Where there is LOVE......

there is discipline.  Where there is discipline, there are boundaries, and where there are boundary lines, my child has made it her mission to put her whole self across them.

Let me tell you, it has been so bad lately that I have had moments where I have clearly felt like an EPIC parenting failure.  Grace and I have always known that Jancsi and Lily have the sibling rivalry and relationship thing in the bag.  They may come from different mothers, but there are times you would never, EVER know.  After about 3 lovely days of fun, farm and playtime, we have now entered into full sibling mode where even being in the same vicinity of one another causes fits of screaming and naughtiness.  Its been real special.

This dynamic aside, Lily has been just plain awful.  Awful, rotten and just the naughtiest most defiant little sinful creature that I have ever encountered.

 In the span of 48 hours, she has slapped my face, kicked me, screamed numerous times at me, dumped her food, thrown her food, taken toys from Jancsi and told me "NO!" to my face more times than I can count.  I have literally exhausted my book of discipline, hence the failure comment.  Bob and my discipline choices usually turn Lily back into a good kid with little to no fuss?  What in the world?  I have found myself thinking, "Okay, I think I need a class or a book or something because I don't know what else to do."  I mean really, we don't spare the rod, but the rod is whittling away with use.  Oh faithful followers, its bad!

In all of this I have found myself in a place of anger and great sorrow.  I hate to always have to be "on" with this discipline.  I want my fun little girl back to snuggle, cuddle and play with.  I was about ready to cry my own self to sleep last night when she finally gave me a glimmer of hope.  She laid down beside me, put her arm around my neck and said simply, "Wuv you Mommy."  Oh Praise Jesus, my discipline is speaking love into her little life.

Being a parent, no, I mean REALLY being an "on all the time, consistent" parent is the hardest job I have ever had.  Speaking love through discipline is not fun, point in fact, it sucks, but the past few days have shown me how incredibly important it is.  Lily has crossed every boundary several times, she has discovered naughtiness I never knew she had in her and railed against any limitations put on her independent spirit, but she knows she is loved, by ME.

And recently I have had to LOVE her hard!