Joyful

2014 is only a few hours away from being gone forever.  Every year I  find myself trying to make that final blog really important.  Some years its been a recap (thats tomorrow), some years it just another day and others it has been something incredibly important.

This year I wanted to end being joyful about these people.  My Mom and Dad aka. Memaw and Papa.  I am so incredibly blessed to have them in my life and my little family is better because of them.  My girls adore them and although life seems to be filled with trouble and change on many fronts, they still have big hearts.

Sometimes its people and sometimes its the small moments that make a lasting memory.  Sometimes its the simple things in life that remind us we have much to find joy in.    I took this picture below on our Christmas hiatus and couldn't help but feel a sense of Divinity in it.  Nature and light.  Beautiful.

Even as I am writing this, I am also wrestling a little Bee who is almost beside herself with glee squealing, "Memaw! Bah Bah! Ah Day! Eoeo!" These creatures and this lady bring unimaginable joy to her.  It makes me smile.  No, it makes me joyful.

As I close out this year, I just want to stop and remember these beings that make my life a little bit brighter.  On even the cloudiest of days I always have reason to be full of joy.

One More Colorado Christmas

Alright, so you heard it here, after 27 years in the mountains of Colorado, Mom and Dad are selling their place and moving.  Its so exciting and terrifying and sad and wonderful.   The reality that this was quite possibly my last Christmas there was kind of a big deal this year.  Change is always good, but sometimes its hard to say goodbye.

That said, man did we have a fun Christmas.  Lily and Evie just love the mountains and Evie was so serious about giving "uggs" to any one or thing that would let her.  She especially loved hugging Skittles whenever she could.

Lily introduced Papa to CandyLand and they had a blast.  Sweet Lily had the hardest time waiting to open presents.  I cannot tell you how many times I was asked, "Mommy can we open a present?"  I am so glad we had several days and many presents that we could dole out.  It spread the wealth a little bit better!

Most of our time up there was spent outside!  The Lord was so wonderful and gave us a WHITE CHRISTMAS!  Not only was it white on Christmas day, but we got over a foot of snow the day after Christmas.  It was so perfect.  The little girls spent many hours sledding and wrestling through the snow.

Even Papa took a break from his regular chores to catch a sled run.  So much fun!  When we weren't out playing and freezing, we spent our hours watching "Brave," eating, making graham cracker houses, eating fudge, playing horsey, eating some more and making more memories.  

What fun.

I treasure this place and will miss it a whole lot.  I am so glad that my girls will have some brief memories here.  Hopefully Lily will remember a lot and Evie will remember through pictures.

Our days were relaxing and fun.  Christmas could not have played out better for us.  My girls were thoroughly spoiled by all of their grandmas and grandpas.  Seriously, Santa's got nothing on them.  I took pictures and soaked up every part of it.  I found myself getting excited about the next chapters in all of our lives and wondering what next Christmas will look like.  No matter, if we are all together, that is what makes it home.

The Season of Advent

Advent is such a beautiful thing to correspond to the holiday season.  I always remember thinking of the season of advent as the season of expectancy.  A season of waiting, and one of hope.  

The greatest way to really grasp that sense of expectancy is to watch my children.  Little Lily is full out into Christmas this year and wakes up practically every day with an "Is it Christmas day yet?" vibe.  To her credit, she has been patent and has been willing to wait, but I see the struggle in her and have kept many packages hidden.  Evie is pretty "Whatever" at this point, but definitely jumps on her sisters excitement wagon.  She is not completely sure why they are dancing and jumping around, but she wants to be a part!

Lily had her first Christmas program for school this year and we had so much fun attending.  It was short (its like they have done this before) and so cute.  The program consisted of about 50 preschoolers singing different songs and reciting different lines.  Lily's class sang the song "In a Little Stable" and several other classics.   I had such a giggle because you just know that the teacher's told them all to be loud in their singing which translated to just yell really loudly.  The right words are debatable.  I knew this because we would be traveling in the car and Lily would start yell singing, "Jesus on the Mountain, over the hill, Jesus on the Mountain, and he was born!" (Go Tell it on the Mountain in its true form.) She was so cute and I sat there just watching her grow up.  Tear, Tear.

We are living in an expectant time right now.  There is so much change and newness on the horizon of the new year and we are anxious and hopeful for it to arrive. We are trusting that it is good and joyful.  Blessings on you and yours this advent season.

