It's What I Could Do

This past week has been a hard one.  Saying goodbye to Curtis and dealing with the gaping hole in our family was at times overwhelming.  With everything happening in Missouri, it was so hard to be here in Colorado.  Wanting so desperately to be able to be a comfort to Chelsea and the family, but having too many responsibilities here.

On Thursday Bob and I felt the need to do something, anything to feel that we were somehow participating.  In these times it seems that the only thing we can do is pray.  Prayer is powerful, yes, but the need to DO something really weighed heavy on the two of us.  At this point in life the thing we do best is run.  Since having Evie I have become quite the runner.  What can I say, its my bliss.  Running is the thing I do when literally everything else in life is chaotic.  Running is simply my happy place.

When we found out that the funeral for Curtis would be held on Saturday, I could think of nothing better than to run and pray.  So Bob and I decided to run a prayer half marathon.  In order to keep the girls happy we took turns running.  I started in the morning bright and early.  It was truly a powerful thing to begin the morning in prayer.  It was cool and the perfect running conditions.

The experience of praying continually and purposefully was the most powerful thing I have ever done. Each mile brought a new person to pray for a new mission of prayer. Communing with the Lord was empowering and healing.  The miles were the easy part.  When I was done with the 13 I could have continued on.  I just didn't want to stop praying.   I felt that I was with Chelsea, with the family, the whole time.  It was something I won't soon forget.

Everything in me wanted to be there in the flesh, but that isn't what the Lord wanted for me.  He wanted me here in prayer.  So I ran and prayed......its what I could do.

I have had a hard time getting back into catching everyone up on life here at the Longmires because in the face of such loss so much of our life happenings seem trite.  I am now in a place, however, that I am ready to continue on.  We will miss Curtis, we will think of him often, and I'm sure I will shed many more tears but I know that the best way to honor him is to keep moving forward. So I will not stay in sadness, but cling to the promises of the Lord.

"Though sorrow may last for a night, joy comes in the morning."