and heard their hearts I simply was absolutely convinced of 3 very important life lessons that I want to write down and impart to you.  I pray that they will serve you well as you leave our nest and pursue your life.

1. Your dreams and hopes matter.  No, you won't get the perfect version of your dream, life is not a perfect place, but hold onto what drives you and motivates you.  It will give you purpose even when things aren't going your way and you have disappointed others.  Embrace the new turns in life.  Sometimes the perfect dreams you have are nothing compared to the life God has for you.  Accept new change and direction with courage and trust.

2.  When and if you get married you are to leave me and your Daddy and cleave intensely to your spouse.  We ALWAYS want to be a part of your life, but we are NOT your life.  Your life is with your spouse and your children and your community.  We have raised you to go boldly into the life in which Jesus has called you.  If that life includes a spouse, he matters more.  He always matters more.  You absolutely will make decisions in your life that we as your parents may not completely agree with, you are you, you are your family.  Make your decisions, go boldly, seek Jesus and know.....your Daddy and I are ALWAYS on your team.

3.  Manage your expectations.  Know that what seems amazing and perfect and fool proof is not always amazing, perfect and fool proof.  Life isn't perfect.  Even the most perfect of circumstances will come with a barrage of unexpected yuckiness and hardship.  This is life.  Finding contentment and peace in your space is a choice, not something dictated by your circumstances.  I say again.  Contentment and peace is a choice.  Embrace opportunity with hope, but manage the expectation that it will work out perfectly....it won't.  Everything you do in life, everything, will be fraught with obstacles.  Accept it.  The sooner you embrace your hardships, the faster you can deal with them and conquer them.  Do this and your life will be filled with a whole lot more joy and a lot less frustration.  Nothing in life is easy, but sometimes the hardest unexpected things in life are the most glorious, life giving, joy producing, empowering things.  Expect the unexpected and you will find happy.

"Life is a storm my young friend.  You will bask in the sunlight 

one moment and be shattered on the rocks the next.  What makes you a man 

is what you do when that storm comes.  You must look into the storm and shout, 

'Do your worst.....for I will do mine!' 

Then the fates will know you as we know you.......the man." 

~ Edmond Dantes from The Count of Monte Cristo

I love you so much girls and I pray that you will discover and find friendships like the one I have found with Grace.  She is a special woman has taught me a lot about life.  I am grateful for her and her family.  She is a bold woman who is living bravely.

Be as bold and as daring.

All my love
Mom

Journey to IRONMAN: The Phoenix Marathon

I did it!  No I CRUSHED it!  I took my goal of running a sub 4 marathon and did it.......handily.  I quite literally blew myself away.

3:48:27

Oh I had such high hopes of getting this blog up and out immediately following the race, but recovery was surprisingly harder and then I got a stomach bug and spent 2 days in bed. Wasn't the glorious victory lap I had hoped for, but nothing could take away that feeling. I DID IT!

I was so excited to run this race.  I was nervous, but so ready to see if I could really do what I had set out to do.  We went to the race expo as a family the night before the event and had a blast getting into the race spirit.  I just love race expos.  Everyone is excited and anxious and raring to run.  I love it.  The girls ate every sample offered and Evie kept wanting more snacks.  

Our dear neighbors Kim and Lucas offered to watch our girls for the race so we sent them over Friday night and started getting mentally geared up to run.  While all of my pre race stuff was the same, this race felt different to me.  I was actually going to race this one.  Sure the race was against myself and a clock, but I have never approached a marathon like that.  I found myself constantly testing my will, "Can I?"  

We headed out early to the start.  In an effort to not have to ride the bus to the start we parked at a friend's place and hiked through the desert for about a mile to the start.  Not going to lie, the hike to the start was the most stressful part of the day.  3 of our party managed to get Cholla (a nasty little cactus that literally jumps on you) on their bodies or in their shoes.  Oooo those things are miserable.  When Bob got a Cholla in his shoe I was AMAZED at how easily something not planned started messing with my head.  I got this instant nausea feeling and had a second of "well there goes the race."  No.........don't go there. Its a cactus....don't give it that much power Bethany.

We made it to the start right before the gun went off and the clock started.

I stayed in control of my race the entire time.  I had a fantastic strategy that my coach had helped me with, and as we started I was hit with renewed energy.  I CAN do this.  We ran the first 6 miles quite a bit faster than my "plan," but we didn't push.  I felt good.  My goal for the day was to push the entire time.  I wanted to leave it all on the road.  I didn't want to hold myself back if I knew I could hold the faster pace.  AND I DIDN'T.

For the bulk of the race Bob and I held 8:30 to 8:40 pace.  I kept looking at my watch inwardly going "OOO Im going a bit fast, should I slow?.........No.......I can run this.....legs, gut, heart, body, mind......we're good."

I blew myself away because I just got faster.  At mile 21 I left Bob.  As he slowed I self evaluated.  I was tired, my legs were tired, my muscles sore, BUT.....I could run faster.  So I did.  I kept pushing....kept giving it what I had.  23-26 were a big mind game.  I kept repeating outloud, "Your body can achieve what your mind can believe."  I believed I could hold the pace.  Everything screamed to slow, but I kept passing people.   I hit mile 26 and thought how amazing would it be to come in under 3:55.  As I approached the finish line I saw that I was in the 3:40s and the rush I got was simply indescribable.  My coach was there at the end and her excitement at how well I had done pushed me that last .2 and I crossed the line at a 3:48 time. There is nothing quite like achieving a personal goal and surpassing what you thought possible.

I am so grateful for the AZ TRI Club, I am so grateful for my long distance running buddies Bridgit and Katie, I am so grateful for Dawn Brooks (my coach), I am so grateful for the Las Sendas Run, Bike, TRI group and the incredible community of people who all in someway played a role in my success.  It was a day and a race that I will not soon forget.

2016 is my year and I am All In.

Make Up Session

So.........painting got a little out of hand the other day..........

Lily Grace is all into make up, fingernail polish, dresses, high heels and all things lovely, girly and Posh (its a Fancy Nancy word......).  In this little stage of our life any and all paint inevitably wants to find its way to the face......

Im not big on messes.  Having my face painted with Target $3 watercolors is nearly the last thing on my list.  Every now and then I lay it all down and let my 2 year old go to town putting pink watercolors on my eye lids.  They are only this little once.

Lily took great care to be sure I had the proper lip stick while Evie did my eyes.  Upon completion I had every color represented on my face and the realization that my girls might just have a future as a make up artist on a Zombie movie.

We had fun.  I love my girls and am afraid to admit that I don't get down and play often enough with them.  I stress at the mess. Somewhere between my youth and adulthood, I have kind of forgotten how to enjoy making messes.  Its fun to find a moment to remember.

My little Lily is becoming a beautiful young lady and as I looked at her paint colored face the other day I was only too aware that soon it will evenly blend into a gorgeous made up woman.  Her days of making watercolor messes a memory.

Thank you Jesus for giving me little girls who like to dress up and who like to be messy.  Remind me of the beauty in the mess.  Teach me to play, and may the memories we make be the joy that helps them weather the storms of life.