Lily Grace

It feels like it has been a while since I spent some time just talking about my Lily Bear.  There is so much to say about her because she is simply so busy.

The best way to describe Lily these days is contrary.  I say yes, she says no.  I say no, she says yes.  I say don't do it, she runs as fast as possible TO do it.  Its constant.  Every boundary is being tested, every line being crossed.  Once the boundary is set again she has to test it 50 more times.  Goodness.  When I'm not frustrated, I am simply amazed.  She is exploring everything and I love that she is really learning her world.   Most of the things she does that just seem naughty are really her toddler attempt at learning.  She is just so smart.

Lily loves going to the doctor with baby Evie.  Her favorite thing is the blood pressure cuff and she is constantly asking me if she can take my blood pressure. 

Lily recently had her first visit to the dentist.  I wasn't sure how she would be and she was awesome.  Perhaps her good dentist behavior had to do with the fact that Memaw has been teaching her all about dental floss and teeth brushing.  Lily practically thinks its a hobby.  She was perfect and has great pearly whites.

Lily loves to watch movies these days.  Considering my family still calls me the "Movie Queen," I suppose it fits.  She LOVES to find a movie she likes and then watch it until she has each part memorized.  "Lady and the Tramp" is nearly worn out and we have now transitioned to the "Aristocats."  Introducing new movies into her repertoire tends to be a fight.  She just wants what she wants and "Lady and the Tramp" for the 40th time continues to delight her.

While horses are still her favorite animal, she is head over heels for Minnie and Mickey Mouse.  They go everywhere with her and no bed time is complete without their presence.  I love it because during this contrary time in her life all that I have to do is threaten to take the mice away and she immediately becomes obedient.  Thank you Minnie and Mickey for helping me to parent!

Lily has made a new best friend in Caleb Gallegos.  Caleb's mom, Sarah, and I meet once a week to run.  We both have toddlers and new babies and we are both runners.  It works great especially when all of our children combust.  Its been super cute to watch their little friendship emerge.  Lily is a little older so she tends to want to lead Caleb where he doesn't entirely want to go, but most of the time they do awesome together.

Lily is only still at nap and bed time.  She is constantly busy doing this and that around our house and Memaw's house.  She loves to help with laundry by spraying the spray and wash.  Actually she soaks one little spot on the shirt and feels it her responsibility to make sure EVERY item gets sprayed, but hey, it keeps her busy and teaches her to love laundry.  I'll take it!

Lily, I love you.  No matter how hard your little personhood is right now I just love you to pieces.  You are so smart and strong.  I know the world is big and you are small, but some day you are gonna figure things out and life won't be so hard between the two of us.  You are a beautiful little girl and have a will of your own.  I'm unbelievably proud of you and cannot wait to watch you become a woman.  All my love Lily Lu, you are my sunshine!

It's What I Could Do

This past week has been a hard one.  Saying goodbye to Curtis and dealing with the gaping hole in our family was at times overwhelming.  With everything happening in Missouri, it was so hard to be here in Colorado.  Wanting so desperately to be able to be a comfort to Chelsea and the family, but having too many responsibilities here.

On Thursday Bob and I felt the need to do something, anything to feel that we were somehow participating.  In these times it seems that the only thing we can do is pray.  Prayer is powerful, yes, but the need to DO something really weighed heavy on the two of us.  At this point in life the thing we do best is run.  Since having Evie I have become quite the runner.  What can I say, its my bliss.  Running is the thing I do when literally everything else in life is chaotic.  Running is simply my happy place.

When we found out that the funeral for Curtis would be held on Saturday, I could think of nothing better than to run and pray.  So Bob and I decided to run a prayer half marathon.  In order to keep the girls happy we took turns running.  I started in the morning bright and early.  It was truly a powerful thing to begin the morning in prayer.  It was cool and the perfect running conditions.

The experience of praying continually and purposefully was the most powerful thing I have ever done. Each mile brought a new person to pray for a new mission of prayer. Communing with the Lord was empowering and healing.  The miles were the easy part.  When I was done with the 13 I could have continued on.  I just didn't want to stop praying.   I felt that I was with Chelsea, with the family, the whole time.  It was something I won't soon forget.

Everything in me wanted to be there in the flesh, but that isn't what the Lord wanted for me.  He wanted me here in prayer.  So I ran and prayed......its what I could do.

I have had a hard time getting back into catching everyone up on life here at the Longmires because in the face of such loss so much of our life happenings seem trite.  I am now in a place, however, that I am ready to continue on.  We will miss Curtis, we will think of him often, and I'm sure I will shed many more tears but I know that the best way to honor him is to keep moving forward. So I will not stay in sadness, but cling to the promises of the Lord.

"Though sorrow may last for a night, joy comes in the morning."