Find the Narrow Gate

Dear Lily and Evie,

Something very interesting happened this past week and I have felt compelled to write you a letter.  Although you are still young, the issue that arose is one that reflects the world that you are inevitably going to grow up in.  Its important to me that I take every chance I can to teach you about this world we are a part of and share wisdom that I hope will forever be a garland around your necks.

This past week, a high profile celebrity couple, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, casually announced, via a blog site, that they were in the process of “Consciously Uncoupling.”  In the post they went on to share briefly that although they had had a successful marriage for many years and 2 children, they no longer wanted to be a couple.  They had decided to end their marriage and remain as separate individuals.  The media went into a frenzy with this new term this twosome had coined.  “What could it mean?” “Is this the new frontier of the modern family?”  News stations had interview upon interview with marriage counselors and the like helping all of us to understand this new phrase.  As I watched these intelligent men and women justify the action and explain it away, my spirit wanted to just cry out.  No matter how you explain it, its still divorce.  It’s still brokenness and separation, selfishness and sin.  Its NOT God’s best.

And yet…..everyone was onboard with this conscious uncoupling idea.  The couple was praised for their “enlightened approach.”   Somehow it was better than divorce.  Some claimed it wasn’t divorce at all because the couple stated that they were still a “family.” My heart was very sad and angry. How easily and eloquently our society covered the sin and made it acceptable, justified and praised.  How far we have fallen.  

Following the announcement by Paltrow and Martin, a well known Dr. weighed in.  She stood behind this new definition of separation stating clearly that humans were not designed to have life long relationships.  That it’s not natural.  I stopped there in my reading and thought, “I totally agree with her.”  Lifelong commitments do go against our sinful nature, but that is what makes them so special.  Lifelong commitments are the most life giving, empowering, beautiful things, but they are hard and take a daily choice against what comes naturally.  They take a Higher Power.   Divorce is the natural approach when things get hard.  

*Now I am going to take a second and clarify one thing.  While I will stand in opposition of divorce, I absolutely believe that there are times where divorce is a necessary choice.  Abuse is one of them.  Even so, it is NOT God’s best.  It never is….or was…..or will be.*

You see girls, the road of Christ is a narrow one.  Not many people find it and walk it faithfully.  Around every corner there lurks a Master Deceiver pointing you towards the wide path.  He is an expert at using our weaknesses to convince us to stray.  He is an expert at making sin look right. He is an expert at using respected people to influence, at using language to convince.  He is an EXPERT.  Never underestimate him. The wide path is easy, it looks good, it allows you to be selfish and justify any actions you choose. It allows you to take the sorrow of divorce and call it "conscious uncoupling."  It’s alluring girls and you will be amazed at how easily the world will rise up to walk with you on the wide path, but resist at every turn the narrow one.   

Walking the narrow path requires Wisdom.  Seek it out, ask for it, wear it like a garland and keep it close.  Don’t use your wisdom as a pathway to judgment, but use it as a door to show love. 

"My daughter, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion."  Proverbs 3:21

"Know also that wisdom is like honey for you: If you find it, there is a future hope for you and your hope will not be cut off."  Proverbs 24:14

Do not be fooled by this world Lily and Evie.  Guard your hearts, search for wisdom, ask for discernment, be the light in the darkness. Don't cover your sin.  Recognize it, acknowledge it, repent from it and be wise to the ways of the Evil One.  He will tempt you often. You must be strong, you must have courage to live in this world and not be of it.  Know what is right, don’t be fooled by the wolf in sheep clothes.  

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Lastly girls know this.  Jesus came to give you life.  Abundant and whole life.  

"The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy;  I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." John 10:10

Don't be enslaved by the worlds waywardness.  Don't give up the freedom you have in Christ to be ensnared by the trappings of society.  Cling to what is good, pure, noble, right and godly.  Stay humble and walk closely with Jesus.  He loves you more than you can imagine and has good things in store for you.  Wait for them, seek them, and when you find them don't let the world steal them away.

All my Love

Mom

Spring Fever Half Marathon

Contrary to the name, our half marathon last weekend was anything but Springy.  In fact, it was flat out cold and windy.  Jill, Steve, Bob, my girlfriend Sarah and I all headed out to the race and were ever so grateful that we had a car to huddle in right up until the gun went off.

With the temps hovering around 25 degrees and the windchill somewhere below that we all had that brief thought of, "why are we doing this?"  Of course all of us are hard core runners so we didn't really let that thought stew for too long.  We bundled up, gave the littles to Memaw, Papa and Aunt Kathy and got ourselves in the game.  If the weather wasn't cold enough, Bob forgot his running Vibrams so about 20 minutes to the start he decided to go completely barefoot.  Yes, you read that right.  I have the pictures to prove it.