Journey to IRONMAN: Dopey.....It's Coming

Yeah, I'm not going to lie, I may have been a bit too ambitious in my racing schedule this year.  I just finished training my little behind off for Las Vegas and I am now looking at being less than 3 weeks from the Dopey Challenge in Disney World.  Back to back 5k, 10k, 1/2 Marathon and Marathon in the happiest place on earth (they might be smoking something).

I kind of had to laugh at myself because the Dopey Challenge was supposed to be the post baby #2 race.  In other words, technically, the last year should have been devoted to this big venture, not 2 marathons, several halfs, 2 triathlons AND the Dopey.   What can I say....I'm a glutton for punishment (oh who am I kidding, I LOVE it!)

Honestly though, I am so glad for the Vegas Marathon. I really got to do all of my hard training during the months where the weather was glorious for it.  Man, if I still had a few 20's to knock out now I would want to cry.  Between the snow and the COLD, running long distance is a little rough.  Especially considering that I still have my 18 month old with me for many of my weekday miles.  

This week the high is about 42....in the heat of the day.  BRRRRRRRR.  I am however, going to conquer the final week of heavy training.  I started today with an easy 3 miles, tomorrow will be 5, Friday will be a smooth 10 and then we go Mickey ears crazy with 22 on Saturday.  The final hoorah to confirm what I already know......"Sure I can run 48.6 miles in 4 days."

This challenge.....its coming.  

18 Months- A Letter

Dear Evie,

I just have to tell you little one how much I look forward to this day every single month.  I think its because no matter how busy life is or how chaotic it all seems, the 11th of every month is the day when I get to sit down and just think about you.  I love it. I look forward to it and treasure getting to stare at your cute little face while I talk about you.

Christmas time has been fun for you this year because it is all so colorful and exciting.  We tried to put some ornaments on our trees, but stopped after you threw the first one I handed you in a little temper tantrum and broke it.  We have some bell ornaments and you always come by the tree and take them off to shake them.  I have found those ornaments in every corner and under every chair in our house.  

You are such a little girl these days and I am starting to see more and more toddler and less and less baby in you.  You are aware of everything and understand so much.  Your vocabulary is getting bigger and bigger and you can hold your own with Lily.  Your cutest response right now is when you say "Okay" to whatever we ask you.  It is so unbelievably cute and so clear.  You sleep like a champ and are such an amiable little girl.  For the most part.

You want to walk everywhere these days and have such a hard time when you have to hold my hand or I have to carry you for some reason.  Your independence just radiates through you.  We take Lily to school every day and you love to walk down the hall with her.  Speaking of school, you love Lily's classroom.  You would stay there all day if I would let you.

I love having you as a companion little one.  We do everything together in the mornings.  You are a great little running buddy and LOVE "ru nacks!"  Yes, fruit snacks are my go to bribery for keeping you happy in the jogger.  You love them.  Gogurt is a close second these days too.

You are so giggly and love to be tickled, chased and thrown around.  You follow Lily and imitate all of her little faces and silliness.  In many ways you are a little clone of your big sissy and it makes me smile.  You two will be great friends.

Just recently you have discovered how fun it is to read books at night time before bed.  You race into Lily's room, crawl up on her bed and ask for books.  Your attention span is only Brown Bear, Brown Bear long, but man do you love the time together.  When it is time for you to go to bed you stick out your bottom lip which is your kissy face and go around the family giving kisses and hugs.  Let me tell you, there is really nothing better right now than Evie pouty face kisses.  I could have them all day long.

 There is still no person higher on your list than your Daddy.  Well him and Memaw, but he still has top billing.  He is the hero of your little heart and I hope it stays that way.  He loves you so much and you think the world of him.  I am so glad that he works from home so that you can love on him every single day.

I love my time every month to think about you and only you for a while.  You are special and so much joy.  You brighten up my world little one and you make me so happy.  Watching you grow up is such a blessing, but it truly is happening so fast.  I am excited for the times ahead, but want to soak in every single moment of right now.  Keep being a love wee one and keep your little heart open.  I love you Bee!

Happy 18 Months

Love Mom

Diddy Happened

My girls are just starting to become such good friends these days.  I love watching their sweet relationship blossom.  It is such a treasure and such a delight for me.  Evie loves her big sister and wants to be just like her.  She walks around the house calling for her "Diddy."  When Lily is at school, she is constantly asking me about her and cannot wait to pick her up. 

