Unexpected

Well.....I have Mono. super did not expect to hear that this year. funny how life works. The audacity to believe you have any control over your life is truly and illusion.  After coming off the year of dealing with my foot I felt like I was bouncing.  I was back to running, feeling strong......and then this happened.

It all started about three months ago when I got terribly sick. I ended up with a double ear infection and full blown sinus infection and couldn't hardly eat or smell anything for weeks. It was weird how sick I got.  It took me 10 days of heavy antibiotics to get over that one, and I feel like I still have congestion every now and then.  I made it through and have been working to get back on top of my game.

Since then, our life has certainly not been without its stresses.  It seems like every Fall I make the paltry attempt at having a low key season only to find myself flailing under the amount of things we have to do.  Fall is a busy season and navigating the idea of balance through it is a challenge.  I suppose I have just taxed my overall body too much between emotional stress and physical stress. 

Last month I got really ill again.  I ran a fever for 12 days, had body aches, was exhausted and  felt miserable.  It took all of my energy just to get out of bed every morning and not want to return to bed after getting the kids to school. I hardly worked and found the idea of taking photos completely overwhelming.  I was not well.  We thought it might be shingles after 5 days of fevers I went to Urgent Care and they confirmed it wasn't shingles and that I was negative for flu and strep.  I was sent home with the  whole "its probably a virus that has to run its course. Treat the symptoms and wait it out."

So wait I did. Another week went by and I still felt terrible so I found a Primary Care Physician and made the appointment.  Unfortunately they couldn't get me in before my trip to CA so I did what they told me to and just treated the symptoms.  We had a lovely time in CA, but I definitely was not firing on all cylinders.

I got back and made it into my PCP.  After describing my 2.5 weeks of symptoms her immediate response was, "I suspect Mono."  She ordered blood work and ultrasounds.  Bloodwork confirmed, "Positive for Mono" and ultrasounds further confirmed elevated Liver enzymes and an enlarged spleen.  Classic Mono.

Recovery for this thing is long and it just won't quit.  I have attempted to deny the fact that I am exhausted, but the reality is there.  Doctor gave me strict instructions for the next 3 months (yep you read that right).  No gym, limited yoga, only minimal short distance running with no intensity, no alcohol, and as much rest as I can get.  I have Mono, and like I told my Crossfit gym...

I'm benched......again.

I won't lie that I feel a great frustration over the whole thing. I have never felt so un-trusting of my body.  Wish I knew why my body can't get its act together. 

So I enter another Christmas season embracing stillness and rest, finding joy in the fact that I can still ski with my girls, and run gently with my dog.  Grateful for family and the chance to invest time and energy into them. Grateful for another opportunity to handle the unexpected with grace and grateful for yet more time to consider what's important. 

Life is full of things we least expect, but God is still good, His mercies are still new every morning, and He is still faithful.  I will trust in his goodness and rest in the hope of healing.