The race was wonderful.  Once we got onto the trail and out of the exposed wind, the temps and running conditions were just perfect.   While Bob did his own thing, Sarah, Jill, Steve and I hung together for the first several miles.  We had been told that the Spring Fever Half was one of the hardest halves with an elevation gain of several hundred feet in last 4 miles of the race.  I saw the map, but until you see it on your legs and lungs at mile 9 its hard to put in perspective.  Miles 9-11 were literally all up hill.  No breaks, just pure elevation gain.  I am proud to say that I ran the entire thing and felt strong.  It was a huge accomplishment to power past over 30 people on that hill.  Thank you jogger and children!

The downhill victory mile made it even sweeter and I pulled in right at 2:08 on the clock.  Jill, Sarah and Steve were right behind me and of course the barefoot wonder beat us all.  The best part of the day though was when Lily ran out to Gramma Jill and they crossed the finish line together.  Lily Bear even got a victory water bottle and cookie!

What a great race with the greatest group of runners!

On to the next!

In the Quiet

It's been one of those hard days today.  There are many reasons; most of which I will not be sharing.  They can really all be summed up in one word.  Life. It brings some of the most joyful and empowering moments, but unfortunately couples with times of great loneliness and disappointment.  I was in my car today shedding a few tears when the words to this song came to my mind.  

In the quiet, love is reaching
It's yours to hold, be still and know that
Even when you're lost and lonely
And hope is gone, you're not alone

Far beyond the understanding
There's a hand that leads
If you believe

Through the darkness, see the light
Remember God loves you

The road ahead is long and winding
With eyes of faith, you'll find the way, yeah
And when the journey leaves you weary
You can rest in the comfort of Heaven's arms
Sweet loving arms

And peace will follow
Peace be with you always as you go
For now you know that

Through the darkness, there's a light
Remember God loves you

When you open up your heart
His love will meet you where you are
He will always be a part of everything you do
He is here to set you free
And give you all the strength you need
To carry on, to carry on

Through the darkness, see the light
Remember God loves you

The life I lead is a beautiful one filled with love, joy and hope, but it also experiences its fair share of disappointment, loneliness and frustration.  

Today is a day to remember that even in the quiet of loneliness God loves me.

Spring Break

So as we enter into the big world of school, Lily is starting to get a taste of how much fun those "breaks" are.  Especially when Gramma Jill and Grampa Steve came for the first 4 days and Lily is going to spend the next 2 days with Memaw and Papa.  That is seriously a kiddo's heaven (Momma's too!)  

Our 4 days were busy, BUSY while Gramma and Grampa were here.  We started bright and early on Saturday with the Spring Fever Half Marathon.  The race was far from Springy, but we all finished with smiles.  More on that later....

I'll tell you, these little girls love their Grandparents for sure.  Little Evie was all smiles with Jill and was simply DELIGHTED with Grampa.  Evie is so into other people these days, and I love that she is so willing to let others love on her.  

Lily kept Gramma Jill very busy with painting, reading, running, stories that Evie got to spend a lot of time with Grampa Steve.  She LOVES him.  Whenever I would be holding her and Gpa would come near, she would literally push away from me to get to him.  It was like she knew he was awesome.  At Lily's suggestion,  we decided to go swimming one afternoon, and as you can see, it was a HUGE hit for the 4 of them.

The time was so short, but we did just about as much as we possibly could including celebrating Bob's b-day with cheesecake and bundt cakes from the Bundt Shoppe, running, swimming, frozen yogurt, breakfast at The Original Pancake House, Starbucks, wagon rides, digging in the dirt,  and of course catching Gramma and Grampa up on Frozen, Tangled and Mulan.  What a fun time!

Journey to IRONMAN: Date Ride

So I have faithfully begun my cycling journey.  I am determined to become a bicyclist and I am super grateful that Bob is an avid cyclist.  Since getting my new bike, Lady Trek, I have been a bundle of excitement and trepidation.  I didn't really grow up on a bike.  To say that cycling makes me uncomfortable would be an understatement.  While many people would fear the swimming or running portion of a triathlon, I have literally dreaded the cycling part.

Well the best way to get over a fear is to just do it, so we fully outfitted me with a bike and have been gently introducing me to the riding world.  Being the ambitious sort, I decided to have clip in pedals installed too.  I would rather learn from the get go about having to de-clip.  At this point I am 0 for 2 in the tipping over department.  The first time was at the end of our first ride right at a busy intersection.  Gracefully I unclipped my left foot and just leaned the wrong way.  Yeah, it was nothing but clumsy.  The next time was exactly the same only this time it was at a far less busy place.  As Bob said, what I did wasn't manly enough to be called falling.   Nope it was super clumsiness.  The end.

After two rides I've conquered about 40 total miles.  Sure, its been slow, but I have done it and I must say....I love it.  What a great addition to our lifestyle.

I can now dream of the day I complete my IRONMAN.  My dream, the impossible dream, is slowly becoming a reality.  I am going to do it!

