Tonight as I sit here listening to the excited giggles of my children calling for me to "Come play the slopey couch game, Mom," I am hit once again with the changes happening in our lives and how the seasons are most certainly changing.
I simply don't have that down time anymore. Over the past month, out of necessity, we have taken away Evie Bee's nap time during the day. We got to the point where it was either cranky baby at 5:30 but sound asleep at 7pm or happy napping baby awake until 10PM. We erred on the first one and its been quite the change. With Lily I was always able to keep "rest time" in the middle of the day. I could always eek out 2 hours of down time in which to blog, reconnect with friends, make phone calls and catch up on life's chores. It should have been that same way with Evie, but now we are wrestling with a 5 year old who has sat in school all morning who needs to run WILD all afternoon. Down time? I think not. We are now in this new and interesting phase of no longer having children that need naps. Its just new and kind of disruptive :)
My girls are intense creatures and from 6AM when their light turns green until 7PM it is constant, non stop, constant referring, finding games to play, making forts, cleaning up messes, getting dressed, brushing hair, eating, getting juice......the list goes on.......and that is only everything before 8:45AM when we have to leave for school. They need me, want me, all the time and I wrestle daily with potential regret. Will my kids miss out on me? How do I do it all? How do I play all day, but get things done? How do I do me and our family when all your kids want is for you to be with them playing pirate ship? How do you stretch time?
These past few months have been unbelievably rich in blessings. When not being Mom I have been out training hard for IMAZ, meeting new people and taking pictures.......a lot of pictures. I love, love LOVE what I do. Taking pictures is so satisfying to me. The only downside has been the hours of editing my time with all of these amazing friends has produced. I have been less than completely present with my girls and have traded time editing for time blogging....and time playing. I am learning about balance and with the change in my general daily routine I have found myself smacked in the face with the reality that there are truly not enough hours in the day.
I have also found myself awash with trying to figure out what we want our holiday traditions to look like this year. Amidst all that we are doing on the house and our professional, personal and parenting lives I have just not stopped long enough to really think about it. I now am here on December 24th wondering should we have done "Elf on the Shelf," or purchased an advent calendar, or had an advent devotional. Did we talk about the real Reason for the season enough or did we miss the boat wrestling with Lily's questions about Santa. Speaking of the SC, where do we sit on that? How do we talk honestly without robbing our kids of the fun. We didn't go caroling or get an Operation Christmas Child Box done. We didn't adopt a family this year or even attend Christmas Eve Service. Should it matter? No....all families are different, but its now the day before Christmas and I have been hit with all this stuff that might have deserved some of my intentional thought a month ago. It's been a busy holiday season.......
But........Thankfully I know a Jesus who is more than enough for all of my short comings. I may not blog as much as I would like and my house is most definitely not going in a magazine. I DONT have time to do it all........but I am living and loving and finding my way.
Prince of Peace you are welcome here.
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