Tomorrow

After spending a year of our lives together, it has truly been a big adjustment to live without the Jessups in our house.  I know its been nearly 2 years since that blessed year, but sometimes the hole is still so big.  Especially as a stay at home mom, it was life giving to have another mom in the house.  Sometimes the job of mothering little ones is frankly a lonely road.  Don't get me wrong, its not a boring road, after all it seems like busyness is my middle name, just sometimes a lonely one.  I didn't realize how powerful having another mother in the house was until I moved back into the quiet of my own unshared space.

I suppose that is what makes tomorrow so very EXCITING!  After a year of life between us and two new babies, my sweet sister and friend Grace will be here!  Oh I can hardly contain my excitement.  I have been praying that the next few days while she is here will supernaturally slow down.  I cannot wait to sit on the floor in the kitchen and talk with her.  I cannot wait to put on our running shoes and fellowship over the miles.  I feel as though I have a gallon of tears that are going to pour out of me.  It's okay, she's seen them before.  My Jesus could not have orchestrated this visit at a better time.  I am humbled at how He loves me so.

Tomorrow cannot get here fast enough!

Running Buddies

Its months like this February that remind me how grateful I am for 2 things.......Friends and Running.  I am even more grateful that both are combined in my dear friend Sarah.  She and I have become inseparable running partners lately and we are usually found at least once if not twice a week out on the Mary Carter Greenway, pushing our children and running our stress out.  

This winter we decided to do the Winter Distance Series here in the City. It all started with the Santa Stampede 10k in December, followed by the Frosty Frozen 5 miler in January and ending this past weekend with the Snowman Stampede 10 miler.  The races have been great motivation and fantastic goals during the frigid snowy weeks.  Plus we have gotten to run all 3 races without our running brood.  

Bob came to our race this past weekend with Evie and captured our journey.  It was insanely windy which made for a MISERABLE final 5 miles, but we did it and finished strong.  

I am so blessed to have fellow running mothers to walk this parenting journey with.  February has been a challenging sometimes very lonely month for me.  I have dealt with sickness, and am still dealing with it,  all while adjusting to the long hours of a new job and significantly more single parenting hours. Its been quite a change and I've felt stuck in a little dark rain cloud.  I constantly remind myself that even though it wont be like this forever, it will be like this right now.  

Still I will be hopeful.  Even though it may be cloudy for a little longer, therapy sessions like this one seem to make it all alright.

It Only Makes you Stronger

Since graduating from the single jogger to the double hills have become HARD.  At first when I started to push the girls I would see a hill and just sink.  "Oh thats gonna be rough."  I would huff and puff up the hill, dramatically exuding all of my inner disgust over how hard I had to work and Lily would always ask me about it.  "I don't like hills Lily, they are so hard!" I would reply.

I didn't think much of it until one day a while back Lily started being afraid of hills.  "They are too hard Mommy, I can't do them!"  All of a sudden I had the acute realization that instead of empowering my daughter, I had crippled her.   I had failed to communicate that adversity is hard, but strength is found by pushing through the hardship, not running from it.  I had a pivotal moment in my life and realized right then and there that I needed to change the way I approached hills.  Yes, hills with an 80 pound jogger are hard, BUT they have made me stronger than I have ever been in my life.  So now when I see a hill I look down at my oldest daughter and say with confidence, "Here comes that big hill Lily, we can do it together.  Remember, it is only gonna make us stronger!"  She has taken to it and the other day someone was talking about hills and Lily piped up, "We like hills, they make us STRONGER!"

I'm glad I had this little epiphany because the past week and a half has been a monumental hill of a different kind.  A week ago Wednesday I came down with a stomach bug and ended up vomitting well into the night.  Between fever, chills, body aches and having to mother two girls the 2 days following were rough.  By last weekend I was confident that we were all on the mend.  Then Sunday Evie quit eating and just looked miserable.  She was fussy and I could tell something was wrong.  Monday morning I woke up to a horrible sore throat and headache, awesome, and Evie was still not herself. Sure enough, the doctor diagnosed the little one with an ear infection. Poor Baby.  Lily was doing well with a little stuffy nose and mild cough.  By Wednesday I was horribly worse.  My chest was tight, my head was miserable and I was in the throes of something AGAIN.  Then it got real.  Lily woke up in the middle of the night on Wednesday screaming, "Mommy my ear hurts!"  We got her comfortable and waited for the morning.  She slept in (another sign something wasn't right :) and woke up in pain and vomitting.  So we took her to the Doctor and sure enough, ear infection.  The poor kiddo was miserable all day.

Towards the end of the day we were all tired of the house so we ventured out.  We got to our one errand and Lily says, in the store, "Mommy I have to throw up."  I raced outside and nothing.  I got her in the car and as I was strapping her in the poor baby got sick.  Oh my heart hurt for her.  It was all over me, all over the car.  It was rough.

Finally on Friday morning I decided to get to a doctor and ended up being diagnosed with bronchitis.  Yeah, its been a BIG hill.  The saying, "If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger" is sometimes so cliche, but, it is so very true.  There have been moments this past 9 days where I have literally wanted to quit.  But I didn't and somehow now that we are coming out from under the cloud of sickness I can honestly say I'm glad I've learned how to like hills.  After all, they only make you stronger.

The Little Princess

Our sweet little cousin, Elly Katherine, celebrated her 1 year this past weekend and all of us Longmires were blessed to be there.  What a fun time to spend with family and friends while lavishing lots of hugs, snuggles and love on this little lady.

Elly is the epitome of gentle beauty.  She is quiet and fairly soft spoken.  She loves to observe and take it all in rather than be the center of attention.  In fact she was quite overwhelmed when she discovered that her quiet house had been overtaken by partygoers.  She found safety in her Daddy's arms.  Boy is she precious.

