Stretching Her Wings

My Mother in Law Jill loves to tell the story of the time she drove Bob all the way from Illinois to Colorado for College.  Bob wanted to go literally across the country in pursuit of his education so she mustered her courage, drove him out, dropped him off and cried herself through Nebraska as she headed home.  At one point during her drive home she called her Father (Bob's Grandpa) and without skipping a beat he said to her, "Jill, you raised that boy to be confident, bold, adventurous and independent.  Why are you crying now that he is?"

Its a poignant story to me and really hit home a couple of weeks ago.  Bob and I have absolutely decided to raise our girls to be independent and bold women.  We talk all of the time about how we want them one day to leap from our nest and fly without question.  We want them to step into opportunities and walk through doors of potential.  We want them to make good choices and live boldly.........

My girlfriend Bridgit called me a couple weeks ago on a Friday.  She and her family were going to go camping up in ShowLow with some other awesome people.  Kids were going.......and we were all invited.  Unfortunately I had 2 dates with friends that I couldn't cancel, but Bridgit asked, "Would Lily like to go?"  

Um, no I thought.....she's never been camping.....she's only ever gone for an overnight with Grandparents.......its 3 hours away.......for 2 nights.  No......she wouldn't want to go.

Then it hit me.....Maybe you should ASK HER, and actually let her have some say in this. So I did and with a skip, a leap and a squeal she said, YES.  Actually she said yes like 50 times while running around the house dancing and packing her stuff. 

I will admit, I was both stunned.......and incredibly proud.  What a brave and bold thing for my Lily to do.  Bob and I spent the day making sure she understood that she was going by herself and that we were not going to be there.  We went over and over how it was a long drive away and she couldn't just pop back home.  We told her it was camping and that we still wouldn't be there. (You see how much we repeated ourselves)  To all of this she replied with, "Well, if I have to sleep on the ground I need to remember my pillow," and "Can I bring my blanket Mom?"

We took her over to Bridgit's house and dropped her for her weekend.  Lily didn't hesitate, she didn't waver once.  She wanted to go on an adventure.....

And I found myself in tears on the car ride home........... I kept waiting to see her realize the enormity of her decision, I kept thinking I was going to have to hold a nervous kid and convince her of her strength, but I didn't....not once.  She half hugged me, said "Bye Mom!"  got in that big truck with her friend and went camping. She had a blast and everyone who was there loved her.  She swam in the lake, went exploring, played and slept in a big camper (a fact to which she talks non stop about!).  It was a big weekend and she LOVED it! 

I shed my tears and then let the smile of pride well up in my spirit.  She is strong and bold and brave and mighty.  She is adventurous and is going to chase what excites her.  Someday, when she leaps from our nest she will fly........

and I will be ever so thankful that I never clipped her wings.

Journey to IRONMAN: That Quote

Well, its official, 6 more months until that IRONMAN start line.  I'm a day late this time.....I remembered last night when I was in bed.....nearly asleep.  I think I chose wisely. :)  The months are just ebbing away in a constant routine of Sleep, Train, Eat, Mother, Wife, Eat, Sleep.

This month I wanted to do a little follow up on everything that has been going on with my diet, Heart Rate training and IRONMAN prep.  For the past few weeks this quote has been ruminating in my mind......

I have changed my whole perspective on food, fueling and training.  I am quite literally doing things I have never done before and finding a happier, wholer, stronger me.  So.....how's it going?

4 weeks ago I made some big changes, 1.  I cut out 80% of my carbs, all of my grains (except Quinoa) and 95% of processed sugar (I still love me some super dark chocolate). 2. I dramatically increased the amount of good fat I eat (Ever had bulletproof coffee? You should!) with coconut oil, grass fed butter, avocados, eggs, nuts and nut butters and 3.  Taken all the intensity out of my workouts.  For the first 2 weeks I literally was running (if you can call it that) at about a 12 minute pace.  Riding a bike has been slow and steady.  It all has been slow and steady.

I won't lie, for the first 2 weeks I struggled a lot.  It has been very difficult to feel like I am "loosing" my speed and fitness.  I was frustrated and discouraged. I am so very thankful for my coach Dawn and my dear friend Bridgit.  Dawn has been the most incredible source of encouragement and belief.  I called her during those weeks and amidst my struggles and unease her resounding confidence in me was unwavering, "Bethany, calm down, you are going to have an amazing IRONMAN.  You are a strong athlete. I have no doubts in your ability.  This is only gonna make you stronger."  That confidence and Bridgit's nutrition advice and love of Costco has been the motivation and catalyst for digging in and doing this!

