No Where to Go but UP!

Alright, I think I am ready to talk about this foot again.  So many great lessons are being learned here in this place of rest, recovery, and healing.  I am ready to talk about this foot because finally, FINALLY we are on the right path and my foot is getting BETTER.

I will not lie to you, this has been quite possibly the most disheartening, frustrating, and maddening thing to have to deal with.  Why?  Because its "nothing."  Because I have dealt with debilitating pain for months and "nothing is wrong" with my foot.  You see when you have a diagnosis, you have a course of action to take.  When you have no idea what the problem is, how do you know which direction to take?  For MONTHS I have been doing stuff hoping it would help, but nothing brought me anywhere closer to getting better.  Oh has it been dark and has been especially dark when 3 top specialists have no idea whats wrong.

I know what you are thinking.  HUH?  What? 

Here's what we know....... 

Your feet are incredibly intricate. 

You can damage the intricate tissue of your foot and toes and have nothing show up on tests. 

Your muscle, connective tissue, fascia, and toe bones are interconnected and must all work together.

Your feet connect your whole body. 

Your Big toe is CRITICAL for your body function, hurt it, sprain it, pull its muscles too far, and everything falls apart.

Futhermore....

If you strain, sprain, pull, push, or otherwise injure your big toe have it checked and scanned immediately....don't take it lightly.

If there are no breaks stop ALL activity and go to a PT.

Don't spend months messing around with immobility and limping.

DON'T ever think that you can run your way out of big toe sprain.

Big toes take MONTHS to fully heal and the process is SLOW, Painfully SLOW with many setbacks.

So last time I left you I had just gotten the news that nothing was wrong.  After a lot of talking, listening, and researching, I decided to do the cortisone injection to the big toe joint.  While the injection hurt like a bad word, the relief was near immediate. Unfortunately, following the cast and the months of limping, I began to have severe neuropathy pain in the ball and other met heads of my toes.  The word metatarsalgia has  been used. So while the toe was much better, the nerve and swelling pain in the rest of my other foot grew to be excruciating.  The pain in the ball of the foot is directly related to my immobility and foot position in the cast and months of limping.  Remember, your feet are connected to your whole body function.  They are intricate and designed to move and bear weight in the correct way.  Stop, impede, and immobilize that function, problems arise.  

I was so discouraged.  I felt like I just traded problems.  The sharp, twingy, pressure, and aching pain in the ball of my foot has been crippling.  Can't walk, can't bear weight, swimming was a little uncomfortable, yoga nearly impossible.  Everything stopped.  AGAIN, I felt lost in it.

The power of the mind is now the deciding force in whether or not I am going to find my way back to square one.  I have to start believing I am going to be better I have to start claiming it and making daily choices towards its strengthening and mobility. 

But Bethany, what IS going to make it better?

Wearing shoes all the time, TIME, Physical Therapy, TIME, fascia massage, TIME, rest, TIME, more Physical Therapy, TIME.  You get the picture. I have every supplement, ointment, massage oil, and rub and am using them all.

I even tackled a 4 day anti-inflammatory juice fast!  I'm doing it all!

And its working......slowly.  Ask me today and I will tell you that in the past 3 weeks of doing consistent PT, fascia release specific foot massage, supplements, rest, rubs, and meditation my foot feels 20% better.  Its better, its moving forward.......somewhere off in the distance is the end to all of this and the return to all I love.

In fact, I have been so encouraged, that I have a skii date planned for Spring Break, and a 5k race with my girls slated for the end of March. Whether I walk or run it is still in question, but I can currently walk with LESS pain, and I remain confident that there is no where to go but UP!