Elly Katherine is a loved little girl to be sure.  I couldn't help but capture a couple pictures of Grandma Jayne during the party.  Grandma's are special to be sure and it was simply beautiful to capture Jayne's face as she watched her granddaughter.

Since all of the cousins are girls, it was so much fun to have them all interacting together.  Mykennah and Kennleigh are like the mother hens, making sure all of the littles are in order and enjoying themselves.  Evie was noisy and into pulling on anything and anyone, while Lily was the terror of the group.  Elly just sat contemplatively taking it all in.  What a doll.

I was so blessed to watch as Elly's "village" came and went throughout the day.  Her family is big, sure, but it was all of the other Wyoming village that blessed me.  Elly was celebrated and I loved seeing the many awesome people that are going to speak into her life.

There was so much joy throughout the day and I look forward to watching her grow over the next year.  Such a special little girl.

Happy Birthday Little Lady!

A Letter to my 8 Month Old

Dear Little Bee,

8 months has come and gone, you are growing up right before my eyes.  I have had in my mind to write your 8 month blog all day today and now at 9:30 at night have found the uninterrupted time to do it.  Life has been busy this past month baby girl and with your Daddy off on his new job, your Mamma is workin' hard.  Right now you and your sister are fast asleep while your Daddy and I spend some time in the basement.  My moment to just stop and think of you has come.

Little girl, I love you.  Those 3 little words don't do the love I have for you justice.  You are so special to me and the joy you bring to me is simply supernatural.  You are beautiful and so happy these days.  You are kicking up a storm and laugh and giggle with your whole body.  It delights me.

You have completely mastered the art of rolling over and usually manage to get into all sorts of places as you explore across the ground.  While you are not in a hurry to crawl, you are so anxious to follow your sister and have started to pull your knees up underneath you.  You will be crawling in no time I am sure!  

Since you spend so much time on the floor, you tend to get tired of it and scream to sit up.  Sitting up  on your own is still a little ways away, but if I sit behind you you LOVE to play with Lily or one of your toys.  You are getting stronger every day.  

This month I have seen your personality start to make an appearance and I LOVE it. Yes we have had to have some conversations about not screaming at me, but you have found your voice and are learning to use it with ease.  You are a pretty laid back little lady, but when you want something, its serious!  

I love this stage that you are in Evie Bee.  I love how much you love me right now.  You cry when I leave the room and light up with joy when I come back.  It warms my heart more than you will ever know.  You giggle and keep me company, you talk and sing.  You are the best little cold weather running partner. You are beautiful.

You also have a special place in your little heart for your Memaw.  When you see her you smile too.  Maybe its because she looks like me, or maybe its because you know how awesome she is.  Either way it is so much fun to watch.  

Baby girl, I must admit, tonight I don't want you to grow up anymore.  You are simply perfect right now and I love every moment I get to spend with you.  I love your kisses, your snuggles, your kicks and your sweet blue eyes.  This month I am especially glad that the Lord blessed us with you.  You remind me every day that the best things happen to those who wait patiently and hope in the Lord.

Happy 8 months bug!

Love

Mom

Someday

Someday I will wake up having slept the whole night through

And waking I will quietly wonder what my girls have been up to

Someday I will have the time to sit and finish a book

But long for the days of Dr. Suess and stop to take a look

Someday I will run long miles with no jogger pushing back

And in the quiet dearly miss my noisy little pack.

Someday I will have the time to do whatever I please

And miss the time I had to give to keep my girls at ease.

Someday I won't have to change a stinky poopy diaper

But miss those many giggles and smiles I discovered on the changer.

Someday my house will be picked up no toys across the floor

I'll just have the memories, those days will be no more

Someday Tangled and Mulan will be just movies on my shelf

I'll miss them but just wouldn't want to watch them by myself.

Someday I will find myself the mother of two graduates

And shed a few unbidden tears of pride, their biggest advocate.

Someday I will find my girls strong women embracing their world

And wonder how the time flew by especially when I felt unheard.

Someday feels forever away when I'm right here in the trenches,

But each day takes my little girls closer to our little nests edges.

I will not wish their life away although some days are LONG

Because I know that someday their constant presence will be gone.

So I will find the grace and peace to hold each moment tight

And pray for strength and fighting will to raise each one up right.

Someday is tomorrow

In Today I will stay.

A Very Special Visit

We had two very special visitors to our house last weekend.  Great Grandma Joyce and Aunt Sue came out.  Last weekend was the first time since Bob and I got married that Joyce has been to the Rocky Mountains.  What a treat.  It was a really quick visit, but we enjoyed every minute. Wouldn't you know it that the two days they were here we got a couple of nice snow storms that left several inches of Denver snow on the roads.  We hunkered down inside and spent a glorious day with each other.

Lily regaled Great Grandma with all manner of stories and information while Evie spent many moments in the snuggles of Aunt Sue.  Lily was enamored with Aunt Sue too because she lives close to Minnie Mouse's house (Disneyland).  Plus, she looks a lot like that other favorite Grandma she adores.  I was simply grateful to have people around.  Since Bob has started his new job and is gone quite a bit it was wonderful to have some adult company in the house.

Grandma Joyce is a beautiful woman inside and out and I just love having her in our lives, especially for my girls.  She is a simple woman and doesn't need much to make her happy.  That is admirable to me.  I treasure time spent with her and love sharing conversations over similar decorating styles.  I am blessed by her and in some small way can stay connected to my own precious Grandma through her.  My biggest hope is that Evie and Lily will not only know her, but have a relationship with her.  She is a wealth of life knowledge and the perfect example of what it looks like to serve others and live life gracefully.

It was a very special visit and one that I hope we can do again soon!