Our Love Story Part 4

I LOVED being in my first relationship.  It was so much fun to have a boyfriend, and one that was seriously full out into me.

In the first few months I just couldn't wait to get done with my classes so that I could see him again and the nights that he was busy I would stay up late pretending I had homework to do just so I could see him (even though I had to work just to keep my eyes open!).

A couple of months into dating I noticed one day that Bob's hair was getting pretty shaggy.  From the moment I had met him he was a clean cut type of guy.  Having his hair grow out was new so I asked him about it.  "Oh I don't know, I'm just letting it grow, you know, doing something different."  Hmmm, well okay, whatever.....he was still hot :).  From our first date throughout our entire dating relationship he never cut his hair.  I had no idea why and I didn't ask.  We dated for a solid 14 months or so.  It was crazy curly and long by the time he cut it next.........but more on that in a while.

The Summer between our Sophomore and Junior year was kind of a make or break time for us.  Bob headed out to Minnesota to work with a ministry called Treehouse, and I decided to go on a 3 week mission trip.  It was hard because I felt as though our time apart was either going to make the heart fonder ........ or forgetful.  I prayed it would be the first, said goodbye and prayed that at the end of the Summer we would still be together.  I missed him and he missed me.  I think in a month and half we spoke a couple of times but each moment just brightened our future.  Oh he was the one.

We reconnected in person halfway through the Summer and lets just say, our hearts were fonder.  In fact the whole purity plan and "no kiss till our wedding day" plan became VERY challenging.  We struggled we had moments where we walked dangerously close to that line, the chemistry between us was just so real.  It was truly a poignant time in my life of learning how weak we are, but how strong the Lord is.  He sustained us and helped us stay true to what we had committed.

We went back to school in the Fall of 2003 more in love and more an item than ever.  Although Bob lived on campus and I lived off we still saw each other, and I still cooked for him.  I loved that time.  When we weren't in classes you could find the two of us rock climbing.  We did  it all of the time.  It was scary and challenging.  I liked it but I LOVED just being with him in the mountains.  He was far stronger and committed to it than I was, but I was determined to hang with him.  Little did I know that the rock would literally test the strength of our relationship more than anything else had.....

Our Love Story Part 3

The moment just lingered.  I watched as Bob digested what I had just told him.  "Bethany, I don't want to be like that.  I want to be better. What can I do differently?"  My heart literally jumped out of my chest with joy.  He heard me, without malice or bitterness, but with a teachable heart.  That moment felt like a Divine gift.   Take it from me guys, honesty like that is WAY sexy.

There are 2 defining moments in our relationship that confirmed that my heart was moving towards the right man.  The conversation above was the first, and the second came not long after.  A few of Bob's roommates were over (not Bob) in our apartment one day and we were all talking about dating and relationships.  At the risk of being considered crazy I happened to mention that I had never been kissed and that I was saving that kiss for my wedding day.  I wish I could describe the looks on the guys faces upon sharing my little tidbit.  They were shocked and with very little hesitation began the barrage of comments that I had feared, "Gosh Bethany, how can you do that?", "Seriously, you would be the most frustrating woman to date!"and my favorite, "Bethany, no one is going to want to be with you."  My heart took a major hit.  If this is how most guys thought, what in the world was Bob going to say when I told him?

Later that evening I went over to Bob's apartment, seeking friendship and support.  I felt lonely and hurt.  Was I "undateable" and bound to live forever single in my vow?  I shared it all with Bob, right down to the commitment that against all odds I still intended to keep.  I told him and then waited to hear the door of a possible relationship slam shut, but instead, his response was this, "Wow Bethany that is special.  Any man who gets to love you is blessed.  You are a treasure to be found."  What??? Did I hear that right? He respects me and my decision, thinks it a treasure?  I went home just giddy, "Lord could this be the one?"

I learned very quickly that he had ended his relationship back home during all of this and on October 4th, 2002 took me out on our official first date.  I remember it well, Sushi and a walk by the Lake.  (It's a good thing I'm brave-- I had never had sushi).  It was all things perfect.  He got a haircut (the last of our dating days.....more on that later), dressed himself up and took me out.  He gave me a single rose, of which I still have 3 tender petals saved in my journal.  Our friendship was slowly morphing into something more.

In good ole' CCU terms we didn't Define the Relationship for a while.  It was hard to feel in a space of more than friends, less than committed, but both of us were serious about being sure we were moving towards a forever kind of relationship.  We hiked together, winter camped together (wanna know how to share 1 tent and have no desire for frisky business? Go to a Glacier when its 0 degrees and camp, amazingly effective), we started rock climbing, went snowboarding and spent any spare moment together even if that spare moment was in the parking lot in our car.  Before we knew it, we were an item.  When I would tell people that we were not boyfriend/girlfriend everyone who knew us would say, "Um, okay, but you guys are inseparable.  Call it what you want, you are serious."  In November just 4 months after our first meeting, we Defined ourselves.  We had fallen completely, hook, line and sinker.

In November of that year, he took me back to Illinois and Iowa to meet his family.  I was the first girl he had done that with.  This was real.