I love that I have a man in my life that is not only as crazy as me, but one who is a source of strength when I am unsure of myself.  Bob and I make a great team and I love that when he says "honey you wanna go for a bike ride with me?"  I can honestly say, "oh yeah!"

Till We Meet Again My Friend

After spending a wonderful day in the mountains playing in the snow with all of Memaw and Papa's animals, we headed back to the city to enjoy the final days together.  Since discovering the Buck Recreation Center Lily has been beside herself to take everyone to it.  It has a zero entry pool which is perfect for the tiny swimmers in the bunch, a lazy river for the ambitious toddler (and her equally ambitious mother!), a slide and all manner of water fun.  Lily and Jancsi played and played while the two littles enjoyed the shallow end of the pool.  Grace and I enjoyed some wonderful conversation even it it was interspersed with the occasional splashing!

Saturday morning brought a blanket of white snow on our backyard.  Jancsi could not get out into it fast enough.  Grace and I were abundantly grateful that Bob was home.  He graciously took the big kids outside and helped them build a massive snow man while Grace and I sat in the living room with Evie and Laughter relishing the final few moments of cathartic spoken therapy.  It was wonderful.  Except for the occasional naughtiness for which Bob had to send one or the other of the big kids in for a time out, we had about 2 hours of blissful conversation!

Impressive snowman!  It was as big as Bob.

Our Saturday brought tickles with Bob, cuddles on the couch, play time and fun.  Our kids are simply wonderful to watch.  Boy I have missed the time of us all together! Even as I sit here writing the close to Grace's visit I have tears.  While 8 days may seem like a long time it was simply not long enough.  Texas seems so very far away right now.

The week was wonderful in every sense of the word.  To have my sister and friend back in the same room, sitting on the floor, surrounded by toys and chaos, watching kids and sharing life was a blessing.  Thank you Jesus for the time, thank you for her, thank you for our children and most of all, thank you for a friend to grow old with (and talk about our GMOs!). 

A Year Seems But a Day

I put Grace, Jancsi and Laugher on an airplane headed back to Texas a week ago to the day.  I was sure that I would have blogged and shared all of our adventures and stories by now, and yet here I sit, finally able to share our week.  I dealt with the awful let down after you have an amazing week and felt like I wanted to cry for at least the first 48 hours after she left.   Its been wonderful to take the time to go through all of the pictures and memories.  I am probably going to have to do a couple of posts to cover it all, but I'm ready to remember......

The day I picked up the threesome from the airport was like Christmas for me.  From the moment I saw Grace get off that airplane it was like every wonderful holiday and happiness wrapped up in one person.  Once I was hugging her it was as if the entire last year was only a day.  Its amazing how that happens.

Our first evening was spent meeting each other's new littles and watching the reunion between our oldest kiddos.  Lily and Jancsi were so excited to be back with each other. After hugs and "Hi Jancsi, you are at my house!" they just shared and played with everything they could find.  While we were hoping it would be different, they loved each other and played well with one another for exactly 1 evening.  Then it was right back to sibling mode.  On about Wednesday the consensus between us Moms was that our children each bring out the worst in each other.   It is so amazing how that one year together solidified forever their sibling status.  Boy were they naughty.  Laughter and Evie were content to just be around and watch the drama unfold between their older siblings.  I think they were as surprised at the naughtiness as we Moms were!

This describes the week with Laughter.  Into and under everything. Too cute.

Yeah, we eat dirt.  Whatever....they were getting along.

The conversation and fellowship with Grace was simply cathartic and therapeutic.  I am simply so grateful for her.  We were able to take a few runs while she was here and I know that for me, the time on the road was so nostalgic and blessed.  We even had my dear friend Sarah and her two boys join us for a run.  With 3 Moms and 6 kids, we were like an armada headed down the trail.

Jancsi was so very excited to see the snow and we had it aplenty while they were here.  In fact, the Jessup 3 got to experience Colorado and all of its multiple seasonal personalities.  We got snow one day, freezing temps the other mixed in with a few days of 60 degrees.  Yep they got it all.  I was so happy for Jancsi.  We spent a day or so up in the mountains with Memaw and Papa and he had a blast.  Laughter was simply beside herself with all of the animals and just loved the wildlife up there.  Evie just did whatever we all did in her little pink puff suit and Lily was content to do what she does best.....EVERYTHING.

Watching the doggies play in the snow!  Such delight

Helping Papa Feed the Horses! 

While Lily and Memaw rode horses and spent some time in the arena, the littles took naps inside and J-Man was only too happy to play with the big red wagon.  I had to work hard to get his little busy self to look at the camera and couldn't help but snuggle him up tight.  Gosh I missed this kid!

Laughter and Evie wore their matching Carhart pink overalls and Grace and I were simply delighted to watch their relationship begin to bloom.  Laughter is busy and super mobile, while Evie is still working on the crawl.  Once Evie gets moving, we are going to be in for it!  I see trouble written all over those two little girls faces!

Our mountain time was over too quickly and we headed back to the city for the final days of our visit.....