And its working......BIG TIME

I can't even begin to tell you how amazing I feel.  I now track my macros (ie proportion of carbs, fat and protein).  I work to cycle my carb intake between 50g and 175g daily.  I can easily finish a 3 hour bike ride on no fuel (body is learning how to burn fat....eeee!)  and everything about my body feels AMAZING. I never thought I would give up bread, grains, sugar, lattes, pasta and my belief that I "need carbs," and feel so so SO good! I don't have cravings and I am never Hangry (so hungry I'm angry) and I just feel lighter and brighter.  

I am getting stronger too.  I have really noticed it in the water.  I used to jump in the pool or the lake and my heart rate would jump up very quickly.  I used to have a hard time getting my breath and breathing organized and settled.  Now I am cool as a cucumber and absolutely LOVE my swimming.  I feel confident, competent and like I could go forever.  My cycling and running has also seen dramatic improvement.  No, I'm still not fast, but I'm steady, consistent and able to go and go and go. 

I am doing things I have never done in pursuit of a dream.

I can....and I will 

Journey to IRONMAN: Rocky Point Tri

Boy, its taken me a while to get this blog up and running!  Goodness, its been 2 weeks since the Rocky Point TRI.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much fun this event and vacation was.  I have firmly decided that as our girls grow up I want to see the world and race.  Running, swimming, biking, whatever.......we can do it all so now I just want to see the world while doing it.

We had a fantastic group of my TRI club buddies who headed down for the weekend.  I hitched a ride with Bridgit's family and we drove our way across the border.  Side note: I had no idea that children could ride in the vehicle for several hours without entertainment and no screaming.  Seriously....had no idea :)  The kids were fantastic and the conversation and laughs we had driving down were awesome.  I know cool people.

Exhibit A

Rocky Point is gorgeous.  I have to admit that I was amazed at how close a vacation destination is.  It even feels exotic when you leave the country.  You do drive through a pretty poor area of the border before hitting the beach, but the destination is fantastic.  Surf, sand and WIND. Well, it did not disappoint! The morning of the race we woke up to hellacious winds coming off the ocean.  They couldn't even put up the transition area balloon because it kept being blown over.

Out of all the elements, wind is my biggest fear and I thought it appropriate that I would have to deal with it on my first Olympic distance.....ever.  Funny thing though, it never once derailed me.  I kind of had this attitude like, "of COURSE its windy! IRONMAN won't come easy so why did I ever think the wind would be kind?  Big girl pants time!"  My attitude morphed into one of sheer resolve.  "Good luck with that wind........I got a race to do and you have nothing on me!"  Another empowering win for me.  The body can most certainly achieve what the mind can believe.

See that lovely yellow clad lady?  That's my amazing coach Dawn.

With the crazy wind, the swim was completely derailed and made into a beach run/ocean crawl.  They wouldn't let us out in the waves so we ran 300 yards down the beach, 20 yards out into the water and then 300 yards climbing through 3 feet of heavy surf and waves.  Then....we did it again.  The legs burned, but we all sure did look cute in our swim caps and goggles doing knee high lifts through the water as fast as we could.

Upon exiting the water the wind literally pushed us up the hill to transition.  The bike course was a 3 loop repeated course.  They set it up so that we had a tail wind going out and a headwind coming home......3 times.  All things considered it was the best possible set up given the wind, but every time the legs went from flying to a brick wind wall it was challenging.

The bike was a great event for me.  I really enjoyed it even in the wind.  My stomach was unsettled from waking up, a fact I attribute to diet change, travel and nerves, so when I got off the bike I knew my run was going to take a hit.

My transition was great, but the run did indeed become a miserable event for me due to stomach distress.  I had just forced too much change on my gut to quickly and then threw an intense race on top.  My own fault pure and simple.  I finished and flung myself over the finish line and onto the glorious slip and slide to be hosed off.  Margarita Time yet?

The party got rockin' right away with great music and the awards ceremony.  Even with the stomach issues that I had I still managed to place 2nd in my age group!

See that athlete to my left in that picture?  Yeah, she passed me at mile 4 on the run.  Next year.......Ill be back.  I can't tell you how awesome it was to place and get to be "on podium."  It really felt great and I have firmly decided that small races really are the best!

