Journey to IRONMAN: 4 Months: Dealing with Disappointment

Coach sent me a text the other day "Bethany, you are 16 weeks out from IRONMAN.  Training has officially begun!"  I laugh because it was right after I got home from a 14 mile run.  Welcome to IM training.....the fun has just begun. 4 Months to glory!

That text came at the right time though because I have had a heck of a disappointing 14 days when it comes to my training.  When the Marquee Olympic TRI cancelled this year due to the draining of the Tempe Town Lake, I quickly transferred my registration to the Boulder Peak TRI in Colorado.  It was perfect because I would be able to see my family and friends, get in a race and not skip a beat.  I planned the entire trip down with all logistics, travel, hotel room etc.  I couldn't wait to race again.

The girls and I pulled into CO on July 7th and I anxiously unpacked my parted out bike.  I conquered a big fear by rebuilding the bike all by myself.  I felt so proud and accomplished....ready to take on the world.  

I had a great shakeout 3000 meter swim in the pool on Friday and then left the girls with Memaw and Papa, grabbed my girlfriend and headed up to Boulder to RACE!  I rested on Saturday, ate clean, got all checked in, went through all my pre race strategy and got in bed early.  About an hour after falling into blissful pre race sleep my watched buzzed.  A Text.  I groggily checked it to find that my husband had checked our email and my race was CANCELLED.  At first I half thought it was a joke, a very cruel joke (and that is way out of his nature).  I checked myself and discovered that due to a local forest fire and the resources needed to fight it, the Boulder County had demanded that the race be cancelled.  As calm as I handled it (after all, what was there to do?) the disappointment at having come so far only to have my race cancelled was like an elephant sitting on my stomach.  What. A. Bummer.  Between the adrenaline.......the disappointment.......the sadness..........and the frustration my sleep that night was awful.  I was ever so grateful to have my dearest friend Sarah there to help me weather the situation.

After a wretched nights sleep, we woke up, drove out to the lake to drop my timing chip off (and I think to REALLY confirm the cancellation) and then went back to the hotel.  We decided to head out on a 6 mile run.  Between the smoke in the air and the depth of disappointment I was still feeling the run was HARD.  Really hard.  

My heart rate was through the roof, I was nauseous, the high altitude plus disappointment was rough.  I had to stop every mile to get my HR in check.  I was so grateful to have a friend with me.  Disappointment hit me harder than I thought it would.  We had a nice morning in Boulder and then headed back to the city.  I had a 1500 meter swim, a 24 mile bike and 6.2 mile run on the schedule that day, so when we got back I decided to go out on a long bike ride.  The swim wasn't gonna happen, but the bike ride did.  It was hard.  Sunday was all hard.  After my high experience at Dueces Wild.....this just felt like an enormous piece of "Can you really do this?" pie. 

Monday was busy and I was able to get in a quick swim.  I am thankful for swimming.  

Tuesday after a glorious morning riding horses I went out to get my run in. 6 miles at 8000 feet.  I did it, but it was hard.  I couldn't do my workout as planned.  I could barely run 12 min miles without blowing up my HR.  I had to just let go of what I wanted it to be and embrace what it was.  In the afternoon I had a photo shoot so I packed up my bike and took it to Golden.  Golden is not overly bike friendly.  I had a route....planned it and everything.  After 4 road closures, a trail that wasn't a trail, 3 highway crossings, and getting lost twice I called it.  Its not fun riding when you can't ride!  Wednesday my family was so gracious to plan the evening around me getting to the gym for another swim session.  We got to the gym, I checked in and headed to the pool only to discover that the swim team was hosting a meet and there was no lap swimming.  Bummer.  So I went and ate Mexican food instead. 

I had to postpone my bike and run for Thursday to Friday because we drove from CO to AZ to get to a family wedding.  Friday was its own version of a TRI.  Bob and I rode for an hour, ran for 7 miles and I conquered my first solo open water swim.  It was stressful, but at least I got it done.  Saturday brought with it 3.5 hours on the bike.  Our route got incredibly windy and it was really miserable for a large portion of it, but I got it done.  Sunday brought with it 14 miles in Pinetop at altitude.  It was hard.  Just really hard.

None of my training has come easy over the last couple of weeks.  Each day I kept telling myself that every day I doggedly fought through the high altitude and toughness was only making me stronger for my Half IRONMAN in 4 weeks.  Even upon getting home I have battled exhaustion (after all photographing a wedding is hard work too!), altered workouts, slower paces and unexpected disappointment.  This stuff is hard!