There are however, many days where Evie is the tormentee of Lily's tormentor.  The poor dear.  Whether she is not playing the way Lily is playing or needs to be locked in a room for some reason, I hear screams and drama throughout the hours on these days.  Evie can hold her own for the most part, except when Lily has her surrounded with blankets all over her.  Lily wants to play so badly.

The best moment happened the other day when Bob and I were in the kitchen.  Evie came running down the hallway in tears with her hair a wreck and her shirt over her shoulder.  I asked her, "Oh Bee, what happened?"  Her reply was priceless, "Diddy!"  

I shouldn't have, but I just broke down in giggles.  Diddy happened.  Oh Bee, its just begun.

Journey to IRONMAN: My Pedigree Part 2

Running continued to be a staple for me, but I could not break that 4 mile barrier.  How could anyone run more than that?  More importantly was WHY?

I graduated top of my class, head cheerleader and 20 pounds lighter and fitter than when I started and headed to CSU where I had made the All-girl Cheerleading squad.  Collegiate level cheering was a whole new ballgame.  2 a day practices, running, weight lifting, size expectations.  Man, I had to step up my game.  Thankfully running was now a lifestyle for me and I quickly learned how to break that 4 mile window.  I slowly conquered  the 6 mile distance and can remember running the Boulder, Boulder 10k.  6 miles was far!

Then I met Bob and his Momma and quickly started to wonder if I could ever do something as big as a half marathon.  How do people just run and run and run.....for 13.1 miles?  It seemed impossible.  The January after Bob proposed in 2003, however, I was convinced  to tackle it.  The Rock n Roll Half Marathon in Phoenix was the destination and was to be the first race I had ever done with Bob.  Darcie, Bob's sister, and I ran it together and after months of training and wondering we came across the finish line at 2:07.  I was TOAST.  I remember feeling like I could barely make it across the line.  I lost a toe nail, everything hurt.  That was hard.

I was not one of those runners that just fell in love with racing and distance.  In fact, following that race I took somewhat of a running hiatus.  That Half Marathon was hard.  Ironically in all of this I sat down one day and wrote a bucket list for life goals.  On it were things like read the whole bible, have a baby and visit Italy.  The last  item I put on it was "run a marathon."  I remember writing that down and thinking "its a good thing I have my whole life because there is a good chance that will never happen. I barely finished half that distance, how in the world can I run 26.2?"

Now I must digress a bit here and talk about the other events in the tri.  Surely some of you are thinking, well, wasn't cycling and swimming part of your life?  Nope.  Yes, I knew how to ride bike, and yes, I knew how to swim, but I was neither a cyclist nor a swimmer.  I had a 10 speed mountain bike as a kid but I didn't ride it for more than a few minutes.  The one time I remember my cousins and I riding our bikes home from our mail boxes (3 miles away), I fell and broke my arm.  No, cycling was not my thing.  After that tumble as a young teenager, I did not ride a bike.  In fact, I have not owned a bicycle for over 15 years!  I have ridden a road bike for roughly 8 months, and have never ridden an actual TRI bike.

As for swimming, I loved to swim as a kid and my cousins and I loved to swim in our freezing cold pond, but water has always been a fearful place for me.  I am not comfortable in water and have been convinced for several years that there is a water monster that eats unsuspecting swimmers.  Seriously, for as long as I can remember, the mere act of getting in water whether a pool, ocean, lake or pond would instantly make my heart race and my imagination run wild.  That monster.....its in there.

So you see.....nothing in my pedigree suggests that I would ever want to tackle one of the hardest endurance events one can do.  I'm not magic or genetically engineered for this.  I don't have a legacy of this kind of racing.  Its not "in my blood." I truly am a normal woman who believes without doubt that she can do extraordinary things.

My desire to become IRONMAN is fraught with "what ifs" and "can I reallys."  I am constantly looking at this event and dealing with real human fear....and doubt.  Its not easy.....I wasn't born for this.

I just know I can.  The greatest achievements in life are sometimes the result of choosing to believe you can even when everything else suggests you really can't.  My journey to IRONMAN is truly that.....a journey, not a destination. Why can't a once overweight "that's impossible," non swimmer, non cyclist complete the toughest Triathlon race distance?  Every day is a choice to believe I can.........


and I WILL.