My girlfriend Bridgit rocked the podium too.  She's strong and fast......and an amazing triathlete.  This year she isn't in my age group.......next year she will be. #friendlycompetitiononlymakesyoustronger

We ate a snack, took a shower, took a nap and then headed out for dinner and drinks on the town.  Flavios had spectacular local fare and the long island iced teas were perfectly strong.  It was a good night :)

The next day we spent doing what we should be doing..........beach bumming it!  We woke up late, ate a fabulous breakfast, took our towels, sunglasses and drinks to the beach and enjoyed the sun.  Excuse the tan lines........

Rocky Point was so much fun and I nearly have Bob and I signed up for next year already.  Since finishing this race I have had my nose to the grindstone changing my diet and training my heart rate.  I am determined to solve all my stomach issues and come out of this IRONMAN experience a stronger, healthier, leaner, meaner fighting machine  Onto the next!

I Am Mom

It's Mother's Day today and I am celebrating the day by myself.  No No, don't feel sad for me.  This is exactly how I wanted to spend my day.  Its been a lovely day complete with a run, uninterrupted coffee time, binge watching Netflix, working on pictures, catching up on emails and doing all of the things I simply don't have extra time to do anymore.  Why?  because I'm a Mom.

I am incredibly thankful to be a Mom.  These girls are life to me and a whole bunch of possible wrapped up in pig tails, blue eyes and dresses.  Both of them are bold, daring, strong, driven and so so so much work.  Its okay.....they are going to go BIG places so I am up to the task.

Two days ago I had a moment I'm not proud of.  I yelled.  Remember that whole anger thing I talked about a while ago?  Well.....its a work in progress.  I just got angry.  I dropped Lily off and had this sinking feeling that she is only ever going to remember the times I was angry.  I asked for forgiveness and went on with my day.  Later that afternoon I picked her up and she handed me this card.........

I'm fun, and smart and sweet and happy and pretty.  To her that is who I am.  Amazing how she sees me.  I felt humbled and completely overwhelmed at how grace works.  Unmerited favor.  Children are so beautiful and fully reflect the incredible grace of the Lord.  My girls love me.......anger, yelling and all.  To them I am still all these things.  

There is no true way to fully express all of the feelings, emotions and self realization that has come from being a Mom.  These girls drive me batty.........but they also have empowered me, strengthened me and taught me how to be brave, courageous, vulnerable and driven.  They never stop.....so I don't either.  They rarely rest.......so I don't either.  If they can go all day with the fire they have......I can too.  They have made me IRON.  I'm just going to go get the medal.

I am not sure how I ended up with 2 strong willed little girls, but I did.  Evie is every bit as passionate, stubborn and driven as the rest of us Longmire women.  She is such a love and gives the best snuggles.  She knows how to fight and is not easily trifled with.  Oh she wants to be big.  She may be only 2, but look out world.......she is coming.

This flower is so smart.  So so SO smart.  She is excelling in her school and her teachers love and adore her.  She has friends everywhere she goes.  She is strong and bold and asks questions.  She challenges the boundaries and pushes for goals.  She is rarely derailed.  HMMMM wonder where she got that?  Did I tell you that she is running in her first triathlon this summer?  Look out world.

Today I am grateful for the chapter in my life that is titled "Mom."  It has been the most unexpected, empowering, life changing part of me.  It has lead to a lot of self discovery and a lot of things I "never would have done" had you asked me what the future held 20 years ago.  

Journey to IRONMAN: But What If I Could?

On Monday of last week I was finally able to get my VO2 Max test.  When you enter into the world of endurance triathloning, this test is one of the best measures of where you are physiologically.  My coach really pushed to have the VO2 results because it helps her 1. do her job better, and 2. helps me do my job better.  But what is a VO2?  Well, hold onto your seats my friends, cause we are about to get a whole lot of science and a whole lot of data!

Lets talk definition.  VO2 max is:

 "the maximum amount of oxygen your body can use during exercise.  It is a 

combination of how much oxygen your lungs can take in, convert into the bloodstream which is 

then pumped throughout your body by your heart and finally how efficient your muscles are in 

consuming and converting that oxygen for use."