On this journey to IRONMAN there are high times where I am convinced I am IRONMAN and there are low times where I wonder, "Can I....REALLY?"  The past few days have been an inner struggle of wondering.  I am ever so grateful that although the training was hard that I was surrounded by incredible family who supported me and loved on my girls.  They helped me remember what really was important and to enjoy the extra time that missed workouts brought me.   

Disappointment is real and fierce, but it does make you stronger.  Fighting to find your strong when it just hurts is what makes a man an IRONMAN.  

and I will be one.........

June....in a Nutshell

I hereby promise that when both of my girls are in school (August 10th), I will be a more faithful consistent blogger.

Um, WOW......so Summer is unbelievably busy.  Goodness.  I'm behind, so this is my catch up post.  We have not stopped moving since the start of this school free time.  I think about blogging EVERY DAY.  No kidding, but I just simply do not have time.  I don't feel bad about it either.  Im soaking up my girls before the day I drop them both at school and the reality that my life is changing big time sets in.

June was a fabulously crazy and wild summer month. We spent the first 2 weeks of the month shuttling Evie to some intensive swim lessons cousin Charity and our new soon to be cousin Christin (she is marrying my cousin Nathan).  It was fun to reconnect with Evie's swim friend from last year, Kent and watch her get some confidence in the water.  

 It was hot out here which equalled POOL TIME.  Grandma Lynn and Grandpa Bob came out to visit us right in the middle of the month and we partied like it was 1999!  Evie was celebrated for 4 days straight including a party trip up to Phoenix and the amazing Hilton complete with outdoor water park.  We had a blast......even if I did get stung by a bee.

Princess Evie was showered with birthday love including a fancy birthday dress.  She refused to take it off for the entire time and simply can't wait for any opportunity to wear her "fancy dress."

Bob and his Dad did what they do best......golf.  I am so glad that they could have the time together.  Its such a blessing to have them out with us.  They bring a lot of joy.

We recovered from our party weekend only to do laundry....fit in some training.....pack up our Prius and head out to California for a visit with Aunt Sue!  We had a blast road tripping together and made sure that we made it a memory for the girls.

The first morning Bob and I headed out on our 10 mile run around the back bay while the girls snuggled in Aunt Sue's chair while watching some "Jake and the Pirates!"  They were amazed that Aunt Sue had the shows they like.  Funny how that internet thing works.

This would be the first time for Evie and the ocean.  We couldn't wait to get there....but it was so chilly.  We started the afternoon at one of the nearby beaches and the rip current was really strong.  Bob and I knew right away that it wasn't a safe place for the girls to be by themselves so we all as a family started running from the aves.  Bob and I each had 1 charge and we were extra careful not to loose one of them to the waves.  Lily finally settled in to building a sand pool and attempting to keep herself hidden from the approaching waves.  She was there for hours while Evie sat digging in the sand.

The next day we were out at Corona Del Mar Beach for the morning.  Lily and Evie both had little pink and orange inner tubes and LOVED learning to ride the waves.  Let me tell you, I have some BRAVE little girls.

Bring it Pacific Ocean....Lily's got her floatie!

My cutie, sun kissed, blonde haired ladies LOVED every minute and were only disturbed by the amount of sand they carried in the bottom of their swim suits (oh the waddle.....I can still see it)

After a morning at the beach we headed out to Long Beach CA to check out the amazing Aquarium of the Pacific.  We were able to nail ourselves some discount tickets and  we had such a fun time seeing all the swimming creatures they had.  

I think our favorite thing came right at the end of our visit before the aquarium closed.  The large main exhibit tank is cleaned by divers every day and they do an entire show  while talking to the audience.  The girls were mesmerized and couldn't wait to High 5 the funny looking fish.

Our last day found us at the beach again.  Lily just couldn't wait to ride the waves and little Miss Evie was more content to build sand castles.  We walked the beach looking for shells and I managed to get a little solo walk over to the marina where the boats pull in.  It was a memory making morning and my girls had a hard time leaving.

For our last day we also got to visit a sea lion rescue.  It was small and a little "boring" for the girls, but one of the volunteers let us go in the roped off area to get a better look at all the sea lions.  After the aquarium the girls were unimpressed, but it made for a fun afternoon outing.  

We packed up the next morning and drove back home.  The time we spent was wonderful and Bob and I had a blast vacationing with our brood.  We are looking forward to the next time when we can maybe sneak a trip in to see Mickey and get a real Boogie board for wave riding!