Holy Bananas! My IRONMAN 70.3 is in 5 days! Not even a whole week. Next Saturday morning is the day that I have been training for since last October.........It's actually here.
And I am so thankful.
IRONMAN demands so much. It really does. Not only does it demand a constant mental pursuit towards it, but daily training runs and rides and swims. It demands strength building and stretching. It demands a near obsession with fueling and nutrition while requiring sleep, sleep and sleep. Seriously I am tired all the time. Like ALL THE TIME. The amount of hungry and tired I have been over the past 2 months has at times been annoying. It seems that every minute of life is either defined by being in motion, hungry or tired.
That's where the sacrifice starts. My babies.....my husband......myself. These things have all had to sacrifice. We knew it and talked about it before beginning this pursuit, but the months of heavy training reveal the weight of sacrifice something of this magnitude requires. At times I have shed tears wondering if my distance and exhaustion during this time will traumatize my kids. I'm not always there fully. I can't give it all everywhere, after all there is only so much of me. I wonder if I will have regrets. Will my kids remember the victory? Will my husband look on me with pride? or will the littles only remember the countless times Mom left the house or slept instead of read books to them. Will my husband harbor resentment for me and that other MAN in my life. I don't believe so, but to those out there watching my journey, don't for a second believe that I make sacrifices daily, weekly and monthly to do it.
This 70.3 is also a big sacrifice because I am going to be in Colorado on my Little Evie Bee's 2nd Birthday. She's turning 2 and I won't be here. I will be out, pursuing a dream.......my dream. I am grateful because Grandma Jill and Aunt Sue will be here, but the fact remains....I am making this sacrifice to do something that is important to me.
Sweet Evie,
I know that you are too little to care at all that Mom won't be here for your 2nd birthday, but know that I do. I will think about you with every moment that I am away from you. I have chosen to pursue IRONMAN understanding that at times it will take me away from you and your sister. I do it though because finding what makes you happy and pursuing your dreams is always worth it. Always. We will celebrate big when I get home Bee. Mom the Half IRONMAN and Bee the 2 Year Old!
Love,
Mom
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