Layman terms Bethany:  

how much air can I suck in as my heart rate is going up during exercise.  Since

the body uses oxygen to power itself, how good am I at taking in that oxygen and 

making it power the muscles in my legs.  Since all of this requires energy(think fat and carbohydrates), what is my body using to fuel all of this consumption and conversion, 

and is it efficient and sustainable.

To do this test, I took my bike to a special endurance clinic and was put on a very high tech trainer with a Gotham like mask over my face.  In this picture, all of me was hooked up to a computer delivering more info than you ever wanted regarding my oxygen levels, fitness, and physiology.  The complete test was about 20 minutes.  The test starts with me finding that smooth easy, not working hard gear that I can easily pedal an 80-90 stroke cadence (how fast my legs are spinning).  Anna, my tester, was then going to remotely increase the resistance on my bike every 2 minutes.  My goal was to maintain the same cadence through it all, breathing as normally as I could.  The test would get harder and harder until I physically failed (yes it was interesting to know that one point of the test was at which point I failed).

Hold up Bethany......really, why do you need this? Good question.  I don't NEED it.  I can do all that I am doing without it, but I will never reach my full potential without training with this information in mind.  IRONMAN is a taxing event, it is a long season of training and a long day at the races.  Being strong isn't just about going the distance, but being strong on the inside.  This test revealed 2 things to me:

1. I have a strong and powerful internal engine capable of running at nearly an elite athlete level 

2. Its running on the wrong fuel, creating an inefficient, unsustainable, exhausted internal engine.

So lets talk fuel.  Our bodies use 2 sources, fat and carbohydrates.  Fats are long burning, clean, efficient fuel (think Tesla) and carbohydrates are fast burning, dirty, hot fuels (think every other gasoline vehicle). The GREATEST lie that has ever been given athletes is the lie of "carbo loading."  This myth has created a community and a world of carb dependent people.  A person simply cannot eat enough carbs to fuel the body correctly and so the endless cycle of  eat carbs, store as fat, run out of carbs, eat more carbs  is creating a bunch of obese people and chubby inefficient athletes who are doing big things while doing a lot of damage internally.  By changing the mindset, the diet and the training approach to encourage fat consumption and fat for fuel, not only can you get leaner and lighter, but become almost uncapped in your athletic potential.  To break this down  right now I have 24% body fat.  Based on my weight 124 lbs, this means my body has 29 pounds of fat on it (yes I really do).  If we know that there are around 3500 calories in 1 pound of fat, that means that I have over 100.000 calories on any given day in my fat stores.  If 1 IRONMAN uses around 7000 calories I could run over 13 back to back IRONMANS if I was only burning my fat.  Why is this so significant?  I don't have enough carbohydrates in my body to complete 1 IRONMAN without eating more.

Well....my VO2 test revealed that, at the moment, I am a 100% high carb burning individual.  From years of high intensity training and believing I needed a lot of carbs (even "good" ones), I have taught my body how to run on hot burning jet fuel from the moment my heart starts "working".  I have also experienced what it is like to crash in many events.   Yes....we as athletes use carbs, but for an endurance athlete to only use carbs is faulty......you simply can't put enough in!

Here's the basics:

• 124 pounds
• 24% body fat
• Fat burning heart rate 110-126bpm (this is the bad part.......fat burning efficient athletes have an aerobic base in the high 150s and up)
• Anerobic Threshold (AT) 130bpm (at 130 I am on all carbs....no bueno- I ran my marathons in the 150s)
• VO2 at AT 24.6
• VO2 at Max 54.1

So...whats the plan:
 To train the heart and body to burn fat and to increase my aerobic capacity (fat burning heart rate).

 How:

• Diet Change- I am now a Primal/Paleo eater
• No more sugar (Goodbye Starbucks!), grains, processed foods or things with industrial oils
• Increase my good fat consumption significantly (YES!  I love good butter, avocados, coconut oil...mmmmm)
• Train at low intensity (work to keep my heart rate in a fat burning zone which is LOW right now)-so basically this means I am now a nice, easy, slow athlete working on building my aerobic base.

I have been a very successful athlete in the past, but have also experienced a lot of bonking (think complete energy loss in an event), crazy appetites, stomach issues and other stuff that simply won't work when I attempt to complete IRONMAN.  By making these changes and making myself an efficient fat burning individual I just might find the answer to these questions.  I also might find an astounding athlete waiting on the other side.

What potential could I tap into?  I really wanna find out.

Stay Tuned!