Love in 50 Shades

This Valentines Day, my Facebook feed is clogged with posts over the controversial "Fifty Shades of Grey" Movie.  Its super sad to me.  I miss seeing everyone's confessions of love for their loved ones.  People are so angry about it, so appalled, so judgy and just so fueled up by Ms. James novel and subsequent movie.  I have been asked to sign petitions boycotting it.  I have been forwarded articles about how we as Christians must stand up against this filth and how in the world could anyone consider reading such material much less go and see the movie.   I have seen countless pictures and postings condemning everything about 50 Shades and I frankly am annoyed.

So here it goes.  I read all 3 books, and yes, I plan on seeing the movie in the comfort of my own home with my husband.

Now that some of you have gotten over the shock let me talk about why.  You see I am not a porn watcher or an erotica reader.  It can be so dangerous and crippling to us as humans and to our relationships, not to mention how sad I think it makes Jesus when men and women are exploited that way.   I don't support the industry.  I was a virgin before I got married and I have been with 1 man.  We have a glorious sex life and don't seek satisfaction anywhere else.  I am grateful for this.

Then Why Bethany?

About 4 years ago, "50 Shades of Grey" started to get some real media attention.  I saw it on the Today show and was FLOORED that erotica made my morning news, and not only erotica but BDSM erotica.  I remember going to my MOPS group at our home church a few days later and sitting at our table when one of the women, who I knew to be a believer, mentioned that she was reading "50 Shades" ....... and loving it.  What?  Out of the 8 women at our table 3 of them were reading the book.  Here we were in church.....talking about erotica.  I truly was intrigued.  If we were in a spiritual place, talking about erotica and sex openly and joyfully (a discussion which is SORELY lacking in the church) over a book, I knew I needed to explore it.  I came home, talked it over with my husband and with his support got the books and began to read.

Now, I am not going to sit here and blog over the defense of the book, but here is what I will say.  So many people, who have not read the book, are touting the book as a misogynistic female abuse novel. It's not.  I guarantee if it was millions of women wouldn't be flocking to it.  Nothing happens in the book that the female is not completely thrilled and satisfied with.  The book is a story of broken people, doing broken things and the power of love through a lot of gray (yes pun intended), mixed with some pretty steamy, kinky stuff. Its EROTICA.

I don't recommend the books.  I am not in love with them.  I don't post FB posts about them and openly yell from the hilltops that I read all 3 books.  I am discussing it here because I have been appalled at how we as Christians have engaged with this franchise.  Do I think you have to wallow in the mud to know its dirty...no.  Do I believe that erotica and porn IN ANY FORM can be dangerous.....you bet, but I also believe that in sacredness of marriage sex can and should be explored in a lot of different ways (I am not going to say any more here).

We as Christians want to make this a black and white issue when its gray. We want to judge this franchise,  and cast stones at the people that read or watch it.  We want to be angry and feel that we are standing up on the right side of something by signing petitions and boycotting.  All we are doing is driving people toward the books and towards the movies without engaging in the real issues all the hype about "50 Shades" has exposed. The saddest part?  We are also driving people away from us and from a Jesus who loves bigger than any "50 Shades."

Maybe we need to talk about sex, REAL SEX, in church and in our small groups.  Maybe we need to quit hiding behind what we think is the perfect "christian" version of sex and relationships and start realizing that we live in a messy world, with messy people who have messy pasts.  Maybe we need to realize that many of the people we want to reach READ EROTICA or engage with porn.  Lets quit thinking otherwise.  No I am not suggesting that we all give up our morals and become porn addicts, but I am suggesting that we should quit casting stones.  Trust me, not one of us is without sin.

God's goodness and grace is here, but if we continually fail to engage rightfully with this stuff as believers and as the church, we are failing our world.

God isn't afraid of "50 Shades of Grey," and we shouldn't be either.  I think its time we stop giving it power and start engaging without judgement.